To think I'm spending more than DP on petrol on the holiday?

[PandoraRocks]

DP and I are going away. We don't live together so have separate expenses etc.
I've just spent £100 filling the tank and that will get us to our destination towing a caravan. I've asked DP for half the cost of the petrol but he's said that instead of that, I'll return home with a full tank so I'll have the benefit of a replacement tank of petrol. Problem is he expects me to pay half of that tank. The way I see it, I'm paying for 1.5 tanks of petrol but he says I'll have a full tank when I get home which he won't be using.

Am I being dense here?🤯 I just think it would be fairer if we paid halves for the petrol as we use it on the holiday and when we're back it should be near empty.

I really think the person who is being driven around should err on the side of generosity.

So on that basis, although I couldn’t be bothered to do the Maths, yanbu

She said it was £100 to get there, not there and back.

the ‘youll have a full tank at the end’ is the key here. What does he mean? Op you need to ask him specifically what amount he is paying.

We've decided now that I will pay all the petrol and he will pay the equivalent for meals out, attractions etc. Its my car and caravan.
He has more disposable income than me but we have always paid halves for everything. We've been together a long time.

Absolutely!

What a miserable arse cringing, arse clutching way to live.

It's the same isn't it. You have spent £100 if he gives you £50 not you will have spent £50 and have an empty tank. If you have paid £100 now and you both pay £50 at the end of the holiday you will have spent £150 and have £100 worth of petrol.

If you need more petrol during the holiday you should pay half each.

Do make sure you charge him for the wear and tear on the passenger seat and please be aware that if he farts, this will loosen the fibres of the seat and charge him extra.

Of course, if his farts are extra strong, the smell of them-if they smell of his last meal-could feed you, so I suppose he could charge you for those.

So complicated but worth the haggling to ensure that neither of you spends any money on each other.

Same here

Nor I. What a Scrooge he sounds.

A decent man would offer to pay for both tanks, just to be nice. Especially if OP is using her vehicle and doing most of the driving.

If he is going to want to calculate pennies on how you share expenses for your vacation, I think the best thing to do is to keep receipts and work it all out at the end, however making sure you don't pay everything up-front yourself as someone who is going to "nickel and dime" you may not pay up when it comes to working out the bill at the end. Get a notebook. Make columns or pages for what each of you is spending. Write down everything you've spent on shared items for the holiday so far: deposits etc. Estimate how full your tank was before you filled it. Write that down. Write down how much you spent to fill it up. Keep doing that (let him pay for the next tank so you're not out of pocket, but write down his spends also, in his column or page. ). Do the same when you are on the holiday, whether for food, parking fees, petrol, etc. At the end, figure out how much each of you spent on shared items and then divide it in half and work out who owes what to whom.

I was thinking this exact thing. It must be exhausting. Do you keep a little notebook tallying it all up every time you do anything together?

Oh it’s THIS guy? Then yeah, he was just trying to get out of paying his fair share again and meant that OP should pay for 1.5 tanks and he’d pay for .5 of one.

OP, I know people said this last time but he is garbage and you don’t need him or his freeloading. You know he’s not actually going to pay his share of the meals and entertainment. He’s going to argue and protest and baulk until you give in and split that too because you don’t want conflict on a holiday. He knows what he’s doing and you deserve better.

Oh please God no... not him again!
I knew this thread reminded me of something to do with some tight bastard and a caravan belonging to the OP but couldn't quite recall it.

OP, I really don't know how you put up with this shit. He's tight as fuck.
Sounds like my ex to be honest. Does he have a spreadsheet of who pays what to be levelled up at the end of the month? Name beginning with A. Lives in Scotland.

You start with a full tank so when you get home you fill up the tank so you end up in the same position as you started. We do this as it’s only fair.

There's wear and tear on the car and caravan if you want to be like that about it.

@PandoraRocks

Seriously though, is this all that you can get?

Are his actions those of someone who loves you, who wants you to be at ease, feeling loved and smiling?

The more you accept this shitty behaviour, the less he will think of you and the cycle of contempt will go on.

You would be far better of on your own.

Are you going to calculate how muc tax insurance and wear and tear he owes you too? This sounds like too much hard work!

OMG he's a tight arse.

How do you stay with someone whose so tight all the time-wont pay electric at a caravan?

Who wants to be attached to a miser?

How bloody miserable. Dump. Enjoy the holiday on your own.

Ignoring all the relationship stuff, and just dealing with the mathematical side and being equal...

YOU pay to fill up at the start, so you start with a full tank.This is your baseline - you end up with a full tank to use, so this cost is "repaid" to you via petrol at the end.

Any fill ups during the holiday are split 50/50

The final fill up is back home, also split 50/50, leaving you with a full tank (which compensates you for the first fill up you paid for.)

He’s tighter than a gnat’s arse. I bet he insists on seeing receipts too.

How much are you charging him for accommodation in your caravan and wear and tear of your car? And if not charging him, why not?

Crazy petty but if you insist on dating a miserable tight arse, you have to learn to play their game.

would hate a relationship where every penny counted - I wouldn’t be going on the holiday

You pay half of it when you get back to be totally equal - that way you’ve paid for half of what you’ve used whilst on holiday.

*Nor I. What a Scrooge he sounds.

A decent man would offer to pay for both tanks, just to be nice.*

On mumsnet it’s “tight” if the man doesn’t pay for everything and “generous” if the woman pays for half.