To think I'm spending more than DP on petrol on the holiday?

[PandoraRocks]

DP and I are going away. We don't live together so have separate expenses etc.
I've just spent £100 filling the tank and that will get us to our destination towing a caravan. I've asked DP for half the cost of the petrol but he's said that instead of that, I'll return home with a full tank so I'll have the benefit of a replacement tank of petrol. Problem is he expects me to pay half of that tank. The way I see it, I'm paying for 1.5 tanks of petrol but he says I'll have a full tank when I get home which he won't be using.

Am I being dense here?🤯 I just think it would be fairer if we paid halves for the petrol as we use it on the holiday and when we're back it should be near empty.

Yeah, me neither. What a nightmare.

So it's your car, your wear and tear? Your caravan perhaps? He's a cheeky sod

Same!

He is right.

How is he right? He's happy to make use of her car, her caravan her doing all of the driving and not contribute anything but some meals and days out? He's taking his flask, so you can bet he won't be buying random coffees when the poster wants a break at a service station, that will suddenly be her choice even though she's the one doing the driving slog.

You'd get better value taking a dog for company, rather than his belittling rudeness

I know this has already been said but I just couldn't live like this. It would put me off being friends with someone like that never mind someone I was in a long term relationship with.
It must be exhausting trying to keep on top of every penny spent and who owes what.

I sympathise, I was with a man who would always find a way to ensure I paid more. Always. After years of this, in the end the generosity you started with is gone. So your car, your mileage, your caravan, your wear and tear, and he's too cheap to even offer to pay for the fuel money. Well good luck getting him to pay for whatever you've agreed when you're there.

He sounds awful🤢

And when they do pay for anything, its always when they get to be the big man in the restaurant paying the bill. Never the invisible costs.

Me neither. That would drive me nuts.

His way does makes sense too - it’s usually the way that car hire works too. There are multiple ways you can work this just get on and enjoy your holiday.

There isn't enough information in the OP to consider it properly. How many fills? Who pays for each? And how do you end up with a full tank at the end? You say you've paid 100 to fill the tank and this will be used getting to destination. (All of it?) Then will you need petrol while you are there? How much and who is paying? Then you'll need another 100 of petrol to get home again - is that right? Who pays for that? And considering it will get used by travelling home, how can that also mean you arrive home with a full tank for your own future use? Sorry if I'm being dense here. I think posters may be saying it's fair because you end up back at home with the same amount as when you set out. But I can't see how you arrive back with a full tank if you use some/all of it for travelling. And how it's fair that you bear the sole cost of funding the fuel for either or both return journeys as he is equally benefitting from both those journeys. Am I missing something?

Fill up before you leave, split equally any petrol while away, then fill up when you get back and split that.

It works the other way too. The OP is also quibbling over it!

You're meant to be partners!

I agree! Sounds so petty and exhausting.

I hope the rest of your relationship isn’t this petty!