To be annoyed with a friend who is perpetually late

[Livelifelaughter]

I have a friend who is great, fun, interesting, kind. But she is literally late to everything...if I say meet between 7.00 to 7.30 she will arrive at 8.15 ...Or ask to change the time at 7.25...I can put up with it to an extent if I am in my flat but it's when you're waiting to do something like this evening outdoors and instead of doing it in daylight your going to do it in the dark. She doesn't have reasons other than just not getting her act together. How do I mention this or should I suck it up?

Sartre drives me crazy too. My friend has improved. I think she under estimates traffic too! I do feel its a bad habit with people if its a pattern of it. Theatres got strict people coming in late..

I used to meet up with an old schoolfriend who would routinely roll up half an hour late and this was before the days of mobile phones. In the end I just started arriving similarly late and would look round the shops first.

That would be considerate, & then they can arrange to meet somewhere where it won’t matter so much if the friend is late.

Exactly. The feeling of low self worth when I'm late for something is so awful. I feel a failure. I go over and over what I did wrong.
I get distracted so easily. But I'm working hard. I make a time list, set various alarms, but sometimes I have a switch off moment in my brain like a fog and go completely off task starting something that in reality I don't have time for.
I have never laughed off my lateness as 'oh what am I like'
Someone who does this is either masking their issue or maybe they are not bothered but if that's the case surely their selfish attitude would be evident in other aspects of their lives.

So long as you realise that the person left waiting for you may also have accelerated feelings of low self worth because of your actions. They may feel insecure and not worth your effort to be there on time. They can be left sitting alone, waiting for someone who they think might not even bother to turn up.

One of the past reasons that I give 15 min and go... I couldn't sit there letting the "why am I not worth it?" escalate. (Now I'm menopausal and couldn't care less... but my younger self was full of raging insecurity)

Feeling bad about yourself because you make plans you don’t stick to isn’t the same as not being selfish. If you keep on making plans that leave other people hanging you are still using them for your benefit.