To not like being home with my toddlers?

[Windsweptbeach]

I don’t know how reasonable or otherwise this is but I just don’t enjoy it … we go out within a few hours of waking up. Say 9. Then stay out until dinner time (about 5.) Sometimes go home for nap but other times don’t.

We do do things like classes and groups and park visits but equally probably a lot is just finding errands and killing time. Not sure if this is good or not

We also used to be out of the house a lot. I find small children are better to hang out with when there is stuff going on. At home their attention is all on you and it gets a lot intense.

In the nicest way you do need to learn to make your no mean no. It’s not that they’re incapable of listening to you, you don’t have the faith that you can see it through so you avoid the trigger points and that’s just not a great long term strategy. At some point, ideally when they are very small, they have to learn that if you say no then you WILL make no mean no. It gets easier after that but it is a process that is a battle of wills, they will square up to you, try being sly, try screaming you down, breaking things you care about but once they start with that kind of shit it’s even more I post tanto not to back down or they learn that’s how to get round you and push that button every time, harder and harder until it breaks you!

The longer you keep backing down and avoiding anything that might kick them off the harder it will be to get through the battle of wills but there isn’t a short cut.

I also really agree with the posters who said about play schemas. Children have different play priorities and meeting them where they are at is more effective than trying to change them.
To go back to the pup analogy, if they are chewing something they aren’t allowed you swap it out for something they are that fulfills the same need.

So if they want to pull things out of cupboards then pick one you don’t mind then doing it with (we used the Tupperware cupboard) and then enforce no if lock the rest so it’s only one cupboard they pull out but they can do it.

It also sounds like you have a challenging hoke layout being open plan and with a pet. One thing that made it more bearable was gates and proofing so there was a limit on how much chaos could be created. Is there any scope to have restricted areas for things like cat litter?

*home

Op, have you heard of schemas? It's one of the things you learn on a child development course. If a child shows a repetitive behaviour in play it is (barring any as yet undiagnosed SEN) part of their brain development . So as frustrating as it is, and I really sympathise, if he's throwing stuff around , you could get him some throwing toys such as beanbags, balls, etc for him to practise it to his heart's content. (Apologies if you've tried this already)

Ugh me too. I'm so calm and happy and engaged outside. Don't touch my phone.

Inside I'm just wanting to do stuff in the house, and have to concentrate on not picking up my phone so much