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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tight fisted friend.

108 replies

Manders64 · 22/05/2023 14:08

I have friend (few years now) who is great fun and I love her company - but… she comes over often for dinner and stays over. She has often arrived empty handed and drunk and smoked and eaten here. I mentioned the mooching once and she took the hint and started arriving with a bottle of wine (which she drinks). Last night she arrived with an opened bottle of gin and some tonic saying she couldn’t find my favorite wine. We drank my wine, smoked, ate dinner and drank my whisky. She stayed over and had breakfast and took leftovers for her lunch. I then noticed she’d taken her gin and tonic with her - this has super irritated me as I feel that she’s taking liberties AIBU?

OP posts:
EVHead · 22/05/2023 14:10

Stop inviting her - eat out with her instead.

DiIIy · 22/05/2023 14:14

Shes tight. She should be offering something. Stop inviting her.

BMW6 · 22/05/2023 14:15

Christ don't eat out with her - she'll have forgotten her purse!

Tell her it's her turn to host and provide all the food and booze?

HadEnough2023 · 22/05/2023 14:15

Stop inviting her.

Kaibashira · 22/05/2023 14:16

"Sorry I've got nothing in tonight, shall we go to the pub?"

Is she inviting herself or are you inviting her? Why don't you ever go to hers?

Original poster
Manders64 · 22/05/2023 14:19

She’s doing up her house so is sofa surfing!

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 22/05/2023 14:20

If she’s sofa surfing then she’s obviously broke, it’s fine if you don’t want to fund that but if it’s annoying you stop inviting her over.

moomoolander · 22/05/2023 14:21

Go to her house and do the same.

littleripper · 22/05/2023 14:22

I'd text her tonight
"lovely evening and fancied a little G&T where did you put it?"
then when she admits taking it reply:
"oh, ok"

and then wait for her to apologise/get it or don't invite her again

Equalitea · 22/05/2023 14:22

if she is doing up her house maybe she is having money problems? Sofa surfing doesn’t sound fun.
I expect that it’s not ordinal just to you in this situation and she does it to others.

Personally I’d give it the benefit of the doubt until she had a stable roof over her head.

It does souls like she’s taking liberties but maybe she’s just really struggling and is embarrassed.

determinedtomakethiswork · 22/05/2023 14:25

I would've opened that gin immediately!

Original poster
Manders64 · 22/05/2023 14:28

Gin had already been opened! 😂

OP posts:
moomoolander · 22/05/2023 14:28

determinedtomakethiswork · 22/05/2023 14:25

I would've opened that gin immediately!

Same! You snooze, you lose, OP!

moomoolander · 22/05/2023 14:29

Manders64 · 22/05/2023 14:28

Gin had already been opened! 😂

Why didn't you drink it then?

Original poster
Manders64 · 22/05/2023 14:31

Dinner was on the table and wine went better with the dinner!

OP posts:
Isheabastard · 22/05/2023 14:31

Next time hide the gin bottle so she can’t take it home.

moomoolander · 22/05/2023 14:31

Manders64 · 22/05/2023 14:31

Dinner was on the table and wine went better with the dinner!

The wine you bought? You lose again! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

determinedtomakethiswork · 22/05/2023 14:35

Pour the gin out into another bottle and fill hers with water.

Original poster
Manders64 · 22/05/2023 14:39

It’s been doing it up for over a year and she wants to get it done up on the cheap using friends and free stuff from Facebook.

OP posts:
Magazinenotliving · 22/05/2023 14:40

She can't be that broke if she can afford to do her house up! Its pretty common for people to stay with friends if they are having major renovations done. I know extremely affluent people who have done this.

Original poster
Manders64 · 22/05/2023 14:40

I nearly did put it in The drinks cabinet.arrrrrrr

OP posts:
BillyNoM8s · 22/05/2023 14:42

If she's a regular cos she's broke and sofa surfing, just give her cheese on toast or whatever from the freezer. You don't need to keep supplying booze and weed(?).

If you don't want her round at all, don't invite her.

If you need her to bring things then be explicit. Sure, come for dinner but you'll need to bring all the supplies this time cos I'm spending too much on our evenings.

BillyNoM8s · 22/05/2023 14:44

Manders64 · 22/05/2023 14:39

It’s been doing it up for over a year and she wants to get it done up on the cheap using friends and free stuff from Facebook.

I don't understand. To me, "doing it up" means decorating/having work done? Does she have no kitchen/bathroom and no one working on it either? Or does she just have no furniture? Confused

Original poster
Manders64 · 22/05/2023 14:45

House is a wreck no kitchen bathroom or walls! Definitely no furniture.

OP posts:
Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 22/05/2023 14:49

You've got to admire the brass balls of it. I have a relative who has form for this. My dsis hosted a "ladies night" where she prepared cocktails, food etc and we all took snacks (except cf) and a bottle of wine. Cf relatives drank the cocktails and ate the food with enthusiasm and drank "our wine". When they left they picked up their bottle declaring "this is ours" instead of leaving it as a host's perk.