Page 5 | To ask why so many child-free people are on Mumsnet?

Monkeypuzzlegane · 22/05/2023 00:15

I have kids, I don’t come for the kids i come for the parking threads….bloody love them and a good diagram

CabbagePatchDole · 22/05/2023 00:15

DarlingClementine85 · 22/05/2023 00:04

My god, please read my original comment! I am clearly talking about people posting comments on the parenting threads here saying "I am child-free by choice but here is my opinion on parenting..."

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Oh I get you: child free people don’t know anything about parenting and shouldn’t have opinions on parenting. Do you hear how vile that sounds?

Mamanyt · 22/05/2023 00:16

DarlingClementine85 · 22/05/2023 00:14

Ok I really am sorry I seem to have misread this forum. I thought it was predominantly a community of women who had kids. That doesn't make us better or worse than people who don't have kids, I just thought it was a degree of common ground, and found it surprising when I read a number of posters on parenting issues threads saying they didn't have children through choice.

Of course I don't have a problem with people who don't have kids (but thanks for trying to push that narrative). You can all put your pitchforks down now 😬

We posted at the exact same time! I hope my answer has some meaning for you. I promise, no pitchforks involved!

LoveQuinnOhDearyMe · 22/05/2023 00:16

My reasoning as child-free for being on here actually began close to a decade back. The nursery I worked at was being taken over by one of the massive nationwide chains and I was doing some research and was looking for opinions from the parents side as to what to expect.

I started off largely just reading and also enjoyed seeing tips on the different needs of children and ways to work with them from a parents prospective.

The first thread I joined after setting up an account I believe was one of the TV ones and the conversation got very funny! I loved reading CF threads and general life advice threads and realising I’m not alone with anything in life and everyone has different issues. As a young 20s I found the site a good window into how life is.

Now I’m a teacher I like interacting on the teacher boards and sharing my experience from my nursery career.

Im also at the stage in my life where I want to start a family and am looking at multiple options. TBH I’ve never dreamed of walking down the aisle but I’ve always wanted to be a mum. It’s nice to just get a glimpse on here and interact with others in a similar position.

MinervaSaidThar · 22/05/2023 00:16

DarlingClementine85 · 21/05/2023 23:53

THANK YOU. I guess this is what bothers me too. It's the posts where people are judgemental towards parents just trying to do their best and then it transpires they don't have any, through choice. It's peculiar.

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Can you link to an example?

Because I have literally never seen this.

You say you’re very new to Mumsnet but you have come barging in trying to alienate people who have been here longer than you can imagine.

Donaldtrumpsscrotum · 22/05/2023 00:17

DarlingClementine85 · 22/05/2023 00:14

Ok I really am sorry I seem to have misread this forum. I thought it was predominantly a community of women who had kids. That doesn't make us better or worse than people who don't have kids, I just thought it was a degree of common ground, and found it surprising when I read a number of posters on parenting issues threads saying they didn't have children through choice.

Of course I don't have a problem with people who don't have kids (but thanks for trying to push that narrative). You can all put your pitchforks down now 😬

Haha pitchforks!

That's all you get on here. It's not real life so chill. Best to look for real life people if you want real life advice! 👌

AllLopsided · 22/05/2023 00:17

I came to read about bra fitting in 2014 and stayed because I like the fact that it's mainly women. Stayed for S&B, health, food, general chat. That ok with you OP?

DreamingCatTwitches · 22/05/2023 00:18

MinervaSaidThar · 22/05/2023 00:16

Can you link to an example?

Because I have literally never seen this.

You say you’re very new to Mumsnet but you have come barging in trying to alienate people who have been here longer than you can imagine.

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They definitely happen. The last thing I’d want to do is to remind myself by trying to find proof for you. It’s so bloody upsetting,.

MinervaSaidThar · 22/05/2023 00:20

DarlingClementine85 · 21/05/2023 23:47

I did see all those topics. And assumed that this was a community of people who had kids and ALSO were interested in things other than their kids. Like a forum for doctors who happen to be both doctors AND into style / watching TV etc and wanted to be part of a community of people who happen to all be doctors and can understand that world and all the shorthand that goes along with that. Or like a sewing group that discusses sewing AND books AND tv. Or like an NCT group that chats about parenting AND culture. For goodness sake it's not a difficult concept! But now you know, no harm done ❤️

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Maybe you would be better off on Netmums, OP.

MinervaSaidThar · 22/05/2023 00:20

DreamingCatTwitches · 22/05/2023 00:18

They definitely happen. The last thing I’d want to do is to remind myself by trying to find proof for you. It’s so bloody upsetting,.

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Very new to Mumsnet and already name changing, OP?

You can’t post examples because you have none.

Truestorypeeps · 22/05/2023 00:21

BustPipes · 21/05/2023 23:34

Could be because I find other women informative, funny, moving, erudite, passionate and empathetic.

Then I read posts like yours (and, tbf, the whole Holly and Phil dross) and think - why in hell do I read this shit?

Let alone bother commenting on it 😆 own goal much

CantFindTheBeat · 22/05/2023 00:21

DarlingClementine85 · 21/05/2023 23:32

Oh no I already feel like this is going south lol. I'm very new to Mumsnet and I only really click on the threads that interest me which are about parenting, which most of them seem to be, to be fair? I didn't know this had previously been brought up sorry.

You can be sure, on a forum that's been going for more than a decade, there is nothing original that ever comes up.

Your question must have been posted 100s, if not quite literally, 1000s of times.

Womencanlift · 22/05/2023 00:22

The pitchforks came out because your very first line said you knew this would be divisive. So you obviously knew that your post would be controversial but then the “oh I didn’t know” posts started when you rightly got called out. That’s why the thread has went the way it has (that and not knowing how to use the search button)

DreamingCatTwitches · 22/05/2023 00:22

CabbagePatchDole · 22/05/2023 00:15

Oh I get you: child free people don’t know anything about parenting and shouldn’t have opinions on parenting. Do you hear how vile that sounds?

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Come off it. Have some humility. I had no clue before I became a mum how fucking hard it would be and neither does anyone else.

SilentParrot · 22/05/2023 00:24

Purpleknickers · 21/05/2023 23:53

MYOB and my child is now 32 been a poster for around 25 years

crazy to think MN has been going that long.

DreamingCatTwitches · 22/05/2023 00:25

MinervaSaidThar · 22/05/2023 00:20

Very new to Mumsnet and already name changing, OP?

You can’t post examples because you have none.

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My kids were small nearly a decade ago.

magma32 · 22/05/2023 00:26

There is something really messed up about joining a forum for a group of people you don’t belong to, or want to belong to, and then slagging that group of people off while you are there. It is typical of a female led service to just self-abnegatingly put up with that kind of shit in order to be welcoming to everyone.

@DreamingCatTwitches exactly

Deathbyfluffy · 22/05/2023 00:26

It’s a great forum - I’m a man and find some incredibly interesting topics on here.
I am a parent, but the way some posters go on about men not being welcome and ‘invading women’s spaces’ (whatever that means) I’m not surprised some also whinge about childless women posting.

It’s a useful resource for both men and women, with and without kids.

Truestorypeeps · 22/05/2023 00:27

CabbagePatchDole · 22/05/2023 00:15

Oh I get you: child free people don’t know anything about parenting and shouldn’t have opinions on parenting. Do you hear how vile that sounds?

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Faux outrage. Faux offence taken. Child free people might like to think they have an idea but until you've done it, you really have no actual clue. It's all completely hypothetical. People sometimes want advice from other parents. They shouldn't be told they sound 'vile' for this. Get some self-awareness about how you sound yourself.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 22/05/2023 00:28

DarlingClementine85 · 22/05/2023 00:14

Ok I really am sorry I seem to have misread this forum. I thought it was predominantly a community of women who had kids. That doesn't make us better or worse than people who don't have kids, I just thought it was a degree of common ground, and found it surprising when I read a number of posters on parenting issues threads saying they didn't have children through choice.

Of course I don't have a problem with people who don't have kids (but thanks for trying to push that narrative). You can all put your pitchforks down now 😬

I think you have misread this forum op, I’ve been on MN a few years now & ignore the parenting threads as I do any of the other threads that don’t interest or apply to me. Mumsnet is just a name it’s content is so much more, you obviously haven’t discovered this. Sorry op i think you are the one holding the pitchfork.

CantFindTheBeat · 22/05/2023 00:29

DarlingClementine85 · 21/05/2023 23:26

I already know this is going to be divisive and I'm hesitating before I even type this. I don't mean this in a snarky or judgemental way at all. It's just a straightforward question that I've been pondering. It seems there's a lot of posters on here who are child-free by choice (I'm not talking about people dealing with infertility who would dearly love to be parents). And I was wondering why, as this is predominantly a forum for getting or giving parental advice? For questions about trying to understand their friends with kids, I absolutely get it. But I see plenty of threads about various parenting issues and there's always people saying things like "I don't have kids, but..."

TIA for not taking offence!!

Reported for being unoriginal, goady and blatant.

Usetherightgearforthehill · 22/05/2023 00:30

magma32 · 22/05/2023 00:26

There is something really messed up about joining a forum for a group of people you don’t belong to, or want to belong to, and then slagging that group of people off while you are there. It is typical of a female led service to just self-abnegatingly put up with that kind of shit in order to be welcoming to everyone.

@DreamingCatTwitches exactly

Out of interest how quickly after I miscarried my baby was I supposed to deregister because I no longer belonged to the correct group of people?

magma32 · 22/05/2023 00:31

VivienneDelacroix · 22/05/2023 00:05

I do agree that there is far more than parenting on here, however I do find it slightly unnerving when there are childless by choice men commenting on here.

This space was originally set up for mums, and has morphed into a wider space, but I just think that there are so many spaces for men, set up by men that I don't particularly welcome their contributions to threads or the tapping into the female hive mind that some of them seem to use this forum for- we do enough free emotional labour for men irl.

I understand dads using the space (even though I do think perhaps they could set up their own space) as parenting advice for men is harder to come by- but the childless by choice men who start sentences with "I'm a man and I think..." do irritate me - especially when they comment with things like "everyone on Mumsnet says xyz" it just makes me want to write "Stand down women, a man has spoketh".

Yep this.

MrsFezziwig · 22/05/2023 00:31

DarlingClementine85 · 21/05/2023 23:35

Wow ok I guess I touched a nerve 🙈

Now that is a snarky comment.

AmeliaWarnerBros · 22/05/2023 00:35

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