To ask why so many child-free people are on Mumsnet?

[DarlingClementine85]

I already know this is going to be divisive and I'm hesitating before I even type this. I don't mean this in a snarky or judgemental way at all. It's just a straightforward question that I've been pondering. It seems there's a lot of posters on here who are child-free by choice (I'm not talking about people dealing with infertility who would dearly love to be parents). And I was wondering why, as this is predominantly a forum for getting or giving parental advice? For questions about trying to understand their friends with kids, I absolutely get it. But I see plenty of threads about various parenting issues and there's always people saying things like "I don't have kids, but..."

TIA for not taking offence!!

I think people often end up here because if you google, say a product review, it often throws up Mumsnet in the first few google results and people can get sucked in that way. Also, Mumsnet threads get heavily pinched for clickbaity articles (just the way Mumsnet HQ hopes they will) and that in turn leads to lots of people joining.

I think you could work this out for yourself if you have a little look around Mumsnet.

Style and Beauty
Feminism
Horses/Cats/Dogs
Holidays
Chat
AIBU
Telly Addicts
Pendants corner
Etc.

Loads of the content has nothing to do with parenting. Sometimes it is good to do a small amount of independent research to find an answer. Particularly, if you feel the question might upset someone. Could have found your answer in about nine seconds if you looked at the topic list.

But, no harm done and now you know!

I think a bunch of nerves? Like when you accidentally touch a tonsil with an electric toothbrush and get the urge to heave? At least that's what it reminds me of.

No need to apologise @DarlingClementine85

You were clear in the thread title so if anyone finds the question repetitive, they don't need to click on it. Let alone reply.

Perhaps it needs renaming GeneralStuffnet

I don't think it's an unreasonable question, not any more so than a lot of others asked on here. I can understand why you're asking OP, and tbh I didn't join until after I had children because the name led me to believe that it was for parenting advice. I very quickly realised the depth of topics though and have seen some brilliant advice on lots of other points. I think that's what makes so many people find it.

Thank you! It was a genuine question and I'm not sure why I'm getting such snarky responses. I wasn't criticising people for not having kids or trying to gatekeep or whatever. I just genuinely thought this was a parenting forum. But I haven't been here as long as some, and haven't had the pleasure of being part of what is clearly a warm and welcoming community of women 🥱

Honestly I never would have ended up here pre kids so it beats me 😂😂! I was genuinely shocked at it too initially but can understand it now. Still never would have clicked on anything with “mums” on it pre kids.

@DarlingClementine85 Fair enough question.

I think many people google lots of things, and because Mumsnet is so huge, they quite often get directed here. And once you're here, it's like the Hotel California. "You can check out any time you like - but you can never leave..."

It's addictive. It draws you in, and you end up going down a rabbit hole, as there's so much here. LOADS of stuff on here is not about parenting. It was originally for mums, but has grown and developed.

I think if only mums were here, it may be a little bit staid. Nice to have lots of different peeps!

Exactly. This has been done to death.

Name another forum with such a wide range of topics that child free women should post on?

Money saving expert maybe but that's mostly finance, just like digital spy is mostly tv.

Here is the best for general conversation about life's topics. Work romance aibu health feminism etc. hen dos!

GeneralStuffsNet!

Pendants corner

Excellent typo

But you said in your OP, that it was going to be divisive, or do you want a community of women that are only mothers?

I’m sure I’ve read a post with your exact wording very recently.

I am not child free by choice but was at peace with that long before I came to Mumsnet.

I think I first landed here after googling something on how to remove a stain.

Now I find the menopause boards very useful, those about gardening, arts and crafts and books interesting, and often follow or contribute to property threads, those on certain legal matters where I have expertise, and health threads.

Don’t stop thinking of yourself as a person, rather than just a parent, OP. Stay interested in things outside being a mummy. I am sure that all of us are defined by far more than just our reproductive status.

I’m here for the company of other women who are kind, helpful, funny and interesting.

The thread title I seem to see being constantly repeated is 'what word do you hate?'

fuck sake, don't they know that 72% of them are going to predictably say 'I hate the word moist'.

Oh Good, Another "You Can't Sit With Us" thread

Which of the women who are solely stepmums or have only had stillbirths miscarriages and failed IVF would you like MNHQ to kick off the forum OP?

Came here for the penis beaker, stayed for the feminism

No you didn't. That implies that people are being over sensitive in their responses.

I did see all those topics. And assumed that this was a community of people who had kids and ALSO were interested in things other than their kids. Like a forum for doctors who happen to be both doctors AND into style / watching TV etc and wanted to be part of a community of people who happen to all be doctors and can understand that world and all the shorthand that goes along with that. Or like a sewing group that discusses sewing AND books AND tv. Or like an NCT group that chats about parenting AND culture. For goodness sake it's not a difficult concept! But now you know, no harm done ❤️

Yes, lots of interesting chats, from history to fashion...It was recommended to me by a mum friend who read a great ghost story here!

Oh, and you really didn’t touch anyone’s nerve. Maybe just irritated them by your lack of imagination and inability to do a search on the site, both of which make you the one who looks a bit of a tit.

How do you know so many people here don't have kids if you're new to the forum? Genuine question

I personally don't think men should be on here. I'm sure one will wade in now to explain to me precisely why he's entitled to be though

I said child-free by choice.

When my kids were young and I was actually struggling- it was so relentless with so many impossible choices, it used to really upset me how many people without kids would slag off parents for needing to make impossible decisions in the moment on Mumsnet.

A lot of teachers posted threads slagging off parents after disclosing they weren’t parents themselves, just letting it be known how much they hate us and why, and then encouraging others to join in and stick the boot in.

There is something really messed up about joining a forum for a group of people you don’t belong to, or want to belong to, and then slagging that group of people off while you are there. It is typical of a female led service to just self-abnegatingly put up with that kind of shit in order to be welcoming to everyone.