To ask why so many child-free people are on Mumsnet?

[DarlingClementine85]

I already know this is going to be divisive and I'm hesitating before I even type this. I don't mean this in a snarky or judgemental way at all. It's just a straightforward question that I've been pondering. It seems there's a lot of posters on here who are child-free by choice (I'm not talking about people dealing with infertility who would dearly love to be parents). And I was wondering why, as this is predominantly a forum for getting or giving parental advice? For questions about trying to understand their friends with kids, I absolutely get it. But I see plenty of threads about various parenting issues and there's always people saying things like "I don't have kids, but..."

TIA for not taking offence!!

I joined years before I had a child when I was looking for paint colours. Mumsnet shows up near the top of Google searches and I got sucked in to the general chat.

Parenting is only a part of this forum, the same as it's only a part of parents' lives. I have interests beyond my child.

It’s an odd distinction - I wanted kids but all my pregnancies failed. I’m still no more qualified to offer parenting advice than anyone who knew they never wanted children. Why do you feel otherwise? Or is this just another post designed to make women who don’t want children branded as some sort of weirdo outsiders?

@DarlingClementine85
All the Various chat categories, how many of them are strictly parent or parent related.
Then you still have around 60-70% of threads not related to being a parent.

Especially when you also consider the threads that end up in the daily mail, and most of those are not parental related.

MYOB and my child is now 32 been a poster for around 25 years

THANK YOU. I guess this is what bothers me too. It's the posts where people are judgemental towards parents just trying to do their best and then it transpires they don't have any, through choice. It's peculiar.

I said child free by choice

I don't care.

Your first line

I already know this is going to be divisive

Shows that it was your intent to be exclusionary and you considered asking the question as somehow daringly controversial instead of nasty and unoriginal

Really? Do we only qualify to post if you wanted to have children then?

The emoji you posted after warm and welcoming community of women is rather telling.

OP, your nerves seem touched...

Probably should have quit while were ahead @DarlingClementine85

Banning CFBC people is just a bit mean.

How would you differentiate between those of us who cannot have children and those who do not want children?

Weird twisting of my words. I would assume that someone who wanted to be a parent would have an interest in parenting and would be interested in a parenting forum - there are ttc boards on here after all. And that someone who never wanted to be a parent would have no interest in parenting and wouldn't be interested in posting on parenting threads. I'm not referring to style and beauty threads here but giving actual parenting advice. In a similar way I'd find it strange to see a man who never wanted to be a dad giving his opinion on parenting.

this is predominantly a forum for getting or giving parental advice

Although it started out that way, it has moved far beyond that now.

I saw Justine give a speech at an Open University graduation ceremony and she talked about starting it up after a terrible holiday experience as a young mother of twins. She can’t have imagined that one day she’d be saying to Boris Johnson that he was a proven liar 😃

I joined MN when my 1st pregnancy had patau syndrome (trisomy 13). I lost 3 pregnancies, 13yrs TTC and multiple rounds of IVF. Should I stop reading and commenting on non- parenting things on MN because I can't have children OP?

I only comment on topics I have experience/knowledge in. I've found a wealth of knowledge about all manner of things on here- non of which are parenting related!

Through someone saying "I am child-free by choice" lol

Oh OP I feel for you! I asked the same thing a while back and essentially got lynched by the "child free by choice" brigade and the mums who'd have one too many wines and wanted to rip me to pieces 🫠 I ended up hiding the thread in the end as couldn't be arsed with the attitude to a pretty reasonable question- and like you I asked it in a non confrontational and careful manner.
Just glad I name changed so nobody tags me on my own old post 😂
But for what it's worth OP yes it's weird, I never considered using MN pre-kids cos well why would I? *waits for the inevitable "just cos you never considered it doesn't mean others wouldn't...."

But surely you could work out from the diversity of topics available why people without kids would be here? Because people without kids also like those things. As you say, it's not a difficult concept!

lynched

yes it's weird, I never considered using MN pre-kids cos well why would I

A friend sent me a link to the lemon drizzle thread and I was hooked.

Wait until the OP finds out there are men on here too 🤯🤣

Isn’t a better question, how did you end up on Mumsnet, especially if you are child free? I can absolutely understand why you would stay with such a varied range of topics for a forum predominantly for women. It’s interesting how people got here in the first place (it was pregnancy that led me here but now I stay for the feminism topics).

So I should have a user name which says 'FiveShelties - I am unable to have children' just to ensure you know that I am not childless by choice. Not sure about the LOL though.

I love the drama.

A lot of people love judging parents don’t they? No compassion or understanding required.

A lot of child free people have kids in their lives.

I don't read the parenting stuff, though I might have a child later and its given me things to consider.

I mostly read the relationship and work posts when bored.

Otherwise I look at reddit, though it's annoying when they assume I'm a man too.