Be Kind - Schofield/Willoughby

[reachingfeverpitch]

The internet seems full of awful comments about Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby.

People should perhaps remember what happened to Caroline Flack!

So we're supposed to "be kind" to people accused of domestic violence....

CF hit someone over the head with a lamp. She made sure that the truth was never known because she took her own life rather than face any level of responsibility in court.

I'm so sick of hearing her name trotted out as if she was a victim. She CHOSE to live her life on social media, but couldn't cope when the adoration turned.

Journalists are openly saying that things are going down in terms of stories about to come out. But m going to say that I think there’s a high risk of suicide right now if that’s the case. I hope he is surrounded by family at the moment.

#bekind can bore off, and that's me being polite. Its used far too often for people who are doing something they shouldn't. Stick #bekind up your arse.

People mentioning gagging orders, they are agreements between people but dont stop someone reporting a crime to the police as a victim (or any crime actually). Therefore if something has gone on between him and a victim of him, then that can be reported to the police.

☝🏽🔔 💯

Imagine AIBU if everyone remembered to #BeKind 😂

Funny how it goes out the window then

Be kind?
Ok, to date have his actions been kind?

I strongly suspect this protective defense of Mr Schofield isnt going to age well.

Agree. Philip gets everything he deserves. I dont want to be kind to him

No.
#bekind is a shield to prevent analysis and criticism.

I don't know. Maybe a bigger issue in terms of safeguarding and the likelihood that other children were victims but to a victim of either child abuse of domestic abuse, one isn't a bigger issue or less valid than the other. Both can cause horrific trauma. I actually do think @bellac11 is talking sense here. I'm not saying CF deserved hounding from media, social media etc but let's stop portraying her as some kind of victim rather than someone who should have controlled her actions. There was no evidence to prove she had diminished responsibility through acting in self defence or provocation. If CF had not killed herself she would not be regarded as any different from Amber Heard.

@bellac11 is #trynottobesohostiletopeople your own version of #bekind ? If so, I'll respond to it the same way I would to #bekind which is #fuckno.

I will decide to who I will offer kindness and it isn't to the likes of Phillip Schofield.

I didn't watch it live either, I never have. But that clip was all over my social media.
I think a lot of people are very gullible and look up to celebrities, and take their cue from them.

Take into account the relative ability of the victims to seek redress for their injury (in these specific instances).

CF bf, a grown man, is walloped on the head with a phone after she finds messages leading her to believe he is cheating. She did not intend to draw blood and acted out of impulse. He immediately phoned the police and action was taken against her.

Tim Schofield’s victim was abused from he was 13 years old for a period of 3 years (2016-2019), he feels “numb to life”, and was unable to report the offences until December 2021.

Philip Schofield was aware of the crime from September 2021 and did nothing. Absolutely nothing, over 4 months. When his brother could have harmed this child or another child leaving them “numb to life” too.

I really don’t think the two cases are remotely comparable in terms of the damage caused.

And I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. So no I will not be kind to PS, he made his decision in supporting a criminal and really awful crime.

I don't understand the MN attitude to CF. It is tragic that she was hounded and saw no way out but I don't see why she was held up as a someone who was innocent in the whole affair .

I don't see her as different to anyone else who hit their partner. Unless there was more to the story than that e.g. The allegations were false or she was acting in self defence or having some sort of psychosis ? I haven't heard either of these as per the case

Ah I see. I didn't know the details of how long the abuse had gone on for in the case of Schofield s brothers victim or that CF behaved in a one off moment of madness. I suppose any one could get upset if they believed they had been cheated on. Thanks for clearing that up.

I am someone who endured not only sexual abuse but grew up suffering from serious domestic abuse by a parent which I'm still in treatment for in my 40s after suffering catastrophic breakdowns of CPTSD, BPD and an eating disorder which almost killed me . So I guess I was not responding v objectively when I posted .

"Numb to life" is exactly how I was for so long until I started getting well. Either numb or dissociated or extremely emotionally over reactive. I hope this man who was abused for so long can recover.

some of you are incredibly naive and are obviously fortunate enough not to have ever been put in a similar difficult position. These things are never that straight forward, as hard as that is to hear and understand. I am aware of similar allegations being made against somebody I know but the victim did not want to take it the police. It is not my place to do so and it would be totally wrong of me to do that to the victim. None of us know the full story between Philip and his brother. I personally think Holly's view that she was somehow important in all of this and that Philip owed her a 'heads-up' is even more unsavoury!

I wasn't a fan of hers and thought she should have been charged, but obviously it is very sad it lead to such a tragic outcome. I think some people think she was a victim of the hounding, not a victim for being arrested (well, that's how I felt anyway).

But some people are completely on PS side and think he can do no wrong while simultaneously vilifying her, as if every person that has had an issue with him are all lying because there isn't a police report.

The one thing we do know is even if he couldn't have gone to the police about his brother because he said he thought he was 16, it says a lot about someone that they wouldn't be disgusted with their sibling and concerned about that child. Surely in all his years talking about different issues on tv he has at least once discussed child protection or vulnerable teens or gone to related charity events? He can't plead ignorance

As for the NDA, if the runner was over 16 when/if something happened then no police report, but it would certainly tarnish his image if it got out because it is disgusting. Ok, we don't know what is being hidden but it is not outrageous to think this is the reason why he would want one, particularly after he didn't fall out with his brother when he found out about him until he was charged.

Anyway, as for BeKind I think it just makes people think can't speak up about bad behaviour.

There's a difference between being truly nasty and having an opinion on someone who's actions are wrong. EG 'don't like the person because I don't agree with x,y,z' compared to sending messages or posting public tweets threatening them or telling them they hope they die.

I agree.

There's a lot of misinformation on this thread though.

Caroline Flack did not hit her bf with a phone she hit him with a lamp.

Phillip Schofield has said that he was not aware that his brother had committed a crime and that if he'd known then he would have reported it. From what I've read he thought the teenager was 16 - but this is not at all clear in any of the reporting I can find now. If he had admitted to knowing that his brother was abusing a child and that he knew about it, then I'm sure he'd be in court as well for aiding and abetting. I'm not defending him at all by the way, I think he's dodgy as hell and is probably telling lots of lies.

I have no time for CF or PS.

I think a lot of people do believe he thought the boy was 16 (rightly or wrongly, we can only go by what he has said) but it doesn't make it any better that he did not fall out with his brother when he found that out. There is not really a difference in emotionally maturity between 15 and 16, they're still a child and look like a child, and being taken advantage of by a middle aged man. It just means you can get charged with one and not the other.

So even if legally he hasn't done anything wrong by not reporting, morally he has by accepting it when he was told, and that alone is enough for people to reasonably dislike him. I have a 16 year old and the thought of someone in their 50s having a sexual interest in them makes me feel sick.

CFs actions also were enough to make people reasonably dislike her (certainly changed my opinion of her), but it is a still tragic how it ended because of all the hate.

And how do you know he didn't 'fall out' with his brother - what does that even mean? Just because he didn't publicly slate him for all to see doesn't mean he approved. I am certainly no PS fan, I find him a bit smarmy, not my cup of tea at all BUT people on here are being ridiculous.

PS said when TS told him, he just told him it couldn't happen again and that his brother made it sound like a one off. That conversation was in 2021 and in his court statement 2023.

Falling out means when people don't speak to each other. Usually because they don't agree with something the other has done.

@Superdupes please see below from the inquest.

https://www.itv.com/news/2020-08-06/caroline-flack-told-police-called-to-partner-assault-i-hit-him-he-was-cheating-on-me

Ugh OP Caroline Flack was a domestic abuser - imagine if she were a man, would your #bekind kick in then?

#bekind actually means #besilent, women!

I'll save my kindness for situations that actually require it.

Be Kind is an essentially misogynistic trope. I'm inclined to think women should Be Angry more often.

This.

I'm so sick of this be kind bullshit. Just means women shut up. Fuck that.