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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Veet 10yo DD's legs?

123 replies

PolkaDotMankini · 21/05/2023 12:08

As the title says, DD is 10. Although the weather's been getting warmer, she's been reluctant to wear shorts. She told me last week that she felt self-conscious about her hairy legs. It's true that her lower legs are quite hairy, but they're fine blonde hairs (and she's 10!). I've never made any comments about them but she's aware that I shave my legs.

She asked if I could shave her legs. I explained the options: shaving or Veet. She liked the sound of Veet so I did her legs for her this morning. She loves how they look and feel and went out for the day in a skirt.

I think I did the right thing but I just can't help feeling like she's too young.

YABU - she's too young
YANBU - you did the right thing

OP posts:
pennycoins · 21/05/2023 12:18

I think it's fine. My DSD who is 10 started to veet last summer; she is very dark haired though and they were very obvious. Same thing; didn't want to get her legs out etc.

Her mum decided to Veet and obviously my partner agreed when they spoke about it too.

Kids also can be very cruel; I worry about bullying a lot.

GladysHeeler · 21/05/2023 12:28

Morally you mean? Fine. It's her hair, she should be allowed to do what she wants with it.

I'd be concerned it might be too aggressive for her skin though. It's quite a strong chemical.

mercibucketedyeo · 21/05/2023 12:39

Yes, you are absolutely correct to help your daughter with this

I'm sure Veet sensitive will be fine, but make sure you teach her how to use a razor before she attempts it by herself someday - she'll only end up hurting herself

I've a little DD, not at this stage yet - won't be for a long time but I'm hoping she'll be open to waxing. If not, we'll see what she wants to do

To a PP, her father doesn't get a say lol no daughter of mine will be asking any man for permission for what she does to her body.

Anotherparkingthread · 21/05/2023 12:40

You did the right thing. She expressed unhappiness and self consciousness and you let her have the autonomy to fix it. She is happy and confident. Don't over think it.

pennycoins · 21/05/2023 13:06

mercibucketedyeo · 21/05/2023 12:39

Yes, you are absolutely correct to help your daughter with this

I'm sure Veet sensitive will be fine, but make sure you teach her how to use a razor before she attempts it by herself someday - she'll only end up hurting herself

I've a little DD, not at this stage yet - won't be for a long time but I'm hoping she'll be open to waxing. If not, we'll see what she wants to do

To a PP, her father doesn't get a say lol no daughter of mine will be asking any man for permission for what she does to her body.

No, you are right. But dsd mum called to speak to him to have a discussion as to what he thought. They are both her parents and they both respect that. There's no harm in them having an adult discussion about their daughter.

Mariposista · 21/05/2023 13:36

You did absolutely right. Poor kid, it’s hard enough going through adolescence without being ‘the hairy kid’. Veet is much smoother than shaving (and safer) and she can look into waxing and laser as she gets older.

shammalammadingdong · 21/05/2023 13:43

Better to work on her self esteem than bow to pressure.

My DD had plenty of fine hair at that stage. I didn't start modifying her body at the age of 10! What next, HD eyebrows, false tan and extensions?

FirstTimeNameChanger · 21/05/2023 13:46

I think it's really sad that little girls are so self conscious, and so conditioned to worry about what other people think of them, that they feel the need to shave! I would tell me daughter it's normal to have bodily hair. I am unusual in this I suppose.

PixieAndProsecco · 21/05/2023 13:50

shammalammadingdong · 21/05/2023 13:43

Better to work on her self esteem than bow to pressure.

My DD had plenty of fine hair at that stage. I didn't start modifying her body at the age of 10! What next, HD eyebrows, false tan and extensions?

And with the best will in the world, with the most supportive parents in the world, there is no saying that she will feel confident enough to have her legs out with hair on them.
Also, no one claimed she was being pressured into it by anyone.

Should the OP just then accept that she will wear trousers, jeans and leggings in the upcoming heat as a result?
Or force her child to wear shorts and skirts when uncomfortable all in the name of not bowing to pressure?

To get from fake tan, HD brows ans extensions from removing leg hair is a massively unhelpful leap. I am a 30 year old woman who removed my own leg hair at a similar age yet I am still to fall victim to the HD brows, fake tan and extensions you speak of.

YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 21/05/2023 13:52

My daughter was about that age. She had really hairy legs that had been noticed at school and some of the boys kept calling her monkey.

She had a lady shave at first until she felt comfortable using a razor.

Original poster
PolkaDotMankini · 21/05/2023 13:53

I've always been very open with DD and DS about body hair, how bodies look and bodily autonomy. I said to DD that it's perfectly ok to have hair all over her body. Obviously though, I shave my legs (and IPL and wax in various other areas). That's my choice and I know it will have an impact on what the DC see as normal. I don't think that makes it wrong.

In terms of body modifications, I also let DD have her ears pierced last summer holidays. She'd been asking for years.

OP posts:
Original poster
PolkaDotMankini · 21/05/2023 13:56

mercibucketedyeo · 21/05/2023 12:39

Yes, you are absolutely correct to help your daughter with this

I'm sure Veet sensitive will be fine, but make sure you teach her how to use a razor before she attempts it by herself someday - she'll only end up hurting herself

I've a little DD, not at this stage yet - won't be for a long time but I'm hoping she'll be open to waxing. If not, we'll see what she wants to do

To a PP, her father doesn't get a say lol no daughter of mine will be asking any man for permission for what she does to her body.

Good point - I remember experimenting with using my mum's razor and getting nicks all over my knees. I'll teach her how to use one.

The Veet was the sensitive, ammonia-free version.

OP posts:
RightWhereYouLeftMe · 21/05/2023 13:57

YANBU. My mum refused to let me get rid of my very dark leg hair until I was about 16. She shaved her own legs so I'm not sure what point she thought she was making.

omnishambles · 21/05/2023 14:00

I haven't with my own DD just because with fair blonde hair it will never need shaving if you don't start. Which is why I wish I'd listened to my own mother.

Curtains70 · 21/05/2023 14:01

YANBU my mum refused me when I was about that age and I just did it myself with Dad's razor with disastrous results.

DSD has just turned 11 and is going through puberty and shaving under her arms so I don't think 10 is ridiculously young anyway.

HermioneIsMyHomegirl · 21/05/2023 14:04

omnishambles · 21/05/2023 14:00

I haven't with my own DD just because with fair blonde hair it will never need shaving if you don't start. Which is why I wish I'd listened to my own mother.

I beg to differ here - I have fair hair, but when I was a young teenager my legs were so hairy they would pole out of 70 denier tights. So they were incredibly noticeable - being fair does not mean invisible!

Sceptre86 · 21/05/2023 14:05

Yanbu and know your dd best. I was 10 when my periods started and my mum helped me use veet initially and then taught me how to shave. She was very open and normalised all of that kind of stuff so it never felt like a big deal to me. She was much slower though on letting me remove my upper lip hair (her reasoning was then I'd have to always do it) and I was teased mercilessly for it.

baklavagoddess · 21/05/2023 14:05

My DD has also expressed this but she is only 8, I always said as soon as she is bothered by her hair I would help her with it if that's what she wanted, my dd is half Middle Eastern so very dark haired

powerrangers · 21/05/2023 14:07

shammalammadingdong · 21/05/2023 13:43

Better to work on her self esteem than bow to pressure.

My DD had plenty of fine hair at that stage. I didn't start modifying her body at the age of 10! What next, HD eyebrows, false tan and extensions?

What age do you feel it is appropriate. Btw, hair removal isn't body modification. It's cosmetic and temporary.

powerrangers · 21/05/2023 14:08

@mercibucketedyeo To a PP, her father doesn't get a say lol no daughter of mine will be asking any man for permission for what she does to her body.
But you do get a say and get to give or withhold permission? Why so??

barelyfunctional · 21/05/2023 14:10

You did the right thing. I wasn’t allowed to shave until I was around 14, and wasn’t shown how to do it. I got bullied horribly and now have big scars on both ankles where I slipped and sliced loads of skin off. Makes me feel sick thinking about it now!

Precipice · 21/05/2023 14:13

And if she feels self-conscious about other parts of her body, what will you do? If it's her nose, offer a nose job, if it's a conviction that she's not slim enough, diet pills?

If your DS felt similarly self-conscious, would you remove his leg hair too?

BeautifulJames · 21/05/2023 14:13

I think once they start to notice these things, try to assist with it. When I was my mum downright refused, and I was bullied for ages until I tried to shave myself. I don't see the harm in it

Original poster
PolkaDotMankini · 21/05/2023 14:17

I'd Veet DS's legs too if that's what he wanted. A couple of his friends get their armpits waxed! He's not really hit puberty yet but is keen to have a hairy chest. Apparently this will make him very manly...

OP posts:
RightWhereYouLeftMe · 21/05/2023 14:19

Precipice · 21/05/2023 14:13

And if she feels self-conscious about other parts of her body, what will you do? If it's her nose, offer a nose job, if it's a conviction that she's not slim enough, diet pills?

If your DS felt similarly self-conscious, would you remove his leg hair too?

🙄 there's a big difference between some veet and a nose job

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