To Veet 10yo DD's legs?

[PolkaDotMankini]

As the title says, DD is 10. Although the weather's been getting warmer, she's been reluctant to wear shorts. She told me last week that she felt self-conscious about her hairy legs. It's true that her lower legs are quite hairy, but they're fine blonde hairs (and she's 10!). I've never made any comments about them but she's aware that I shave my legs.

She asked if I could shave her legs. I explained the options: shaving or Veet. She liked the sound of Veet so I did her legs for her this morning. She loves how they look and feel and went out for the day in a skirt.

I think I did the right thing but I just can't help feeling like she's too young.

YABU - she's too young
YANBU - you did the right thing

Morally fine. Skin - I'd be careful

Be careful with the scrubby mitts. They worked really well at first gif me but now leave a horrible itchy/burning rash.

all the ‘too young’ commenters, what is the right age? I’d say if a young girl feels self conscious by something very easily sorted then help her out. I am really hairy (my dad had dark skin and loads of dark body hair) I was bullied but my mum just didn’t understand as she has very sparse light body hair. She has never shaved her legs or plucked her eyebrows, she will shave her underarms every so often. I envy her!

Yea please let her use very on her legs. My mum never had much body hair and was very blonde so it didn't show easily. In comparison I had a lot of very thick very dark brown hairs on my legs and my underarms. My mum wouldn't let me shave them or anything. I was bullied for this and was very self conscious. It wasn't until my ballet show at the age of 13 that she allowed me to shave. And that was only because my ballet teacher told her that I wouldn't be allowed on stage showing my underarm hair (which seems a bit harsh) but thankfully worked. I remember her pulling me aside and saying that I had to shave my underarms before the show and I burst into tears saying my mum wouldn't let me. I had been covering up my legs with trousers and tights as I was so embarrassed.

My friend has recently let her 10 year old shave her legs as she was really unhappy plus she looks much older than she is.

It's fine as she asked you to help her with it, but it's not good that women in general still feel that body hair is a bad thing. Dove advert I am looking at you.

Do we see hair as bad thing though? I don't. I've never seen hair as a bad thing, I've never heard anyone say women must be smooth... My friends growing up very rarely removed leg or underarm hair. I personally feel better when I don't have leg hair or underarm as the sensation of the hair irritates me. But I've never looked at someone with hairy legs and thought "ew they need to shave". It's just my personal preference on my own body!

This was my thought too. It can be quite aggressive stuff and 10-year-old skin can be really sensitive.

Why has it changed then from when you were growing up to now, there are no positive images of body hair on women.

Seriously what sort of mental gymnastics are you doing to make that leap. I started shaving my legs when I was 10, I dont even wear make-up let alone HD brows or eye lash extensions. Hell I hardly ever shave my legs anymore as I cant be bothered.

OP you are showing yourself to be a great mum that your DD can trust to always listen to her concerns and find a way to help her.

DD asked last summer when she was 11, I used wax strips as that seemed the best option. She's only asked once more since, about a month or so ago.
I promised myself I'd let her whatever age she asked and not make it awkward at all because I found it so hard to ask my mum and suffered for months trying to hide my legs in pe lessons.

I think you did the right thing , i have 2 adult boys and 1 teenage girl and i have always been of the opinion that if something about their appearance is bothering them that i can help them with then i will.
We don't discuss appearance much other than to laugh at todays ridiculous ideas about trout lips ,eyebrows ,fillers etc
Life has enough challenges and if you can do something small that helps your child's confidence that's great and nobody else's business.

I totally agree with this.

I also think it's really great if kids feel able to discuss these issues with their parents...better than them feeling embarrassed. When I go food shopping, when we reach the toiletries section of the supermarket, I always say to my kids, anything you want or need just grab and chuck in the trolley..

I really don't agree with people saying she's too young.

Surely whatever age a girl starts having to contend with unwanted leg hair that's making her uncomfortable is the right age to be able to remove it, not some arbitrary number of years old.

Would people say "she's too young" to do whatever else she needs to do in dealing with puberty? "Too young for a bra", if she needs one. "Too young for tampons" if her periods start?

Fine to remove her hair if she was self conscious about it! I wouldn't use Veet though.. horrible chemical which are absorbed by your skin. I'd get her one of the little travel shavers (that have the rotating bit rather than a blade) which she use herself with no risk of cutting herself.

I was removing underarm hair by 10 and my dd was removing her leg hair by that age too. Shock horror- she was tweezing her eyebrows at 10 as kids at school had pointed out her uni brow.

It's not fair that women are under this pressure but it's not up to my dd to stand up to that ingrained attitude either.

i have always been of the opinion that if something about their appearance is bothering them that i can help them with then i will

Really? If their nose was bothering them, would you get them a nose job? Bothered by small breasts...implants? Highlights, liposuction, diets, mastectmoies and sex changes,,,would you help them change all that?

I suspect you have boundaries like the rest of us, and they aren't very different in reality...

By the sounds of it this helped her self esteem. Did you miss that bit?

What a shame she thinks she needs to do this at age 10.

Momentarily, perhaps. But what she learned is to change her body to fit in with percieved cultural norms. At ten? Too young for that.
Far better to have improved her real self esteem.

Yes this. No judgement on your choice op we each have to do what will help our kids the best we can and it's so hard to know what will be best. But so sad, and to me not at all 'normal' that bodies aren't beautiful in their natural state to 10 year olds.

Oh stop it. Bothered by your leg hair, I can help with this immediately painlessly and with no lasting effects because I have some veet in the back of the bathroom cupboard because like most other females I remove my body hair. Whack it on, wait 5 mins and shower it off and the hair will have grown back within a week. That’s totally the same as let’s find a plastic surgeon specialising in rhinoplasty, go for a consult, come back, pay £1000s, go under general anaesthetic, have a painful recovery and your face will be permanently altered.

Can you not do both? I have great self esteem. I still choose to shave my legs when they are on show. Why shouldn't other girls and women remove their body hair if they prefer to have it removed?

I agree that the issue is broader than just this poor girl feeling embarrassed to be a human and feeling pressured to remove leg hair, but is part of a broader issue of 'femininity'/'beauty' expectations pushed onto women, sure.

And not even "I am hairy, that's better" but "I want to force other women and girls to be hairy too or I will judge them and their mothers"

I shaved my legs from 10, so did my mum, both used borrowed razors. My DD has shown no interest, I would go for waxing, hot waxing as that veet is full of horrible chemicals

If your DS wanted a hair cut, would you insist his hair was left to grow as nature intended, and just hacked off at the ends when it became impractical? Or would it only be your DDs choices about her appearance you'd control?