To Veet 10yo DD's legs?

[PolkaDotMankini]

As the title says, DD is 10. Although the weather's been getting warmer, she's been reluctant to wear shorts. She told me last week that she felt self-conscious about her hairy legs. It's true that her lower legs are quite hairy, but they're fine blonde hairs (and she's 10!). I've never made any comments about them but she's aware that I shave my legs.

She asked if I could shave her legs. I explained the options: shaving or Veet. She liked the sound of Veet so I did her legs for her this morning. She loves how they look and feel and went out for the day in a skirt.

I think I did the right thing but I just can't help feeling like she's too young.

YABU - she's too young
YANBU - you did the right thing

I don't think that stopping a girl from something as simple as removing body hair is going to improve her self confidence. I know that personally my mum would have minimised my experience if I told her I was bullied for my leg hair and basically told me I was wrong for being upset by it so I didn't tell her. Maybe the children of those not giving their children autonomy over this feel similar?

I feel quite strongly that if something is bothering a child like that and it can be dealt with easily and with no terrible side effects, then just do it.

She's not too young. I'm in my seventies and started shaving my legs and armpits at her age; I felt very hairy and wanted to be smooth. Puberty was a little way off but seemed round the corner. If shaving is an option she can do it in bath or shower and make sure she has a safety razor.

Veet is OK but make sure she showers afterwards because it smells. Apart from that I always found it messy and itchy but that's me.

OP, I use TikTok a lot and there was a woman who waxed her 5 year olds unibrow. The comments that were against it obviously said it’s bad for her self esteem. But the comments who supported it were the people who had insecurities that they weren’t allowed to do anything about and subsequently got bullied or made their self esteem worse. You’re giving her autonomy and that’s perfectly okay.

I think 10 is far too young to do anything like that. I don't agree with a previous poster who said that most women shave, dye their hair, get their nails done and wear make up. Whilst a large proportion of women undoubtedly do some or all of these things, many many women don't and I don't feel it's right to let a child think it's the norm and to start shaving at such a young age, when they're still in primary school.

As an alternative to shaving/waxing/Veet, what about the buff paper things that buff the hair away? Works really well if the hair is still rather fine
https://www.superdrug.com/toiletries/female-hair-removal/wipes-mitts/superdrug-legs-hair-removal-mitts/p/781287?gclid=CjwKCAjwgqejBhBAEiwAuWHioKRSKNA2RK-ylusMQo28lNYyl5KoQs13zJBpgyIIZ8MSt_MxkaP2phoCHj0QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Whilst a large proportion of women undoubtedly do some or all of these things, many many women don't

Sorry I don't really understand your point. It's OK either way? I don't think either doing or not doing those things is a "norm", it's a very personal decision and everyone is different. I don't think removing leg hair is going to damage the girl, or her self esteem, or her innocence, so can't see anything wrong with it.

It's not that removing leg hair at such a young age is going to damage her self esteem, it's that it is sad that young girls are normalised to feel uncomfortable in their bodies natural form. If a 10 year girl was being bullied because she was flat chested, do you buy a fake bra? Or if she was teased for having thin lips, would you condone some sort of temporary filler/ enhancement? Why not?

As women are very used to feeling that out bodies are wrong, or uncomfortable, or lesser unless they are altered in some way. It just a shame that 10 year olds have to deal with that too, and that the response is not to question why but just to alter the offending bits

I think you are correct OP. My daughter was 11 when she asked to shave her legs. It made me sad but we talked about it in depth (pros and cons) and she decided she wanted to proceed and uses veet. I got her the large pink sensitive one with a pump. Saying parents should work on their kids self esteem and they are too young is really disingenuous to the struggles pre teens go through and I have to say it makes me sad. On a side note removing body hair is not the same as a fake tan etc, talk about comparing apples to oranges lol

I wouldn't use chemicals but a proper ladydefuzzer would be fine.

Yanbu. I shaved my legs and underarms from 9yrs old (I'm 49 now). The sneery comments used to leave me in tears in school.

I hadn't even thought about an electric shaver or de-fuzzing mitt. I'll have a look.

Pressed YABU by mistake! My daughter started last year at 11 & has been fine. She’s not ready to use a razor yet (her choice but i’ll show her when she wants to) & veet is enough for her just now. If your daughter feels self conscious i think she’s old wnough to understand & you are right to help her

Boys feeling entitled to mock girls'appearance 🙁starting so early as well..your poor daughter..

Poor you. That's so unkind.

I think it’s really sad that ten year olds are already conscious about their appearance in this way.

My daughter is also aged 10 and if she mentioned it and said it upsetting her and wanted to get rid of it then I would absolutely be fine with her doing it.

I think it's fine. My DD was the same only probably a lot more with the hair on her legs as we're Indian so she had really thick black hair. She felt really insecure about it because of kids at her school and I think it was right to let her shave then because it boosted her confidence. Now she only shaves if she wants to so it's become HER choice, something she does for herself rather than others.

I do have to add that part of why she feels less insecure is because she's at an inclusive all girls school now and majority of the comments in primary were from boys so that has defo helped her confidence. While body hair is normal but there isn't any point in forcing your kid to be unhappy - just keep assuring her its her body and she can do what she likes, whether that's shaving it off or keeping it.

I didn’t care at all about my very hairy legs when I was 11 or 12, until my equally hairy-legged best friend’s 5 brothers took the piss out of us, then suddenly it mattered hugely. Haven’t shaved ‘em for the last 30 years because (I reckon) a lifetime of wearing really tight jodhpurs rubbed all the hairs away!

It's fine. I started shaving my legs around that age as I was hairy young.

DD is 11 and wants to shave her legs and underarms now, she says she gets embarrassed with the hair. So I’ve got her a razor and have shown her how to use it carefully. I think it’s really common to feel like they do at this age, and DD hasn’t seen me shaving or anything, it’s something I do very infrequently nowadays! But I remember feeling the same at her age, or maybe a little older.

I Veet my armpits a couple of times each summer, because I do prefer them hairless in sleeveless dresses/tops. The effect lasts much longer than shaving.

It's so hard to put yourself back in the shoes of a kid.

When I was a kid my DM wouldn't let me shave until long after my peers were and I was turning inside out with embarrassment.

Now I'm grown I barely ever remove any body hair but it took a long while to get there. Much as I'd love all women to not feel embarrassed by their own hair it would be unfair to make her a target for teasing.