To think my (ex)manager was too harsh?

[cocunut]

Sorry for the long post, don't want to drip feed. Tonight I got sent home from my minimum wage hospitality job. I recently started working evenings and weekends to get some extra money (no kids of my own but I'm an early years teacher for context as to why I'm on here).

I've not worked in hospitality for a few years but started this job a few weeks ago and have really enjoyed it so far. All my colleagues are lovely, studenty types, and I thought the managers were lovely too until tonight.

I basically f**ked up big time with a hygiene breach. My colleague messed up an order for a table and the kitchen were getting food out as quickly as they could. I wasn't sure exactly what each table had ordered as they weren't in my section but long story short I took the wrong food to the wrong table. No biggie, I thought, and the customers hadn't touched the food as it had been down for about 10 seconds, when I realised it was the wrong order. I quickly picked the food back up and ran it to the next table over. Thought nothing of it.

My manager basically pulled me aside and told me what I'd done was unacceptable and I should've taken the food back to the kitchen and got them to remake the dishes (again, as my colleague had messed them up already). Another manager came and said the same thing, at this point I'm feeling quite ganged up on and said "Okay, I'm really sorry. I've apologised to everyone, Bollocking accepted, can I just get back to my tables now."

At this point I'm told to "just clock out". I'm honestly gutted as I'm still on probation and it was a genuine error of judgement with the food. I was just stood there trying not to burst into tears as I clocked out. I said "see you next week" to which I got no response and I'm about 90% certain they won't have me back.

Did I seriously fuck up that badly, or was my manager just being harsh?

You're behaving like a petulant child, again.

On a side note, who orders boiled potato's as a side!

As I’m sure you know as you have experience in the hospitality industry tips are split between all the staff on duty including those in the kitchen. The tips from those 8 tables go into the ‘Tronk’ and are shared out at the end of service. They are not yours.

I am wondering what would have happened if there had been a hygiene inspection taking place when all this was going on.

Tbh they were quite nice-looking rosemary new potatoes so I can't judge on that! 😂

Well, no, they don't necessarily do that at all.

There are 3 options for tips. One of which means you keep your own tips.

If anyone is disrespectful to me I'll be disrespectful back, whether it's online or in person.

Then hospitality is not the career for you. Nor is teaching or health or child care.

There are many, many work situations where a trained professional needs to maintain adult self-control .

The problem is that you DID still need to take on board a raft of information that you apparently still didn't know when you started this thread.

1. Don't pick up food if you don't know where it's going, leave it on the hot plate while you find out
2. Don't put down food that isn't for a table because of allergic reaction risk
3. Don't pass food between tables; staff must not work with norovirus and learn hygiene requirements, the same is not true of customers
4. Restaurants can get large fines for ignoring basic hygiene
5. It's rude and dismissive to describe a manager correcting you on errors as "a bollocking"
6. Failing to listen to a manager only because of their age is prejudiced and unacceptable.

The issue isn't even the original error and it certainly isn't to do with being autistic, the issue is that you decided not to listen to what your manager was telling you because you think she is too young and you were being rude to her instead. It really would help you in future for you to take on board that you need enough humility in early days at a job that you are learning, and therefore to listen to what you are being told. Shown active listening by asking questions if you don't understand e.g. "in very sorry, can you explain what I ought to have done please so that I know for next time." There are a lot of other hospitality jobs out there and you'll get one easily, but even if you don't like a manager you will have to learn to be polite if you'd like to keep a job.

I've said multiple times this has nothing to do with allergies, which obviously are taken very seriously by myself and hopefully all hospitality workers!!

Food hygeine regulations and public safety are about far MORE issues than food allergies.

YABVU. You were rude, dismissive and flippant, and you’re trying to use the autism get out card for your poor behaviour.

I am wondering what would have happened if there had been a hygiene inspection taking place when all this was going on.

In any busy place serving/selling food you can bet your boots a fair number of the customers

A) are trained and qualified in food safety standards and regulations via their own workplace/ experience

B) notice blatant infringements , know exactly how dangerous they can be to public health; and watch what happens next.

C) Management knows that if they don't instantly take corrective action, there's a high risk one or more of those informed observers WILL notify Environmental Health... and if that happens, the place could be shut down pending investigation.

Minimum wage is £10.18-10.40 if you're over 21.

Topping up wages with tips is illegal in the UK.

@WoollyRosebud I always kept my own tips working in hospitality. Was never asked to share them.

I wonder if OP is a bit younger than she wants to admit.

The manager likely stressed the point because she could tell you weren’t taking it seriously when the supervisor told you. Not only is she in charge of you, but she’s also responsible for you. Your fuck ups reflect on her, and when it comes to extremely important issues like food health and safety she needs to be able to say she did her job correctly, and didn’t just leave it to the supervisor to deal with.

Environmental health can do surprise inspections, and customers talk/leave reviews. A bad reputation can be established quickly, and can be difficult to recover from. You wouldn’t be told however that it was a big deal, as if you have the authority to decide what is. No manager or business is going to put up with that, they would be utterly foolish if they did.

Some posters are assuming that you’re in the right because they’ve known incompetent and rude managers, as if they’ve never encountered rude and incompetent wait staff before. We haven’t seen what the manager’s attitude actually was, but we have seen the attitude you have displayed. If that’s what she was dealing with then she reacted appropriately.

I think you definitely said the wrong thing in your response to manager 2 but equally I can see why you did. If you want the job I'd call and ask to speak to her and say you're sorry if your response was misinterpreted (a way of apologising based on the facts rather than based on grovelling which I fully appreciate you won't want to do). You weren't being disrespectful you were stressed out because you didn't want other customers to have a poor experience because you were delayed in serving them and were worrying about your tables. You hope she doesn't think badly of you based on this one error.

Agree with others though that there are no doubt plenty of other jobs around and life is too short to deal with people you can't stand. So if you're feeling aggrieved enough over this that you don't want the job then take the initiative and bin them off first.

I think you might need an attitude adjustment. It doesn't matter if you think the manager is young or inexperienced. They are still in charge of you if you want to carry on working there. If you are told off, listen to what they say even if you disagree with it, apologise and say it won't happen again. You should look regretful when doing this. Your behaviour was rude. I realise autistic people sometimes do not get social cues and can unknowingly be rude. I knew one person who during a telling off kept looking at their watch. They simply didn't realise it was rude.

YABU - you weren't sent home because of the mistake, you were sent home because of your attitude following your mistake.

I haven't worked in hospitality for years but even I know that the second you walk away from an item you have put on a table, you cannot then take it to another table. If you literally put it down and someone says "I didn't order this" or you are still at the table then it's no issue to move it to the right table, but once it has left your sight, even for a second, then it needs to be wasted.

I work in a pharmacy and we have the same rules - if someone takes their prescription bag and immediately opens it at the counter, or takes a couple of steps away but is visible to me who is serving the next customer, and says "Oh the doctor has given me XYZ again but I don't need them any more, here have them back" then we are allowed to return the items to our stock as the items haven't left our custody, however if they so much as take the 5 steps away from the counter to a point where they are just out of our sight, even just for a second, then we have to waste the items as we can no longer guarantee that the items haven't been compromised in any way. Seeing the amount of things that have to be thrown away is heartbreaking but it is not worth the risk.

It sounds like in your case the manager overheard at least part of the supervisor telling you off and observed that either your attitude/words/body language seemed dismissive or minimising and so they decided to step in to reiterate the point to try and ensure you understood the seriousness of your actions. At this point most people would say something like "Yes, Supervisor has just explained that to me and I've apologised. I wasn't aware of this rule, I'm sorry and it won't happen again" but instead you went down the stroppy and sarcastic route that again made it sound like you were minimising the issue as well as being rude and disrespectful.

The fact you think that a 26yo who has possibly spent the last 10 years working their way up to management in hospitality can't possibly know better than you because you're the same age is just disrespectful. At 27 I was working abroad as a teacher as my day job but I also worked for an English tutoring company who ran 15 teen English immersion summer camps at venues across Spain throughout the summer and I was the Summer camp program director. I had started as a camp counselor at 18, by 21 I had progressed to activity coordinator at one specific venue, by 24 had moved to being the program coordinator at one venue, by 26 had moved up to being assistant program director overseeing the logistics of all the camps and then at 27 I had the role myself ... Meanwhile there were 27yos on staff who were either doing their first year as a counselor or were people I had worked with on camp few years before who were still counselors whilst I had moved up through the ranks to be their ultimate boss (there were more important people in the company hierarchy but I was in charge of the whole summer program)

If I was your manager I would have sent you home too as I would not want to have someone on shift who doesn't appear to be taking food hygiene seriously and who was disrespectful to the management team when they were pulled up on a H&S breach.

Goodness this escalated. Now they were shouting at you, treating you terribly. I don’t know if you’re just going over board as you didn’t like the answers as you’re also over exaggerating the responses on here, who said you don’t deserve employment, you’re also lashin out and saying you’re being disrespected when you are not.

is this thread another example of how you cannot take criticism?

Update on this guys:
Have been officially sacked via text; no reason given. Upon asking the reason (as i am entitled to know as per my contract), the GM (a lovely guy) rang me and explained that it was more to do with my availability, however he took what happened on Saturday on board too. He didn't really hear me out and kind of fobbed me off saying they were "a close knit team" and "weren't really planning on taking on new staff".
I am still of the opinion that I was treated unfairly by the shift manager and my contract states that I should have received a written warning before any disciplinary action was taken.
I am waiting on written confirmation from the GM before I decide to take action against the manager via HR.

What action? You're on probation right?

If you're on probation then it's not disaplinary action.

I think the issue is that your "apology" didn't come off as an apology but as rude and dismissive.

It's not them it's you hun

I reread my contract and their policies and I still should have had a warning even though I'm on probation. The GM was lovely but still didn't really get a straight answer from him. If any of you had heard the tone the manager spoke to me in you would all have this response I promise.

They cited the reason as your availability NOT a disciplinary sacking. You wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

You've also been told multiple times that you're actions put you in the wrong yet you refuse to listen.