To think my (ex)manager was too harsh?

[cocunut]

Sorry for the long post, don't want to drip feed. Tonight I got sent home from my minimum wage hospitality job. I recently started working evenings and weekends to get some extra money (no kids of my own but I'm an early years teacher for context as to why I'm on here).

I've not worked in hospitality for a few years but started this job a few weeks ago and have really enjoyed it so far. All my colleagues are lovely, studenty types, and I thought the managers were lovely too until tonight.

I basically f**ked up big time with a hygiene breach. My colleague messed up an order for a table and the kitchen were getting food out as quickly as they could. I wasn't sure exactly what each table had ordered as they weren't in my section but long story short I took the wrong food to the wrong table. No biggie, I thought, and the customers hadn't touched the food as it had been down for about 10 seconds, when I realised it was the wrong order. I quickly picked the food back up and ran it to the next table over. Thought nothing of it.

My manager basically pulled me aside and told me what I'd done was unacceptable and I should've taken the food back to the kitchen and got them to remake the dishes (again, as my colleague had messed them up already). Another manager came and said the same thing, at this point I'm feeling quite ganged up on and said "Okay, I'm really sorry. I've apologised to everyone, Bollocking accepted, can I just get back to my tables now."

At this point I'm told to "just clock out". I'm honestly gutted as I'm still on probation and it was a genuine error of judgement with the food. I was just stood there trying not to burst into tears as I clocked out. I said "see you next week" to which I got no response and I'm about 90% certain they won't have me back.

Did I seriously fuck up that badly, or was my manager just being harsh?

I agree that those replies are harsh, but they're also very much in the minority. Most people have tried to explain what OP should have done instead, but she didn't seem to want to hear it.

So what did the actual scolding/bollocking consist of @cocunut? All I've seen is that you were told what you did isn't acceptable?
Unless you argued or stropped straight away, can't see why this would rumble on?

It was basically a repetition of the words "completely unacceptable", "we don't do that here", "I'm your manager listen to me", I cannot exactly remember but it was more the tone than anything. It seemed as if she was more intent on telling me off than actually telling me how to rectify the situation.

My patience tends to wear thin after speaking to three year olds all day I suppose

forgot what cnts hospitality managers can be sometimes*

No THEY were rude ignoring me while carrying a hot bowl!!

This woman is roughly the same age as me. Who tf told her she can speak to people like that?

Had I chosen to stay in hospitality full time, I could also be doing her job

I hope every time one of you lot who agree with the manager attempt to go out for a meal, the service is slow and the staff are miserable

The more you post the worse you sound! Your attitude stinks, you sound immature, rude and dismissive but you refuse to accept it’s your attitude that’s the issue.

I also don't see why it rumbled on either! After the supervisor spoke to me I felt a bit daft cos I knew I'd fucked up but I took it on the chin and carried on. But when I was then given the same talk with the manager except in quite a derogatory tone, then told to clock out and go home, that was when I kind of went into shock cos I just wasn't expecting that from what I previously thought was a simple mistake.

I now understand the possible severity of said mistake from some of the (albeit harsh!) responses on here. However being told x/y/z job isn't right for me is completely unnecessary and downright mean, as PP have also said.

You have been clearly told that your attitude was the problem and you've instead gone on to get more and more abrasive and use more attitude, being ruder and refusing to listen to what has been said.

The fact you can't see how leaving a plate unattended on a table is an allergy risk, and seem rather dismissive, doesn't help.

All of my direct managers/supervisors are younger than me. I have different experience to them, including not always agreeing with their ways. But I wouldn't be rude to them the way you were. And I'm suspecting that your body language and facial expressions conveyed this more than your words (with the understanding you are Autistic so might not be aware... but again, if you don't inform them officially of being Autistic then you can't expect that to be taken into account).

I'm simply responding in the same tone as everyone else on here! If anyone is disrespectful to me I'll be disrespectful back, whether it's online or in person.

Hopefully staff will have clean hands etc whereas you've no idea about customers.

I didn't mean it to be rude so I apologise. I just think if you're getting stressed out after your job then maybe a different job would be better? I know I'd be rubbish as a nurse for example or in a health care setting. Or in an airport.

@marshmallowmatcha yes that's probably something I could take on board. At the moment my priority is finding hours that work around all my other committments as I'm juggling a lot at the moment. Appreciate the advice.

When it's your business and the responsibility/success of the whole business lies at your feet it is a big deal and when staff act like it isn't, you have issues immediately. I agree with other posters, it's not the mistake it was your response and also your attitude towards it that is more concerning, and the lack of respect towards the managers who may be responsible for the place as a whole and or the owners who have invested time, effort and money in the business. they are the ones that have to answer to the powers that be and pay massive fines if a customer did decide to push it.

But when I was then given the same talk with the manager except in quite a derogatory tone, then told to clock out and go home, that was when I kind of went into shock cos I just wasn't expecting that from what I previously thought was a simple mistake.

I don't think you were told to clock out and go home because you made a mistake. You were sent home because of how you responded to your manager.

I see where you're coming from - you feel like you'd already apologised so that should have been the end of it, and you resented being spoken to a second time. Believe me, I get it, it feels horribly unfair, but sometimes you do just have to sit there and "take it" to an extent - there's rarely anything to be gained from answering back to a manager, especially when you're new to the job and haven't 'proven yourself' so to speak.

It's often better to save the ranting for when you get home or for when you're alone - I used to rant to myself in the car on the way home from work on a regular basis

Nobody I know in the real world would have an issue with what you did. It has happened to me in a restaurant before - as a customer - and I didn't bat an eyelid.

Yes its tricky with the hours isn't it. Anyway once again apologise if I came across harsher than intended. I have issues with communication too! All the best.

What you actually should have done was pick up the food and take it back to the kitchen.

I think you probably seemed dismissive when reprimanded, hence the going on and on - you were mentally like 'yep got it, won't happen again' and they were mentally like 'she has no idea how big of a deal this is' so kept going in an attempt to really make it clear it's a big deal.

Manager repeating the bollocking may have been a power trip or may have felt necessary - both are definitely possible. Management is not just about earning more, having more experience/knowledge and vaguely 'being in charge', it's also about taking responsibility for what your team do, so she will have felt/been under pressure to ensure that your dangerous mistake was never, ever repeated.

I've worked in hospitality, retail, and other more 'professional' (as in overwhelmingly degree-qualified) environments. I agree there are some particularly unpleasant things about hospitality, not least the pay, but IME being told off by two different managers for the same serious error is not an 'only in hospitality' thing at all.

Possibly the manager has a degree in hotel and catering.

I wonder if either of the two tables concerned left a tip or asked for the service charge to be removed from the bill?

Have you heard of the saying " the customer is always right". In that situation, you needed to ask again or go and check the ticket again, before putting the food on the table?

Hm, @WoollyRosebud , i also wonder if any of the 8 tables in my section whom I'd been serving all night before I was made to leave also left a tip which should've gone to me...
obvs I'd feel a bit bad if anyone missed out because of me but I'm not convinced they will.

@RedHelenB I struggle with the customer is always right because they're bloody not 😂 I won't adhere to a phrase which simply isn't true. However I do try my best to accommodate everyone (except when my fingers are burning!)

Yes that makes sense tbh, I've never worked in management nor do I have any desire to whatsoever. I may not go far in my career with this outlook but my career will never ever be my number 1 priority.

So NONE of the 8 tables in your section left a tip?

You can think they're wring to yourself, moan about them behind their backs but if you're in a service industry you have to suck it up. If your fingers were burning, then you should have a cloth to carry it with, or put them on a plate.

@MichelleScarn I was sent home before they'd finished their desserts so who knows whether they did or not. I served all of them for the vast majority of the night.

. I've worked in hospitality on and off since my early teens (I'm in my early 20s now).

Then you should have been aware its a minefield of food hygeine safety regulations.

Or at the very least, you should know this about employer/ employee relations in hospitality.

A) Your bosses know the hygeine/safety regulations better than you do

B) Bosses absolutely CANNOT allow them to be breached in full view of the public.

C) when you fuck up, take a telling.