To think this is an awful way to treat teenagers - sports teams

[pinotnow]

I have just had 16 year old ds in tears as he has spent the day, pretty much the whole day, with his cricket team and didn't bowl or bat the whole entire time. Apparently he fielded in a crap position too (can't remember the term he used because cricket is full of fucking stupid terms no one understands) and feels like he may as well not have been there. He's never been much of a crier and it has been heart-breaking to see him so upset and now I'm really fucking angry.

I completely understand that if others are better than him they're going to get more overs or whatever. I'm not suggesting he should have a turn at opening the batting. But would it really be such a fucking disaster for this fourth team if someone not quite as good as someone else who's probably not all that bowled a couple of overs?? Really? Would the earth stop turning if that happened? He says he played well last week and took a wicket so why nothing this week?

AIBU to think this is really shitty, especially with 16 year olds? DS has had exams all week and looked forward to this as a break and now it has left him feeling shit. Thank fuck his exams went well others god knows what state he would be in. If anyone/anyone's dh captains a team of this sort and can explain to me why this is any way ok I'd love to hear it. At least this match was only a 20 minute drive away. We've had it in the past where we've driven well over an hour for similar to happen. I wish ex had never got him in to cricket (just to take little to no interest in how he does for most of the time).

@pinotnow - you appear to have a massive chip on your shoulder OP. You've been rude about cricketing terms & people who drive Mercs. Your child is 16, they will know this is how cricket works. They should try a different sport if it's causing so much grief.

That's how sports are here for children past about 11, yes but if we had a shift in culture in this country around the purpose of team sports for teenagers, where the focus is on enjoyment not winning, then put in that context the OP's thoughts on this are both progressive, valid ones and demonstrates why so many teens get turned off from sports all together!

Scandinavian countries have this right, team sports do not have these barriers at a young age as sport is considered important for the emotional and physical health of the teenager, we need to think why we have such a huge problem with teen mental health and overweight children that become overweight adults.

Honestly it sounds like he's having a stressful time with GCSEs etc and I wouldn't underestimate the impact finishing that section of school has on teens. If he enjoys cricket overall then I'm sure next week will be better, the team is what it is and if he feels it causes more hurt than enjoyment he can leave and find something else to do.

Cricket is one of those strange games - you can spend an entire morning in some part of the field and the ball never comes your way. So you just watch the action. Then your team gets to bat and you could never even get to bat.

But that's the game.

There are plenty of other sports available to do that he may enjoy more.

You're personally offended because I find terms like 'silly mid-off,' 'cow corner,' 'googly,' 'square leg,' are a bit daft? Ok. And as for the Mercs, it isn't great when people join a local team they have no interest in, learn no one's names and dominate the teams. They can afford loads of one-to-one coaching as well. I have nothing against Merc drivers in general, but if it has touched a nerve with you because you too drive a Merc and are a bit rude, then I'm sorry.

I think cricket it still a game for the privileged and it's not one I would have chosen for ds in retrospect but ex was the driving force in that.

Poor lad.

No one needs a life lesson in the midst of their GCSES ffs, it is perfectly understandable to be gutted over how the day went.

Sometimes this happens in usually good sports teams when the regular coach is not there. If that’s not the case I would just message them and let them know you are not complaining but giving them heads up about how demoralised DS was afterwards which isn’t great during GCSE time. In future if they could make it clearer who will be playing and who will be on the bench that would make life a bit easier.

Yes OP, this is how Cricket works, if he doesn't like it, move on to another team sport where he will find as a teenager all the same barriers - talent, class, money will also be stopping him from taking part! 🙄

right, adults, how would YOU feel if you gave up a whole day of your weekend, in the middle of a frenzy at work you had been preparing for for two years, and you got NOTHING back?

OP this is a case where adults expect kids to suck up treatment they’d never put up w themselves.

poor kid. Life lesson in unfairness perhaps, but he doesn’t need to be having that lesson mid-GCSEs!

TBF - if he has played cricket for some time, he should have realised that this is what cricket is like.

It isn't just Cricket though, it is what pretty much all sport is like for children 12 onwards. It is completely inaccessible for many.

In a way that music and Art and drama is not. You can play an instrument for fun for example there is no cut off point. My DS at 11 was a pretty good football player and went along to be on the school team but he didn't qualify to play in the team as it had the best children to choose from and that was the end of that at 11! He plays now at 16 at lunchtime and after school on the park but anything more official was not open to him past 11 at the school- it is absolutely ridiculous!

In football, rugby, hockey - people get to actively take part. Tackling people, defending, hitting, running with a ball. In cricket, you can spend the whole day without even touching the ball.

@pinotnow - no I don't drive a Merc. But I do know a fair bit about cricket. I'm a cricket daughter and a cricket mother. So I've spent a lot of summer days watching the game. And if it's not right for your son, it's not right. It's not a game where everyone can 'have a turn'. Cricketing terms are what they are & they aren't 'fucking stupid' to cricketers. And I don't often learn people's names, I'm there to watch the game.

Exactly, you are an adult, you are better at processing the rejection and presumably you are not sitting your GCSEs! What is wrong with wanting children to take part in 'all' sports not just accepting being written off at such a young age. Some compassion and understanding from the adults wouldn't have been too much to ask.

Lots of adult cricket players give up their whole day and never get a bat or bowl ... that's cricket. Many people commenting on this thread clearly have no idea how cricket is played .... I didn't until my DS got very involved, now I can follow it & understand some of the rules.
I hope he gets over his disappointment and perseveres, as I said earlier my DS loves cricket and it has been a fantastic sport for him. It is tough to get into and I can understand the 'elitist' feel about it as few state schools have the facilities for coaching cricket.

I'm not taking about what the sports individually entail, I'm discussing how inaccessible most team sports are in this country post 11years old! The culture is not inclusive and the prize is winning not enjoyment so many kids just don't play organised sports past 11.

Are there any other clubs he could play for? DS had a choice of a number of clubs locally and would probably be playing 2nd team at the original club he started with but because the club plays top level club cricket ( often using local county players) it has a bit of a toxic environment and no real social side). He travels 40mins to play at his best mates club who are exactly the opposite. The social side is probably as important as the cricket and the two teams are made up of mainly young farmers and school kids with a few olds goldies. The oldies realised that the only way for the club to go forward was to make it fun. I think the average age is about 22, which is great for the club.
They take their cricket very seriously, are incredibly supportive of the younger members and welcome new members. They don’t encourage diva like behaviour.
I think DS would have given up playing if he hadn’t changed clubs. It was worth the travelling to see him blossom as a player and socially.

totally agree with this. It’s the nature of cricket as a game.

This is not a teenager team sport issue.

This is literally how cricket works.

It takes hours to play and the nature of thr game means that in a match you might not get to do much.

It's a peculiar quirk of cricket.

If he doesn't enjoy the standing in a field all day aspect then cricket is not for him.

He could try tennis or other sports

It isn't just Cricket though, it is that extra level of inaccessibility due to the elite nature of it but all popular team sports are inaccessible past 11 as the mindset is one that is reflected on here, you have to be the best to take part and tough shit if you are not, move on and go and play table tennis or netball!

And there's a specific issue about whether team sports encourage teenagers to play in general.

But in this case this is literally just a quirk of the oddity of cricket.

Professional players can go to foreign countries to play and still not really get to so anything if the game plays out in a specific way.

I run several colts cricket teams and whilst we have A teams we always ensure we enter B teams for those less able to ensure everyone gets a game firstly as that's how it should be but also so they can progress into adult cricket at some level.

Adult cricket is a quite different. We have several teams at our club and the lowest team is used to develop the colts and to ensure weaker adult players or much older players get a game. If there was someone who wasn't good enough then we would make sure they are spoken to as safety is obviously the most important thing and they wouldn't be able to be included but if they were able to play then we would ensure that they got some sort of game. If you're talking about a 4th team they are likely not in a high league and it's not a massive ask for someone selected to get a couple of overs out of 40 to 50 overs. Batting is always tricky as you can't predict who will bat. It's very rare that someone in a 4th team wouldn't get any sort of game if they are playing, the games are around 6/7 hrs long!

It is clear that there are many people of this post who don't understand cricket at all and how it all works. Its very different from most other sports and has to be managed very differently.