11 month old in restaurant

[Anoushkaka]

So I know things have changed with parenting since I had my own children, youngest is now 11 but do some parents literally just let their kids to what they want?

Went for a meal yesterday with DH and our children. A couple come in with their baby and get seated near us. Highchair is brought over and they put him in but don't strap him in because he doesnt like to be strapped in, mother said this to waitress. They order food and literally plonk a bowl of mash, veg and gravy on the highchair for baby to eat. He puts his hands straight in and starts feeding himself with his hands, food is going everywhere, patents are looking at him and saying "what a great boy he is".

Baby literally has food everywhere, parents make a half hearted attempt to clean baby which results in an almighty tantrum and him nearly falling out of the highchair because he wasn't strapped in. Dessert comes and the same thing with a bowl of ice cream, its everywhere. They then give him a sippy cup that spills all over him because obviously its not one for his age group.

He screams to get out of highchair, father takes him out and let's him bang cutlery on the table, pull soil from a nearby plant pot and again spill water everywhere. All the parents kept saying to staff was ,"oh sorry, he is just so independent and clever for his age".

I was appalled to be honest. I spoke to my friend who is a childminder and stressed that yes unfortunately a lot of parents are now like this.

I’m not sure why a bit of plant soul annoys you so much ?? Nothing of what the op describes seems unnatural in any way for a 11 month old apart from the banging cutlery

You have been consistently rude and nasty towards Pianolo. It is unpleasant to read and really isn't showing you in a good light. You're coming across very badly and for your own sake should stop posting. It's becoming embarassing.

I’m not sure why a bit of plant soul annoys you so much ?? Nothing of what the op describes seems unnatural in any way for a 11 month old apart from the banging cutlery
Because many parents wouldn't allow their 11 month old to tip food and water everywhere, and certainly wouldn't allow their child to be pulling at plants somewhere when out.

I let mine pull at plants in our garden. It's developmentally appropriate curiosity. They didn't do it when out and about because they were 10-12 months and lacking impulse control so as their parent I prevented them doing it.

Just like they might have had more messy BLW meals at home, but as the parent I chose not to order them jugs of gravy in a cafe for them to tip and smush everywhere.

Have you got ANY sense of humour?

You’ll have to stop being so sensible @LolaSmiles, you’re going to confuse the heck out of the parents on this thread.

There are parents with varying opinions on this thread. I more or less did what Lolasmiles described, though my youngest was born in a lockdown and didn’t go to restaurants until much older (it didn’t actually make any difference - they behaved in a restaurant at 2yo just as my other two did at the same age despite having had less experience)

So if you visited someone's house the plants are fair game?

@HopesMama32

this!

@Nothingisblackandwhite

so you would be happy for a parent to bring a young paper round to yours then and uproot all your plants and chuck soil everywhere??

I certainly would not be this offended ! I have 3 kids ! I know they do all sorts . I traveled half of the world with mine , visited a lot of restaurants from posh restaurants to mc Donald’s . If people are bothered about a child crying ir making a mess stay home , just don’t expect others to do it simply because you hate kids

fitzwilliamdarcy
Common sense and courtesy is something that blows some people's minds.

Heaven forbid the adults make decisions that set their children up for success, whilst also being adults in the damn room and taking some responsibility.

All this hating children rubbish makes me laugh. Expecting parents to be the grownups who know how to behave with courtesy has nothing to do with hating children. It's hardly the children's fault they have parents who haven't a clue how to show basic consideration to others. It's also not the children's fault that their parents are choosing not to set them up for success in public places.

@LolaSmiles I used to believe that most parents try their best and are considerate of others… and then I joined MN! 😂

@Nothingisblackandwhite

erm, not wanting your plants upended and soil everywhere does not mean you hate kids

Most parents are though. You’re only seeing a subset of parents on MN, it would be silly to think they represent the majority.

I used to believe that most parents try their best and are considerate of others… and then I joined MN!
🤣
I still think most do their best and are considerate, but if you have a situation where you're left thinking "wtf is going on there" then they're probably on Mumsnet ready to defend inconsiderate and unreasonable behaviour.

Particularly because anyone can say any old shit on here.

My 10 month old is judging you. This could be her, minus the lack of strapping in and the tantrum. But she eats with her hands and bangs her cutlery around. We probably won't try to teach table manners until she understands the concepts of tables, manners etc

@Nothingisblackandwhite I have two children. I both love them and like them very much. I enjoy spending time with them. I'm also a teacher, a career I chose because, you know, I like children.

It's such typical, lazy, entitled parenting to peddle out the "you must hate kids" line when those of us who choose to parent effectively and with consideration to others then object to a meal out being spoiled by parents, who choose to parent selfishly and completely ineffectually, who allow their children to chuck food around and generally run riot.

Let me spell it out: restaurants are a public place where it is not socially acceptable to throw food or chuck soil. No doubt you also find it acceptable for your children to run around disturbing others. This isn't ok either. Your home is where this behaviour is ok. Not public places.

This entitled nonsense is what has led to a generation where too many children find it appropriate to behave however they see fit, regardless of the impact on others, to answer adults back and have little to no respect for anybody, because they've been brought up by adults who believe that we can't expect anything more from children (how sad, because children are capable of so much) and that anybody who has high expectations for their children or who expects parents to remove their children from a social setting if they aren't able to behave appropriately, so that others are not overly disturbed must hate children.

I believe in effective, responsible, considerate parenting. I don't hate children. What utter fucking nonsense.

Couldn’t agree more

The op sound exaggerated and obviously thinks children can only be spoon feed , everything else just seems like her trying to make a dog at the parents . I doubt the parents allowed the toddler to rip plants of the soil or that said toddler did anything apart from spraying a bit of water around . Sorry but nobody apart from a very judgmental person would spend a full meal constantly observing what a toddler was doing .

@Nothingisblackandwhite

i don’t think it sounds exaggerated at all, I’ve seen similar behaviour. It’s hard to not notice it.

That's just nonsense. How are they developmentally delayed?

I don’t think this behaviour is that common, not to the extent that it’s an “epidemic” or a “generation” or whatever. I’ve only ever seen it once or twice, it stands out because it’s unusual. Most parents are being considerate and raising their children accordingly.

If you can't control an 11 month old, I'd hate to be anywhere near you when that child is a teenager!!!

Thank god for some commonsense!!

I don't hate kids; I hate entitled, selfish parents!