Page 13 | 11 month old in restaurant

Anoushkaka · 2023-05-20T13:00:49+00:00

So I know things have changed with parenting since I had my own children, youngest is now 11 but do some parents literally just let their kids to what they want? Went for a meal yesterday with DH and our children. A couple come in with their baby and get seated near us. Highchair is brought over and they put him in but don't strap him in because he doesnt like to be strapped in, mother said this to waitress. They order food and literally plonk a bowl of mash, veg and gravy on the highchair for baby to eat. He puts his hands straight in and starts feeding himself with his hands, food is going everywhere, patents are looking at him and saying "what a great boy he is". Baby literally has food everywhere, parents make a half hearted attempt to clean baby which results in an almighty tantrum and him nearly falling out of the highchair because he wasn't strapped in. Dessert comes and the same thing with a bowl of ice cream, its everywhere. They then give him a sippy cup that spills all over him because obviously its not one for his age group. He screams to get out of highchair, father takes him out and let's him bang cutlery on the table, pull soil from a nearby plant pot and again spill water everywhere. All the parents kept saying to staff was ,"oh sorry, he is just so independent and clever for his age". I was appalled to be honest. I spoke to my friend who is a childminder and stressed that yes unfortunately a lot of parents are now like this.

coxesorangepippin · 20/05/2023 18:27

An 11 month old had a tantrum you say OP! Crikey if you’ve not stopped a child tantrumming by 11 months, what sort of teen are they going to be!

^^

Let them tantrum at home, rather than in the local harvester or wherever

fatsdominospizza · 20/05/2023 18:29

Bluedabadeeba · 20/05/2023 18:11

Oh dear.. I bet this is what judgy people have been saying about our 'atrocious parenting' for the past 2 years. We've never ever lifted a spoon to our toddlers mouth. Yes, even in a restaurant.

Perhaps research the benefits of baby led weaning. Times have changed. The MAIN (somewhat selfish) benefit I have found is that I am ACTUALLY able to eat a mean because I'm not spending time micro managing what he's eating.

The only difference is, that we always clean up so that the space is cleaner than what it was when we arrived. Oh, and no spoon-banging or plant-digging.

And actually, strapping a baby in MASSIVLEY slows down your potential response time in case the infant chokes, no way would I strap him in, especially with a distracting environment and new-ish food.

At least it was veg and gravy, and not some crap Normally found on the kid menu, like chips, beans and a UPF burger/bun. And at least he wasn't plugged into a device.

I wondered what people say about us behind out backs? Most people are usually impressed at his wide variety of food choices and the fact that he can actually feed himself. But that's only to our faces...

Would you let him bang cutlery on the table, pull soil from a nearby plant pot and again spill water everywhere?

fatsdominospizza · 20/05/2023 18:36

I apologise, I see you clean up after you and don't let him do the above. Fair play.

Soz, no glasses on!

SouthLondonMum22 · 20/05/2023 18:37

Bluedabadeeba · 20/05/2023 18:11

Oh dear.. I bet this is what judgy people have been saying about our 'atrocious parenting' for the past 2 years. We've never ever lifted a spoon to our toddlers mouth. Yes, even in a restaurant.

Perhaps research the benefits of baby led weaning. Times have changed. The MAIN (somewhat selfish) benefit I have found is that I am ACTUALLY able to eat a mean because I'm not spending time micro managing what he's eating.

The only difference is, that we always clean up so that the space is cleaner than what it was when we arrived. Oh, and no spoon-banging or plant-digging.

And actually, strapping a baby in MASSIVLEY slows down your potential response time in case the infant chokes, no way would I strap him in, especially with a distracting environment and new-ish food.

At least it was veg and gravy, and not some crap Normally found on the kid menu, like chips, beans and a UPF burger/bun. And at least he wasn't plugged into a device.

I wondered what people say about us behind out backs? Most people are usually impressed at his wide variety of food choices and the fact that he can actually feed himself. But that's only to our faces...

I think what people say behind your back depends on how often you've said 'we've never ever lifted a spoon to our toddlers mouth' out loud.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 20/05/2023 18:38

Newmum0322 · 20/05/2023 17:42

This.

I hate how judgemental people can be of parents. If they left him screaming in the high chair you'd only have complained about that? The fact is, you can't 'control' an 11 mo the old baby no matter what you think they did back in your day!

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You can stop him banging cutlery on the table an emptying soil out of plant pots though!

Openup · 20/05/2023 18:39

I think it’s ok for the baby to use his hands and make a mess, on the understanding that the parents clean everything once they’ve finished. I don’t however think it’s ok to allow the child to be unstrapped in the high chair, mess around with the soil in the plants and definitely not ok to bang cutlery on the table…that would have given me the rage!

Billyoh · 20/05/2023 18:45

shammalammadingdong · 20/05/2023 18:21

Yes, really. OBVIOUSLY its not longer in use as a medical term (and hasn't been for a century), but are you under some bizarre impression that mild insults have been abolished?

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Do you agree it’s an insult?

But it’s a “mild” insult, so you think that’s ok?

Shouldn’t the recipient decide on how insulted they are? Not the attacker?

Newmum0322 · 20/05/2023 18:45

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 20/05/2023 18:38

You can stop him banging cutlery on the table an emptying soil out of plant pots though!

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😂 they gave him cutlery to stop him screaming in the high chair, when that didn’t work they took him out of the high chair and he found a plant pot to pull mud from, I’m sure they pulled him away and he found something else to get into.

The fact is, you can either go out as parents and clean up after your little one or you can stay home. But no… you can’t control them. They will find something to bang, and they will make a mess when they’re 11 month old.

The OP says they made ‘some’ effort to clean up. I think the OP just didn’t like that they had the cheek to take a small baby out for food. Parents should wait until they can control their children, right?

Billyoh · 20/05/2023 18:47

coxesorangepippin · 20/05/2023 18:27

An 11 month old had a tantrum you say OP! Crikey if you’ve not stopped a child tantrumming by 11 months, what sort of teen are they going to be!

^^

Let them tantrum at home, rather than in the local harvester or wherever

So what age are you allowed to venture out? Because they may or may not have a tantrum?

Newmumatlast · 20/05/2023 18:49

Anoushkaka · 20/05/2023 14:07

It was hard not to notice. Babies make mess but surely it's lazy parenting to just let an 11 month old feed themselves so you can't enjoy your own meal. I doubt he even got any in his mouth.

I let my 9 month old feed himself. But he can, with his fingers. Some food goes on the floor but I get down on my hands and knees and clean it all up. I agree it's awful when people don't. Restaurant staff should clean reasonable mess but that's very limited in my view because people should leave minimal to no mess out of respect. That includes if you have kids.

sotiredandburntout · 20/05/2023 18:50

InchHighPrivateI · 20/05/2023 14:03

A baby made a mess, you say?

😂

yellowtether · 20/05/2023 18:56

coxesorangepippin · 20/05/2023 18:27

An 11 month old had a tantrum you say OP! Crikey if you’ve not stopped a child tantrumming by 11 months, what sort of teen are they going to be!

^^

Let them tantrum at home, rather than in the local harvester or wherever

So are you just never supposed to leave the house with your toddler then?

Emotionalsupportviper · 20/05/2023 18:57

SouthLondonMum22 · 20/05/2023 18:37

I think what people say behind your back depends on how often you've said 'we've never ever lifted a spoon to our toddlers mouth' out loud.

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<snort!>

😂😂😂

LadyJ2023 · 20/05/2023 18:58

All im gona say is our 3 under 2s would not be allowed out if this occurred. They know to be strapped into a high chair and any kicking off if it ever happened one of us would immediatelytake them out, it's not rocket science to order them food that won't make a giant mess so they feed themselves and tantrums etc well no need for those if they've been trained properly at home regarding eating and high chairs etc.

shammalammadingdong · 20/05/2023 18:59

Billyoh · 20/05/2023 18:45

Do you agree it’s an insult?

But it’s a “mild” insult, so you think that’s ok?

Shouldn’t the recipient decide on how insulted they are? Not the attacker?

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Yes, insults are still a thing that exist. How are you so confused here?

partypompoms · 20/05/2023 18:59

Anoushkaka · 20/05/2023 14:07

It was hard not to notice. Babies make mess but surely it's lazy parenting to just let an 11 month old feed themselves so you can't enjoy your own meal. I doubt he even got any in his mouth.

It's called baby led weaning. It's the standard approach now advised by health visitors in my area.

LakieLady · 20/05/2023 19:00

lenalemonade · 20/05/2023 15:48

The world has gone mad ...how on earth can anyone think this is acceptable behaviour or can be defended .

Beats me. The screaming and tantrumming alone must have been awful for other diners.

I went out for lunch a couple of weeks ago and the bill for for 2 of us came to just over £60. I'd have been pretty pissed off if the experience had been spoiled by that after spending that much. Actually, I'd probably have asked to move to a quieter table.

There's a lot to be said for old-style pubs with different bars, where children were often only allowed in one of them.

Billyoh · 20/05/2023 19:01

shammalammadingdong · 20/05/2023 18:59

Yes, insults are still a thing that exist. How are you so confused here?

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I’m not confused at all! I’m pointing an insult is an insult to the insulting poster that says loon is only a mild insult.

Billyoh · 20/05/2023 19:02

LakieLady · 20/05/2023 19:00

Beats me. The screaming and tantrumming alone must have been awful for other diners.

I went out for lunch a couple of weeks ago and the bill for for 2 of us came to just over £60. I'd have been pretty pissed off if the experience had been spoiled by that after spending that much. Actually, I'd probably have asked to move to a quieter table.

There's a lot to be said for old-style pubs with different bars, where children were often only allowed in one of them.

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If I were you I’d only go to child free establishments if you’re that sensitive.

Chickenkeev · 20/05/2023 19:03

LakieLady · 20/05/2023 19:00

Beats me. The screaming and tantrumming alone must have been awful for other diners.

I went out for lunch a couple of weeks ago and the bill for for 2 of us came to just over £60. I'd have been pretty pissed off if the experience had been spoiled by that after spending that much. Actually, I'd probably have asked to move to a quieter table.

There's a lot to be said for old-style pubs with different bars, where children were often only allowed in one of them.

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It's shite when children are 'banned'. There shouldn't be a need for it if parents actually parent (in the absence of additional needs etc)

Violinist64 · 20/05/2023 19:05

Newmum0322 · 20/05/2023 18:45

😂 they gave him cutlery to stop him screaming in the high chair, when that didn’t work they took him out of the high chair and he found a plant pot to pull mud from, I’m sure they pulled him away and he found something else to get into.

The fact is, you can either go out as parents and clean up after your little one or you can stay home. But no… you can’t control them. They will find something to bang, and they will make a mess when they’re 11 month old.

The OP says they made ‘some’ effort to clean up. I think the OP just didn’t like that they had the cheek to take a small baby out for food. Parents should wait until they can control their children, right?

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Yes, actually, they should. A restaurant is a public space for all, not a creche. Nobody minds a baby being a baby as long as the parents act as parents and make sure that their offspring are under control. If they cannot do this then they should not be in restaurants.

Bunny2607 · 20/05/2023 19:21

I think given your youngest is now 11 you are looking back through rose tinted glasses. I also don’t really see what it’s got to do with you, the baby was 11months I don’t really know what you expect.

Tinybrother · 20/05/2023 19:21

Livinginanotherworld · 20/05/2023 16:02

There is a whole new generation of entitled parents these days…..clean up after your baby, don’t let toddlers run around busy restaurants screaming their heads off, and teach them to use their inside voices. Baby led weaning doesn’t mean give your baby mushy food to eat with it’s hands, offer finger food for the hands and load up spoon for the mushy stuff.
The number of kids put in front of an iPad with the sound on loud in restaurants continues to astound me, what on earth do they think we used to do with our kids before these essential and wonderful inventions ? Don’t be so lazy and parent properly.

The parents of this new generation of entitled parents clearly did a really shit job of bringing up the next generation of parents didn’t they

niclw · 20/05/2023 19:27

Baby led weaning is a big thing now. My son is only 4 but I was extra paranoid about him making mess when eating both at home and in restaurants. We used to meet a friend and her daughter of the same age for lunch and we would always get on our hands and knees and pick up/clean up the mess while they ate. What annoys me more are the children being allowed to run around the restaurant. My nephew doesn't 'like' sitting at the table and has never been made to stay at one. We are going out for my mums birthday soon and I am dreading it. My mum chose somewhere with a playground so my nephew plus one adult can go outside while we eat. It won't be me as I will stay with my son who knows that he stays at the table until everyone has finished.

LakieLady · 20/05/2023 19:28

shammalammadingdong · 20/05/2023 18:21

Yes, really. OBVIOUSLY its not longer in use as a medical term (and hasn't been for a century), but are you under some bizarre impression that mild insults have been abolished?

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Imagine if they were? Outspoken people like me would have to go straight for the heavy duty insults, there'd be no gradual escalation.

It'd be awful.