11 month old in restaurant

[Anoushkaka]

So I know things have changed with parenting since I had my own children, youngest is now 11 but do some parents literally just let their kids to what they want?

Went for a meal yesterday with DH and our children. A couple come in with their baby and get seated near us. Highchair is brought over and they put him in but don't strap him in because he doesnt like to be strapped in, mother said this to waitress. They order food and literally plonk a bowl of mash, veg and gravy on the highchair for baby to eat. He puts his hands straight in and starts feeding himself with his hands, food is going everywhere, patents are looking at him and saying "what a great boy he is".

Baby literally has food everywhere, parents make a half hearted attempt to clean baby which results in an almighty tantrum and him nearly falling out of the highchair because he wasn't strapped in. Dessert comes and the same thing with a bowl of ice cream, its everywhere. They then give him a sippy cup that spills all over him because obviously its not one for his age group.

He screams to get out of highchair, father takes him out and let's him bang cutlery on the table, pull soil from a nearby plant pot and again spill water everywhere. All the parents kept saying to staff was ,"oh sorry, he is just so independent and clever for his age".

I was appalled to be honest. I spoke to my friend who is a childminder and stressed that yes unfortunately a lot of parents are now like this.

BLW doesn't interest me either. It feels like something else some people use to act superior and judge other parents with.

Carrot is carrot.

Entitled parents.

Raising entitled children.

I feel the same, but from some of these posts you’d have to believe if you choose a puréed carrot over a soft carrot baton, your child will never eat a meal with a knife and fork ever.

My girls first taste was puréed brocolli. It’s still her favourite thing to eat now, but she’s got into her purple tenderstem and likes it whole and in copious amounts. Funny how she moved on from purées.

Health visitors discourage spoon feeding now as it's linked to childhood obesity.

Yep, this sounds like bollocs

^^

Tis bollocks indeed. Look at Oliver twist

Letting the child feed themselves is fine, and yes it will make a mess. Letting them bang cutlery and not cleaning up the mess before leaving is not ok.

I think BLW does have some benefits to the child over spoon-feeding but not anything that important tbh and as long as your child isn't still being spoon-fed at like 18 months or something, I doubt it's of any real consequence in the long-term. I find it a lot easier for us as a family (me and DH, though), both at home and eating out. DD1 was spoon-fed to start with and it is a heck of a lot easier and less hassle letting DD2 just crack on herself so we can enjoy our own meals! Plus DD2 gets really frustrated if you're trying to intersperse spooning stuff to her with eating your own meal so mealtimes end up far more shouty.

@coxesorangepippin it's total bollocks but an easier sell than over hauling all the food they eat that is full of chemicals and hormones I suppose.

I did baby led weaning because I'm lazy and couldn't be arsed to mash or puree stuff! I'm definitely not superior to anyone!

An 11 month old had a tantrum you say OP! Crikey if you’ve not stopped a child tantrumming by 11 months, what sort of teen are they going to be!

I notice the plant pot soil was a drip feed! Eat your own meal, speak to whoever you’re with and stop judging others , is my advice.

Well if it is necessary to make such a mess, they should stay out of restaurants until they can not make such a mess.

Isn’t this just baby led weaning? It’s very common nowadays.

This!!

Not strapping in and letting baby eat with hands is fine. We’ve done both of those (high chair straps can be a safety risk for choking and we didn’t spoon feed). As long as appropriately cleaned I don’t see what the issue is. However everything should be cleaned by parents and banging cutlery, taking soil out of plants etc is not ok.

Mine are grown up.
Nearly 30 years ago they had finger foods to eat themselves as tinies. Cut up ham, Edam cubes, halved cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks, apples, strawberries, bread and butter, etc. they also had cut up chicken, broccoli (trees), courgette, sliced new potatoes, chips, fish fingers, all sorts of things, all suitable for fingers.

for things like pasta, cottage pie, a roast dinner, kedgeree, baked beans, etc, they had a baby spoon, knife and fork and were shown what to do and got help and etched mummy and daddy.

it isn’t just about weaning, it’s about simple table manners and eating as a family so the export model becomes socialised rather than semi feral.

Couldn’t agree more. Parents have been spoon feeding babies for generations and it’s only in the last thirty years it has become an increasing problem. My children have always been slim except for my oldest, who has put on weight since lockdown. He was always really slim before. He’s now 31 so I don’t think it was anything to do with spoon feeding.

Oh and nothing wrong with traditional weaning/ spoon feeding, but we just found BLW worked for us.

I think this is what most of us did.

Although not so much cut up chicken, chips, fish fingers or broccoli. The rest definitely.

At 11 months it's more about experiencing food, tastes and textures not about how much goes in 🤷🏽‍♀️

Sorry this is bollocks many children are iron or vitamin D deficient because of an over reliance on milk feeds after 6 months.

Drip feed?? It was written in the original post you loon.

Oh God. Sounds like she is well shot. You sound cruel!

The child is not at fault, how people choose to introduce solid food to their children is not my business but I do think that good manners are important and even very young children begin to pick up clues to what is acceptable socially. We should be mindful and respectful of those around us. There does seem to be some parents who don’t give the comfort and enjoyment of those around them much, if any consideration. That is very bad manners.

Why? As long as the parents clean it up, and they aren't throwing food at others, why is it an issue?

This.

I hate how judgemental people can be of parents. If they left him screaming in the high chair you'd only have complained about that? The fact is, you can't 'control' an 11 mo the old baby no matter what you think they did back in your day!

Shocking and sad that so many people defend this sort of selfish and ineffectual parenting. I detest the attitude of "My baby is allowed to do anything they want and to hell with everyone else".