To cut DD's beautiful hair short?

[Eurydice84]

DD (4yo) has beautiful blonde hair, down to her bottom. It has lovely curls but she absolutely hates having it brushed, so the result is often a tangled mop of knots. We also go swimming two or three times a week in the pool, and despite using a swimming cap and hair masks the chlorine is not very kind to her hair. We decided to cut it in a French bob (think Amelie from the movie) and donate to the Little Princess Trust, but I am getting a lot of "oh poor her" comments. People saying it might be easier to have long hair for reception next year, as it can be tied in a ponytail? I am planning to use Alice bands and barrettes but not sure whether they are allowed at primary school?

I don’t get why people put so much importance on little girls having “princess” long hair. I think your idea of having the hair donated is wonderful. I’d possibly do a slightly longer bob, but, the main thing here is your daughter’s comfort, not what family or friends say. I had my little girls’ hair cut into a bob last year because she also hated having her hair brushed, and I wish I’d had it done sooner as it really suits her. She’s a sports fanatic and if I need to keep her fringe out of her face, I tie it up into two small pigtails. I still get comments about letting her grow it out, but, dd is happy and for me that’s the main thing

My approach is if they won't tolerate washing/brushing, then it will have to be cut. It doesn't have to be a bob, though, why not shoulder length?

I had my hair cut short for the same reasons at the same age

I never forgave my mother.

I didn’t want it done and whether I agreed or not it was going to get done.

Why not put it into plaits or tie it up

It is a damn site more painful getting knots out of short hair than it is long hair.

I'd keep it so it's just long enough to tie up. It will grow again.

My daughter has wild curls and I got a head jog brush - game changer but it still needs the ratty ends chopping regularly.

But this child has said multiple times that she doesn't care if it's cut, so why is it essential that it not be?

If her hair has curls at that length, I think you should consult a good hairdresser about what style it will suit. Forget about the Princess donation, which needs 7-12" according to Mr Google, & go for what will work with your DD's hair type. She's got to live with it after it's been cut, & it should be as easy-care & flattering as possible.

My own hair looks straightish, sometimes with nice curls at the ends (it has a mind of its own), when it's very long; but when cut shorter than shoulder-length it curls every which way, because there's no weight on it. If your DD's hair is the same, be very careful what you do with it.

If it's curly then it should really only be brushed when wet and with conditioner. Doesn't matter really matter what length it is though does it?

It’s just hair. She’s 4. She doesn’t care. Why the fuss? Just cut it, donate it (lovely idea btw) and carry on.

If she has curly hair - I would be careful of cutting so short as length does weigh down curls.

Seems a load of fuss about nothing then.

I had the same. I was the girly girl with long hair and I had loads of confidence at 4 years old

For me it was like Delilah cutting Samsons hair. Except my strength was my confidence. I was always put with the boys when people who didn’t know me divided girls and boys up.
I think my mother wanted a no nonsense girl and she got a girly girl
I am in my 60s and my hair now is waist length and it will probably go past my bum before long.

People saying to just cut it because they have short hair and they don’t see the big deal it is.
Hair is so important. Think about how you describe a person. It is the first thing you say.

Max is the dark haired guy
Sophie is the one with the long blonde hair.

Kennyken is the one that looks like a boy but is wearing a school dress (overheard one of the dinner ladies describing me because I hated school dinners.)

My niece donated to the little princess trust such an amazing thing to do! The hair does grow back trust me hers has lol. Do whatever is easier for you and your DD it will grow back.

It sounds as though neither she nor OP realise that you don't brush curly hair and so the horrible painful experience not only isn't necessary, it should be avoided. She might prefer to keep her hair as it is once she knows how to look after it.

The point is though this was not your choice.

I was also made to have short hair as a child. I was not allowed a say in style or cut. I had to have a fringe to hide whatever faults I had with my forehead.

I desperately wanted long hair. All I wanted was bunches. I was allowed to grow it to shoulder length at about 9 before being made to cut it again.

it wasn’t the short hair I hated, it was the lack of bodily autonomy. I used to cry in the hairdresser as I had yet another haircut I didn’t want.

as an adult I’ve tried all sorts. Long, short, layers, one length. I like experimenting and have found my hair suits a short- medium length with layers.

my kids have been allowed to do what they want with their hair. They’ve also had it long, pixie cropped, dyed- there’s no drama or any emotion attached to their hair as they’ve always decided what they want. They don’t think cutting it will make them look like a boy or somehow make them less beautiful. It’s just hair.

Have a few inches taken off see how much better it is, if in a few months it's still hard to manage chop 2 more off. I'd do this rather than have it all chopped. My mum had my hair bobbed when I was about 7 or 8 it looked ridiculous. It's far better to have hair long enough to tie up at this age. Have you got a tangle tease brush? We couldn't manage without one. My 7 year old hates having her hair brushed and also goes swimming, she'd be very upset if I cut her hair. We brush our daughters hair with the tangle tease with conditioner on then rinse it, there's no tangles when you get out the shower that way. I'd trim it a bit at a time and see rather than a drastic haircut.

Fgs silly people. Be practical - she can go long later if she wants. It's just hair. She's a girl not a princess

Plait her hair before swimming, it made mine a lot easier to deal with and look at a different hair shampoo and conditioner.

DD had her hair cut in a beautiful bin when she was about that age as she also disliked it being brushed, tied up and got knotted easily. It grows back quickly, it's no big deal.
She's a lot older now and adamant she doesn't want it like that again. That's also fine as she is old enough to sort it all out by herself.

Bob not bin!!!

My Dd was a bit older than yours but went from waist length to long bob

She didn't see much point in only having a few inches off; she donated to Little Princess Trust too so needed a minimum length cut off

She loved it
Grew it back when a teenager and is bra strap length now

As a person with curly hair who bawled as a child getting her hair brushed, absolutely do not cut it bob length! Curls need a bit of length, the shorter they are the more they spring up. (I know you said its wavy not curly but the same applies). Growing up I kept my hair too short to tie up because of brushing, it was horrendous! I hate looking back at pictures of myself, it was so awful. Please don't do it. I agree with other people asking why is it one or the other? Try a midi or midi - short length first. You can also get detangling sprays and a detangler brush (my sister uses these on my niece with wavy hair and she never complains).

As your DD is fine with it, cutting seems a perfectly sensible choice.

I had short hair throughout my childhood. It was not an issue. As a teenager I used to find it quite fun when people thought I was a boy.

This might help (it's not full on CG)

https://curlmaven.ie/how-to-take-care-of-your-kids-curly-hair/

Everyone in our family has as short hair as we can get away with. Both genders. Female tight curls/coils 4A/4B, male slightly less tight curls 3C and female straight fair 2A.
All I have to say is time, stress of dealing with hair, money spend on products are negligible. Hair always looks healthy and good. Products we use are for fun (oils, temporary dyes, hair make-up), not something necessary to do basic hair maintenance. Short hair can be absolutely feminine. But, yeah, TIME and sanity is what I value.

Bobbed hairstyles with curly hair often don’t work well because the curls spring up into different lengths, especially if it’s not a curly hair specialist cutting it - guess how I found this out!

My advice would be to first try getting DDs hair cut to an inch or two below her shoulders and see if it’s more manageable. It sounds weird to say that shoulder length hair can be easier to maintain than jaw length hair but It depends on your DDs hair texture and curl type.

Pp are correct saying that you need specialist curly hair products and a tangle teaser brush. You need to do this whatever length DD has her hair.

What do you do before swimming? Try soaking her hair with clean water and applying leave in conditioner and a plait.

Long hair always needs tying up unless it's specifically left down for an event.