To cut DD's beautiful hair short?

[Eurydice84]

DD (4yo) has beautiful blonde hair, down to her bottom. It has lovely curls but she absolutely hates having it brushed, so the result is often a tangled mop of knots. We also go swimming two or three times a week in the pool, and despite using a swimming cap and hair masks the chlorine is not very kind to her hair. We decided to cut it in a French bob (think Amelie from the movie) and donate to the Little Princess Trust, but I am getting a lot of "oh poor her" comments. People saying it might be easier to have long hair for reception next year, as it can be tied in a ponytail? I am planning to use Alice bands and barrettes but not sure whether they are allowed at primary school?

I don’t understand the obsession with little girls having long hair. When I was a child most little girls had short hair in a form of bob. It feels like we’re going backwards. Get it cut @Eurydice84, particularly since she doesn’t care either way, I bet she’ll find it really liberating.

Going against the grain here, but I think hair that long on a child that young is a bit OTT. Especially if she hates having it brushed.

Cut the damage off and learn to take care of curly hair. Conditioner is your friend.

Don't cut it too short or she'll just look like a poodle.

Tangle spray, wide tooth comb. Condition.

Plait for swimming

Cut a little shorter, If you love it

Of course they can tie hair back at school, but you may want to plait it there too, to avoid head lice

My girls all had long hair, it doesn’t have to be an arduous task, and a little shorter, but still long, is easily manageable, if you want to keep the length.

My DD (9) has thick wavy hair that tangles easily. It's currently waist length and an absolute nightmare so I've put my foot down and said we're getting it cut over half term. She's Autistic and HATES washing and brushing her hair due to sensory issues, but also finds the experience of going to the hairdresser stressful. We thought we were being practical by getting it cut into a bob a few years back but it was a mistake as we had to get it trimmed very regularly (which she hated) or it looked awful. It was also too short to tie back properly and kept getting in her eyes during PE, we tried Alice bands and clips but found them a faff and kept losing them. This time she's decided she's going for shoulder length, so long enough to tie back but not long enough to get horribly tangled. I'm happy with that.

Do you plait it at night? If you leave it in French or Dutch braids or even a normal plait at night, it won't get tangled and will be much easier to brush.

I’m in my fifties and have never had long hair ever.

The longest has been a neck length Bob when I was a kid but since my early teens (and admiring Annie Lennox), it’s been mostly a short pixie length. I’m not gay either but just prefer the ease of dealing with short hair.

I really don’t understand this bizarre obsession about long hair on girls and women. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I cut my dd hair into a bob when she was 5 after she said she didn't care. She's now 10 and deliberately keeping it long which I'm finding infuriating as I have to make it nice each day for school. A bob was so easy for me managing the washing and drying etc I'd selfishly cut it while I could at that age and then if she expresses any different opinion respect them.

Wtf... you don't need to be gay, or justify that you're not, to have short hair 🤣

Just cut it. I did exactly the same thing over lockdown- but specifically kept going to grow it longer for the Little Princess Trust. When I 1st started they were asking for 12 inches of hair but then they did ask if people could consider going to 18 inches.

Honestly, by the end of it, I was sick of it. It was heavy. My head hurt from brushing it out every day. I had to have help brushing because it was thick and long. It took ages to dry. It was so, so hot in the summer. I ended up just plaiting it everyday. I have primary age children, so I had to keep it tied up in case of nits.

But I made it to around 19 inches, so I was very pleased to be able to send a big long amount of hair for a wig.

Yes I know that, but you wouldn’t believe the hassle I’ve endured from other people over the years just because I prefer to wear trousers, have short hair and I’m probably ND too. 😂

I would try cutting it just long enough to plait first and see how that goes.

My DD aged 7 asked for a bob, just above chin-length. She had waist length hair. We went for it and it's so cute, old fashioned almost and she has so many compliments. It really suits her.

And it's soo much more manageable. Her hair used to get so knotty and matted.

Uhm, sorry? Because she absolutely loves it, it's her passion and she is making lots of friends at swim school?

Don't do it! My mum cut my long hair into a bowl cut when I was 5 and I'm still not over it 30 years later! I vividly remember people asking if I was a boy or a girl all the time. It was mortifying.

@Eurydice84
yes but will she always go swimming so often?

and of course, why on earth wouldnt you cut it

@Eurydice84
once she is in school will she continue with swim school?

I would cut it so that it just skims her shoulders - it will be ok to tie back for school then and should be a lot easier to brush

I bought dd a tangle teaser. It made such a difference.

Why shouldn’t she go swimming as often as she wants?

my dd loved swimming. Trained twice a week at 7, now does 9 sessions a week. It’s kept her fit, given her a great social life, been good for her self esteem, and taken her to many places round the world.

she’s now been offered several fully paid swimming scholarships to US universities, including Ivy League.

so it’s not been convenient to swim and have hair past her bum, but I don’t think she considers that a sacrifice compared to what she’s gained.

Stop telling people what you are going to do as they will have an opinion.
If your DD is happy to have her hair cut, do it.
You don't need anyone's permission

Well maybe that's your answer. Tbh, a slightly longer bob is more likely to attract nits if it swings in front of her face too much - learned from bitter experience! Short bobs are really practical and look very sweet.

I really don’t understand the obsession in this country of long hair for girls. My dd decided at the age of 6 that she really wanted a bob because she also hates having her hair brushed. Although most people were positive about how it looked (it really suits her face shape), people also expressed sadness about the loss of her hair! Even now, when I tell my mum she’s getting it cut again, she’ll be “oh it’s just getting a nice length again” and her friends who mostly have long hair are often a bit negative about it before it’s done. Luckily once she’s had it cut she is very happy and no one says anything. It’s some weird idea that long hair equals feminine and no other hair length will do.

If this is the case then why on earth are you worrying about other people saying "poor her"? Its a hair cut, not a life limiting disease. Its clear she just doesnt want the hassle of it hurting when it gets long and tangly which is perfectly understandable.

If your DD is fine with it being cut then I'm not sure what exactly the issue is here? unless you care more about other randoms viewing your daughter as like some kind of mermaid over her own self concept?

My youngest has a bob - she asked for it and that was from shoulder length hair. We just tie the sides back for swimming and her hair goes into the cap no problem. My eldest hated having her hair brushed so had a bob until she was happy to grow it out and manage it, her hair is now mid length.

If you’re swimming so much with the chorine then it’s going to be need to be washed more often anyway so shorter is going to be quicker to dry and manage. I have curly hair but don’t get on with the curly girl method - I tried it and after trying a variety of products and having greasy lank curls, I gave up and me and my curls look much better!

I love leave in conditioner though - it’s a godsend with both of my DDs as they have very thick wavy hair. Makes brushing that bit easier.

Ignore the naysayers, they’re not the ones dealing with the brushing and styling and go for what suits you and your DD.