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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really annoyed he plans to let them use my room?

111 replies

MySpace19 · 18/05/2023 20:13

I'm currently away dealing with some family stuff and DH is at home.

Just need to add here that me and DH have separate bedrooms and have done practically since the start. We just sleep so much better in our own beds and it works for us (no affect on sex life, marriage is fine etc).

He let slip during a phone call tonight that he's told his DC that they can have multiple friends over for a sleepover on Saturday night and that they plan to use my room (bigger than said DCs).

This would also mean them sleeping in my bed and using my room all night and I'm just really not happy about it and DH thinks I'm being unreasonable and doesn't think it matters and thinks I'm just being awkward.

I've told DH I don't want a load of teenagers in my room and bed and have told him they can sleep in his if he's offering up anyone's room but he thinks I'm terribly unreasonable for making a fuss about it.

AIBU to not want a load of random teens sleeping in my room and bed and using it as a hang out all night? I can't explain it very well but it just makes me uncomfortable and I'm not happy about it, I'd never have been allowed to use my parents room like this when I was a child.

(DH doesn't want them to use his as he has a set up in there for TV etc. he uses).

OP posts:
YouWonJayne · 18/05/2023 20:15

YANBU at all.

So his precious TV is more important than you? Tell him they can use his room.

On a seperate note, seperately bedrooms are genius!!

Doggymummar · 18/05/2023 20:16

No not at all

Scienceadvisory · 18/05/2023 20:16

You're husband should take yours and give the teens his. The fact he doesn't want them to use his shows he does understand why you wouldn't teens in yours, he is just being selfish

flossypots · 18/05/2023 20:17

YANBU. your DH is a dick.

Original poster
MySpace19 · 18/05/2023 20:18

Scienceadvisory · 18/05/2023 20:16

You're husband should take yours and give the teens his. The fact he doesn't want them to use his shows he does understand why you wouldn't teens in yours, he is just being selfish

His reasoning for this is he wants to use the stuff in his room (TV/games console that he has a set up for in his room already) and I'm not there anyway so it's easier.

OP posts:
Original poster
MySpace19 · 18/05/2023 20:18

I'm not sure if it's relevant at all but DC in question isn't my child, they are my DSC so I barely even know said friends either!

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 18/05/2023 20:19

Let teens have the sittingroom to slepp in? Dh can retreat to his room.

Saucemonkey · 18/05/2023 20:19

I would hate this. Tell him straight that if it happens you will be furious.

FinallyHere · 18/05/2023 20:19

DH doesn't want them to use his as he has a set up in there for TV etc. he uses

Just wow.

Can you lock your room before you go away ?

I would not like this at all. I would not expect DH to offer my room. No, not at all.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 18/05/2023 20:20

If he does t want to give up his room then the simple answer is that they use DCs room and the living areas. You're out of the house, he has a TV in his room so he can cede the living room to them.

I understand why you would feel uncomfortable, you have your stuff in your room and don't want a load of strangers potentially rooting through it and sleeping in your bed. That's completely reasonable.

YouWonJayne · 18/05/2023 20:20

The thought of a random teen sleeping in my bed makes me heave.

Soubriquet · 18/05/2023 20:20

To me, a sleepover with friends was everyone in the same room. Even if it meant camping on the floor.

So why can’t they all stay in one room? They dc’s room

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/05/2023 20:22

He doesn't want them to use his. You don't want them to use yours. They use the living room or the DC's room.

He's the U one.

Original poster
MySpace19 · 18/05/2023 20:23

Soubriquet · 18/05/2023 20:20

To me, a sleepover with friends was everyone in the same room. Even if it meant camping on the floor.

So why can’t they all stay in one room? They dc’s room

The idea is that they do all stay in one room... Mine!

DSCs room not big enough for the number apparently.

OP posts:
DucksNewburyport · 18/05/2023 20:23

I would be fine with this. It's your choice though.

allthebeautifulflowers · 18/05/2023 20:23

God no. They could drop pizza in your bed or peek in your knicker drawer or anything. I'd really be questioning his judgement.

Original poster
MySpace19 · 18/05/2023 20:23

FinallyHere · 18/05/2023 20:19

DH doesn't want them to use his as he has a set up in there for TV etc. he uses

Just wow.

Can you lock your room before you go away ?

I would not like this at all. I would not expect DH to offer my room. No, not at all.

I'm already away!

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 18/05/2023 20:24

Ooo yes the living room! They do it in the living room

BeeCucumber · 18/05/2023 20:24

As you are away - they will use your room as you cannot stop them.

Original poster
MySpace19 · 18/05/2023 20:24

allthebeautifulflowers · 18/05/2023 20:23

God no. They could drop pizza in your bed or peek in your knicker drawer or anything. I'd really be questioning his judgement.

The mess is one of the main reasons I don't want it happening. I've seen the state of their room and how much it's not looked after. I don't want spilt drinks / rubbish / dropped food all over my room.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 18/05/2023 20:24

BeeCucumber · 18/05/2023 20:24

As you are away - they will use your room as you cannot stop them.

DH can stop them. If he has any respect for his wife's boundaries.

Original poster
MySpace19 · 18/05/2023 20:25

BeeCucumber · 18/05/2023 20:24

As you are away - they will use your room as you cannot stop them.

I can't physically stop them no but I can be very pissed with DH!

OP posts:
bellabasset · 18/05/2023 20:29

Going in your room while you're away is impolite. I know I'm unusual but even when younger I'd never go into my parents bedroom or snoop. Tell dh and the dcs it's a no

FloweryName · 18/05/2023 20:34

That would piss me right off OP, YANBU.

How many people are staying that they can’t just crash out in the main living room?

isthewashingdryyet · 18/05/2023 20:38

Just no, so disrespectful.
They are teenagers and will egg each other on to go in your drawers. Ukkkkkk