To be really annoyed he plans to let them use my room?

[MySpace19]

I'm currently away dealing with some family stuff and DH is at home.

Just need to add here that me and DH have separate bedrooms and have done practically since the start. We just sleep so much better in our own beds and it works for us (no affect on sex life, marriage is fine etc).

He let slip during a phone call tonight that he's told his DC that they can have multiple friends over for a sleepover on Saturday night and that they plan to use my room (bigger than said DCs).

This would also mean them sleeping in my bed and using my room all night and I'm just really not happy about it and DH thinks I'm being unreasonable and doesn't think it matters and thinks I'm just being awkward.

I've told DH I don't want a load of teenagers in my room and bed and have told him they can sleep in his if he's offering up anyone's room but he thinks I'm terribly unreasonable for making a fuss about it.

AIBU to not want a load of random teens sleeping in my room and bed and using it as a hang out all night? I can't explain it very well but it just makes me uncomfortable and I'm not happy about it, I'd never have been allowed to use my parents room like this when I was a child.

(DH doesn't want them to use his as he has a set up in there for TV etc. he uses).

YANBU and I would feel uncomfortable staying in someone’s parents room. I was raised that unless you have permission from the person who sleeps there, not to enter their bedroom.

He needs to know that you will be very angry if he lets them use your room. I would be furious.

Have you anyone that you can ask to lock your door? Your own children or a family member?

I'd go bloody crazy if mine did this. No way it's your private room and loads of teenagers looking in your personal stuff !

Let them all stay in the living room/ loung/area

He's showing no regard for your boundaries.

Also as a teenager I would have felt very uncomfortable staying in a friend's parent's bedroom.

Why can't they sleep in the living room?

I’d be pissed off. Why can’t they sleep in the living room?

This wouldn’t bother me.

'Let slip'?
You mean he wasn't going to tell you?

He sounds like a particularly shit housemate.

Genius! He gets alllll the credit for being generous by his son while making no sacrifice AND he gets to frame you as the bad guy if you say no!

Yanbu to be livid and put your foot down.

Totally U, especially given he wasn't even planning on telling you openly, let alone asking your permission.

So can't they use the sitting room or something?

If I were you I would be emphasising to my DH that if he dares to allow your room to be used I would be making his life a living hell. And that he needs to make sure your room is locked so absolutely no-one can go in.

I'd be letting DH know next time he's out of the house you'll be giving all kids free access to that TV and games console he has in his room if this goes ahead 🤷‍♀️ then get a lock on your door!

Your husband is being disrespectful.

Bedrooms are personal spaces, of course you don’t want a load of teens you don’t know going through your private things!

I’d really struggle with a husband who had so little regard for my discomfort.

Is he usually selfish and disrespectful?

No way!

Just say no, your room is your private space.
Your "D" H is welcome to give them his room!

What's happened @MySpace19 ? Have you managed to tell him why it's out of bounds?
I'd go ballistic
Do you think this was preplanned by SC ? Did they know you were going away?

There’s no chance I would allow that!

Oh my goodness. Big fat NO

I would absolutely HATE this!!

Seems he values his DSC and their friends' needs well ahead of yours or your need for your private space to be respected.

I hope you rip him a new one! (Who's changing the bed linen so you come back to a clean bed??) 🌹

Tell him if this goes ahead you will be swapping bedrooms with him permanently when you get back. Either way he gets the room his DC will mess up!

That is a massive invasion of your privacy. I hope he listens to you and changes the plans but as pp pointed out, you're not there so they'll probably just go ahead. Separate bedrooms might not have affected your sex lied or relationship previously but they just might after this!

*life

YANBU,

No way I would allow this and I would be beyond furious with dh.

Absolutely not, it’s your room. He should ask to sleep in your bed and give them his. Personally, we always had the kids sleeping on the couch cushions on the lounge floor for a sleep over.

Not a chance in hell would I allow this. Is there a danger though he tells you he won’t let them, then let’s them anyway as you aren’t going to be there…?