To be really annoyed he plans to let them use my room?

[MySpace19]

I'm currently away dealing with some family stuff and DH is at home.

Just need to add here that me and DH have separate bedrooms and have done practically since the start. We just sleep so much better in our own beds and it works for us (no affect on sex life, marriage is fine etc).

He let slip during a phone call tonight that he's told his DC that they can have multiple friends over for a sleepover on Saturday night and that they plan to use my room (bigger than said DCs).

This would also mean them sleeping in my bed and using my room all night and I'm just really not happy about it and DH thinks I'm being unreasonable and doesn't think it matters and thinks I'm just being awkward.

I've told DH I don't want a load of teenagers in my room and bed and have told him they can sleep in his if he's offering up anyone's room but he thinks I'm terribly unreasonable for making a fuss about it.

AIBU to not want a load of random teens sleeping in my room and bed and using it as a hang out all night? I can't explain it very well but it just makes me uncomfortable and I'm not happy about it, I'd never have been allowed to use my parents room like this when I was a child.

(DH doesn't want them to use his as he has a set up in there for TV etc. he uses).

It’s not just the mess they’ll make. Being a teenager seems to involve using copious amounts of body sprays ( which all smell vile)
And you know they’ll look through everything, every drawer, every cupboard.

Urgh, this sounds grim. What teen would want to hang out in his stepmum's bedroom all night with his mates?

I mean....it sounds like the plot of some bad taste teen US comedy circa American Pie.

Ha, they are all bonkers, right?

I know its not funny but that made me laugh 🤣🤣

Absolutely no way would I have anyone sleeping in
my bed apart from my partner or my kids - no one else

Your DH is being a bit of a dick because I take it he didn’t ask first. That said, this wouldn’t bother me too much IF I’d been asked ahead of time.

What the hell, isn't this what lounge rooms are for???? All the kids on mattresses/sleeping bags in the floor with access to the tv etc.

No way would this be happening in my bedroom.
My DH wouldn't allow it either.
I would be absolutely raging too.

They go in the living room. Or don't stay at all. And he will be responsible for cleaning up after them.

No bloody way. Yeah there are a few on here who have said it wouldn't bother them but most of us it would bother. And as long as it bothers YOU op then that it is that.

I can't even imagine a bunch of teen boys sleeping in my bedroom, with access to my stuff. No bloody way.

Tell your husband that your room is not available. you don't really care if he thinks this is reasonable or not as it is your room not his. and if he lets them in anyway, he will be a very very very sorry man.

Just message him and make it clear you will find it extremely disrespectful if he uses your room without your consent and that you’d rethink the relationship if he doesn’t listen to your POV. 100% your room would get dirty and stinky and they’d probably rifle through your drawers, maybe even waltz around wearing your clothes and jewellery cause that’s the dumb things kids get up to unsupervised. Your husband 100% does not intend to watch over them - he’s made it clear he wants to play his video games instead

Excellent!

Text your step son and tell them they have full use your husbands car/ booze/ credit card.
See how he feels about ownership then

also I do think him being your stepson changes things because it’s a tenuous connection you have with his friends. They’re less likely to treat your space respectfully as they don’t know you and haven’t grown up around you.

No way should this happen.

They use his room - and he goes in yours - or they use the living room.

No , that’s not something I would like . That’s your personal space . Your husband is not respecting your wishes . I’d be pissed off too .

Out of all the unreasonable things I have read on here this is in my top ten.
Your husband is a prize prick!

Kids/teens have sleepovers (especially with multiple friends staying at one time) in the living room/lounge, or that's what we did when I was young. It's more exciting and unusual that way, anyway. There's a TV, easy access to the kitchen for snacks... It's just easier. Bring sleeping bags, extra pillows, cushions, blankets, and camp out on the sofa and floor.

He really is a prick. How can he not see that's unreasonable? I wouldn't be able to get past that. I wouldn't feel that was my home anymore if I didn't have a room to myself.

In future I’d put a lock on your room.
Then your space can’t be taken advantage of again

Id be furious. Your dp is showing a complete lack of respect for your privacy.

Only a man who had absolutely zero respect for you would do this.

What an utter arsehole.

I would be so beyond furious at the violation of my space.

Have a think about what you are doing with someone with so little basic respect for you.

This is YOUR space. He volunteered it without even checking with you, so that HIS space was kept as he wants it, to hell with your needs. How disrespectful. Plus he has created a difficult situation for you going forward. Even if he now doesn't allow your room to be used, how can you be sure he won't in the future? You will need to lock your room every time you go away. This needs some serious discussion.

It would be a definite no from me. No way in hell in fact!

Just tell him since you're already away that you want the room clean, tidy and sheets changed by the time you get back. And you don't care who does it.

No way would I want this to happen. Say a big fat NO @MySpace19 .

The thing is, her husband might let them use her room anyway but just try and tidy it up before she gets back. She can’t trust him.

No from me. It would be a deal breaker if he let them after I had said no.