Lodger and booby traps

[Hoppygolightly]

Hi

I have had a lodger for the past year , clean tidy and shares house.

I have an ensuite so she generally has main bathroom to herself. She does not I stress have an ensuite , she shares main bathroom and usually has to herself

In the past year a handful if visitors have used the main bathroom and this really upsets her and she will then loudly and obviously start cleaning it and disinfecting it and sighing , this could be when someone has just washed their hands , I'm not talking about leaving a filthy toilet etc

Realised yesetrday she has wedged toilet paper in the bathroom door so she can see if ils been opened and toilet paper around the toilet seat so she can see if it has been lifted

Hasn't spoken to me about any of this, if someone's used that bathroom she will clean up noisily, spray air freshener everywhere and not speak to me for a while

I know it's weird , I can't stop visitors using the main bathroom unless I tell them to use my ensuite , had a friend over at the weekend and did actually do that so as not to cause issues ..but they look at me like I'm crazy

Apart from this she is great, but I'm thinking it's bloody odd , it makes visitors feel really awkward !

It's London, Bloomsberry area and rents are high here
When you say you live in 'Bloomsberry', do you actually mean 'Bloomsbury' in the West End of London?

It sounds to me like she wants something she can't afford. My eldest is in a house share (not London) and paying £550 per month including bills and sharing a bathroom with 2 others. If she has a double room with almost exclusive use of a bathroom for £600 in Zone 1 then she really has got an amazingly good deal and should be counting her chickens, not sulking.

If it were me, and the silent treatment or dramatic cleaning continues, I would give her notice. It's unreasonable of her to be making you feel uncomfortable in your own home.

Give her notice.
Increase the rent, it's very cheap for where it is, and get someone new in.

I've posted here already but really feel the problem is not the bathroom but that she knew what the deal was, didn't like it yet agreed and is now trying to force the situation to suit herself.

Things are even worse now because she's made her dissatisfaction known, thinks she's entitled to sulk and has a veiled threat of thinking of leaving.

I honestly think this does not bode well for the future and if she stays you will be forever battling her self entitled behaviour.

I would have to say "sorry but I'm unhappy with how you've gone about things and tried to force my hand so it would be best if you left." And give her notice.

Thanks , yes she has said she is looking for somewhere

Threatening to look for somewhere else is not a threat I'm worried about, and I'm a bit surprised she thinks that will get her what she wants

I think she will be happier elsewhere so just trying to get a date for when she is leaving, or has she given a months notice already, but she doesn't want to discuss at the moment and got very agitated when I asked if she had given a months notice earlier and when was she planning on leaving

It is reasonably easy to get someone else, just hassle factor , I don't like what seems like a power struggle at home. I like a relaxed home.

The rent is very cheap , it's a well appointed flat and I do my best to make her feel happy here , but after last few days I agree with some PP I would like to draw a line under it and she will be happier elsewhere

Thanks for all comments , good and bad , has really helped.

dont ask her what date you give her a date toleave or she'll just string it out

but she doesn't want to discuss at the moment and got very agitated when I asked if she had given a months notice earlier and when was she planning on leaving

Bollocks to this. You need to be in control here. Write a letter and hand it to her and say this is your months notice and that you will be advertising the room for another lodger on Monday.

This is exactly what I was going to say too.
Do not let her drag this out OP, you have been more than fair and accommodating.

She has probably realised now that it will cost her too much to rent anywhere else and she's going to have to leave London.

I'd give it a few days and maybe give her her written notice on Monday. I'd be kind and give her 6 weeks though. You say she's been a good lodger up to now apart from this one hiccup so I'd do her that one last kindness.

Be careful @Hoppygolightly . I don't want to worry you but maybe lock up your valuables in a safe, drawer, cupboard etc, and have a man there when she leaves. Photograph whatever you need to.

Hi, I really don't think it will come to that !

I have been too wimpish in giving in and avoiding confrontation with her so partly my fault she now feels she can dictate

Can't have friends round being made to feel uncomfortable

She's not a bad person at all, just likes her own way , don't we all , and probably thinks I'm too much of a wimp to do anything

You get a date out of her to leave by giving written notice. She probably has form for this.

Assuming this is Bloomsbury, London, you may want to consider charging a market rent from now on. While it may have been worth charging slightly under market rent to avoid the hassle of a tax return, I am pretty sure you could now charge several hundred pounds more each month (and if you are willing to give exclusive use of the bathroom or rent out the en suite instead up to double the amount) and you may find several thousand pounds a year to be worth it.

In my experience, if you start by doing people a favour (like low rent), they start to feel entitled. I paid £600 for a double room with the bathroom mostly mine but with visitors using it occasionally as a loo and the landlady using the bath for her hobby (to soak things) once a week or so with the landlady doing all the cleaning (so very similar agreement) in the Midlands 7 or 8 years ago.

Also, if someone is paying market rent, they will just move on if they aren’t happy rather than getting weirdly PA and trying to guilt you into giving them an even better deal than they already have.

You want to watch single white female with Bridgett Fonda
you won’t ever take in a female lodger again
😂😂😂

Yes I'm really.going to have a think

Its the fact that I am taxed on the extra over the rent a room allowance amount that puts me off.

Also a year ago rents in central London had dipped alot as people moved out of London during covid.

I wouldn't rent out the main bedroom , mine, and reluctant to give someone the main bathroom for sole use, it's off the hallway so easier access than my small ensuite through my bedroom!

You're too nice. She got 'agitated'? Who does she think you are, her mother? Her personal mental health assistant? I'd just tell her this no longer works for you and give her notice.

Fair enough - it’s your house so it should be whatever you are comfortable with. I still think that you could charge a lot more for a room in central London, even without an exclusive bathroom but my knowledge of the price of rooms to rent is years out of date and not London based anyway.

OP, how about looking for a part-time Monday to Friday lodger? You could keep under the £625 threshold and have the advantage of having the place to yourself at weekends.
I'm not sure what you could charge, but I'd guess in a nice Bloomsbury flat people would be willing to pay the £625, or as close as dammit.

If that's the case she needs to find accommodation with a private bathroom.

Can you change the "trap" set up on the toilet to this?

I'm glad you've had a chat - but being uncomfortable in your own home is not on - I would give her the months notice, as she'll never be able to find something that cheap with her own bathroom somewhere where she wants to live!

The nutcases people on here saying the OP should let the lodger have the master bedroom with the en suite remind me of that thread where posters were saying the OP who was a landlord should give the tenants the house.

I'd speak to her about it and start using it a little bit more often myself to get the point across. Presumably your ensuite doesn't have a bath? Maybe have a weekly bath 😆

She's just checking if needs to clean thoroughly before use

Op

I'd be a bit worried that her idea of notice is when she finds somewhere suitable. Maybe you're ok with her staying for longer than a month till she's settled but make sure she understands that the boobyj traps need to stop immediately