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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why aren't parents correcting their DC?

394 replies

Meili04 · 18/05/2023 12:46

I just saw the DM article about an 11 year old boy being tasered for brandishing a knife over a tantrum in burger king. The mum said they were too harsh. I've seen this in my DDs school their child is a little angel and can do no wrong. If my child is mean to another child I correct the behaviour , if they rude I do the same.
My DC is a human being with faults and isn't perfect 100 percent of the time, no person is.

Why can some parents see no fault in their child? Our responsibility as parents is to bring up DC to be functioning adults who thrive. Treating DC as mini deities does them no favours. I think parenting is becoming too gentle. AIBU?

OP posts:
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8
ScatsThat · 18/05/2023 13:14

The mum said they were too harsh for tasering an 11 year old child and you think that is the same as thinking her child can do no wrong?

ScatsThat · 18/05/2023 13:14

Can you link to the article?

Original poster
Meili04 · 18/05/2023 13:24

ScatsThat · 18/05/2023 13:14

The mum said they were too harsh for tasering an 11 year old child and you think that is the same as thinking her child can do no wrong?

He had a knife... what are the police supposed to do? At 11 you know holding a knife is wrong

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 18/05/2023 13:25

Was this in the UK?

Houseupdate · 18/05/2023 13:27

Well tasering a child does sound extreme.

cocksstrideintheevening · 18/05/2023 13:28

Yes uk and when I saw it my immediate thought was what a little shit bag but surely those adult police officers could have got hold of him but it looked like cutlery not a knife that could do any damage.

Did they actually taser him or just red spot him?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/05/2023 13:30

Did they tell him to put it down first? That would seem the key question.

They shouldn’t got straight in with a taser unless he was threatening someone with it and they assessed there was no time for a warning.

As with everything the exact circumstances matter

greennotepad · 18/05/2023 13:30

From the video, it looks like he's brandishing a butter knife.

It's not okay to taser an 11 year-old, for any reason really.

Needmorelego · 18/05/2023 13:30

Where did he get a knife from? (Burger King doesn't supply knives). This sounds way way more than a "tantrum"

silverspoonsz · 18/05/2023 13:32

I saw that article. What the mum said was ridiculous.

Mothers are notoriously soft on their sons for some strange, unknown reason. Even when they're degenerates/criminals/abusers. And realistically, the fathers won't be in the picture or if they are, are of the same caliber as the kid.

I think it's time parents are held responsible for their children's behaviour.

WheelsUp · 18/05/2023 13:32

Some reports say that he had a butter knife.

If police need a taser then what the hell do teachers do if this sort of thing happened at school ?

Daffodil92 · 18/05/2023 13:32

Houseupdate · 18/05/2023 13:27

Well tasering a child does sound extreme.

He was brandishing a knife!
My nephew at 11 was 5’ 9 and stocky. What’s the alternative?

Gtsr443 · 18/05/2023 13:33

I don't want to live in a country where the police think it is ok to taser an 11 year old child. Look at the size of them and him ffs. And there are 3 of them.

Dilemma19 · 18/05/2023 13:34

Houseupdate · 18/05/2023 13:27

Well tasering a child does sound extreme.

If he's waving a knife around then it's absolutely appropriate

junglejane66 · 18/05/2023 13:36

He probably won't do it again

Original poster
Meili04 · 18/05/2023 13:37

They did tell him to put it down. It's pretty basic thing to know at 11 not to threaten people with a knife. Why should the police have to tackle the him while he's potentially carrying a deadly weapon? Should they have to potentially harm themselves to stop a feral child from being injured?

OP posts:
helpfulperson · 18/05/2023 13:39

It's not unreasonable to thing someone who thinks brandishing a knife at police officers even if only cutlery is ok may also have another blade hidden. How the hell are they supposed to 'get it off him' without risking getting injured or injuring him?

Houseupdate · 18/05/2023 13:39

Daffodil92 · 18/05/2023 13:32

He was brandishing a knife!
My nephew at 11 was 5’ 9 and stocky. What’s the alternative?

Show quote history

Police are trained to de escalate a situation. I would expect them to try that first. As there is no news article linked by the OP I have no idea if this happened.

Sirzy · 18/05/2023 13:40

I think if you’re old enough to be out brandishing a knife then you should know you will face consequences for it.

if he has stabbed someone the police would have been criticised for being too soft

Namechangeforsure · 18/05/2023 13:42

Name changed for this as could be outing. I have a neurodivergent child who is currently undiagnosed due to waiting lists and is being unsupported as undiagnosed. His behaviour can be very extreme, and I have had to take a knife off him in the past, as he was threatening me with it. I am doing my best to get him the support he needs and to try and reduce his violent behaviour. I absolutely would support the police if they needed to intervene because his behaviour was dangerous in public. But if they tasered him I would be absolutely furious. Tasers can sometimes kill a grown adult if they have an undiagnosed health condition or the charge used is too much for their body weight. They are not tested on children and they could kill them. An 11 year old is still a child. Like with my child, the response needs to be proportionate and there are safe ways to deescalate a situation without tasering a child with a potentially deadly shock. I imagine this is a child with a lot of needs that are not being met, he may be neurodivergent or neurotypical, going through or been through trauma, regardless, this is a human being who needs help. Yes of course the public needs to be safe too, but this is not safe or proportionate to taser an 11 year old. And definitely not the same thing as thinking they should 'get away with everything'

Gtsr443 · 18/05/2023 13:43

Oh I take it back there are actually FIVE bloody coppers standing there in their stab vests. And they seriously couldn't disarm a little kid without 50,000 volts?

People don't realise how often tasers are routinely used on children now and on under 11s. There is no upper or lower age limit for their use.

18 people have been killed by taser use in this country.

Original poster
Meili04 · 18/05/2023 13:44

Houseupdate · 18/05/2023 13:39

Police are trained to de escalate a situation. I would expect them to try that first. As there is no news article linked by the OP I have no idea if this happened.

Show quote history

They told him to too he was filming it on tiktok and swearing at them. Mum does sad face in the paper is she not ashamed she's raised a thug? He's only 11 and doing that!! It's excusing his actions , he will think mummy will always back me up I can do no wrong.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/05/2023 13:44

Are you under the impression that all parents are well mannered, well brought up, well educated and free of any additional special needs? And that they just happen to think their children are angels?

CheekNerveGallAudacityandGumption · 18/05/2023 13:45

Might as well. What are the odds on him becoming a useful member of society?