Why aren't parents correcting their DC?

[Meili04]

I just saw the DM article about an 11 year old boy being tasered for brandishing a knife over a tantrum in burger king. The mum said they were too harsh. I've seen this in my DDs school their child is a little angel and can do no wrong. If my child is mean to another child I correct the behaviour , if they rude I do the same.
My DC is a human being with faults and isn't perfect 100 percent of the time, no person is.

Why can some parents see no fault in their child? Our responsibility as parents is to bring up DC to be functioning adults who thrive. Treating DC as mini deities does them no favours. I think parenting is becoming too gentle. AIBU?

Presumably when a delinquent youth threatens someone's life with a knife what one should do is pick them up and cuddle them or pat them on the back till they are over their tantrum rather than call the police who have actual jobs to do. Knife crime solved, mumsnet style. How are some of you not hired to advise on policies or make other valuable contributions to society. Or wait, you are.

If it was the US he'd have been at risk of being shot dead so fortunate in that regard. If they can't use tazers the choice will end up being firearms or being struck by metal battens until incapacitated. This 11 year old was running around a caravan park with a knife continuing to make threats to the police officers. The reports describe how he was given ample warning but still refused to comply. This is a child who threatened police officers with a knife because he didn't get a burger king.... Clearly unless some major rehabilitation is provided this child is destined to spend a life behind bars, hopefully he doesn't ruin/end anyone else life in the process.

The officers actions achieved the best result - i.e. if the quoted 5 officers at the scene had used the batten to try and incapacite, or if one of the officers had been wounded by the boy, it's just not worth the risk. Absolutely well done to the officers. Too many children carrying knives these days it's becoming normalised, the idea that the police should apologise is madness. It's just a shame it sounds like the boy cant be prosecuted as it's 12yrs in Scotland since it sounds like the parents aren't going to be discipling him either, so just a waiting game until he uses a knife in violence next time.

I work for the ambulance service and have had a knife pulled on me by a child only we obviously don't carry tazers. I had to strike him with as hard as I could with the oxygen cylinder to escape the room. The injury I gave him could have absolutely been fatal (and was completely justified) but fortunately wasn't. This is unfortunately the world we've created.

My first thought was.

If that happened in the USA and the child was black they would have been shot dead.

Cant believe the mum is making excuses for her child.

Regardless of any neurodisability, if someone if threatening people with a knife they need to be stopped.

The number of posts defending the use of a potentially deady taser on an 11yo child is shocking, but one must remember that there is a persistent rump of opinion on MN in favour of bringing back public hanging/the birch/caning in schools/just about anything else that involves luridly violent retribution. These people are always with us.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, of course it was an outrageous overreaction and the officers involved should be disciplined. None of them should be allowed near a potentially lethal weapon again.

I agree that parents need to guide their children and correct them where necessary. It's socially irresponsible not to, and to the detriment of the individual child who needs to know how to behave and control his/her emotions appropriately. I think there is an equally serious problem, however, with adults who have not learned to think critically or respond proportionately. Anyone who thinks using a taser on an 11yo is acceptable needs to address their own issues before having children.

It must have been scary , thank . There's not much you can do against sharps I've had all the breakaway and restraint training. The advice seems to be do whatever you can and get away. It's reasonable force.

We can only hope.

But with mums attitude,.I think that child behaviour will only become more violent as he gets older.

I work for the ambulance service and have had a knife pulled on me by a child only we obviously don't carry tazers. I had to strike him with as hard as I could with the oxygen cylinder to escape the room. The injury I gave him could have absolutely been fatal (and was completely justified) but fortunately wasn't. This is unfortunately the world we've created.

God how scary. Glad you escaped and good on you for whacking them.

Glad to see all the arm chair officers are out in force judging the polices actions....

Where was his mother? She should have been there telling him to put the knife down and not let it escalated. By making him out to be the victim she’s asking for future problems with him.
Have to say I didn’t hear a warning that he was going to be tasered — and he could have self harmed even with table cutlery which is why I guess they tasered him.

An 11 year old with a knife.

Who was warned to put it down.

And who thought this was a normal reaction to not getting a Burger King.

I would shake the officers’ hands for doing society a favour and teaching him a lesson before he’s a grown man who thinks he’s stronger and more threatening than everyone else around him.

We talk about ‘zero tolerance’ for male violence on here. Surely this is it? Or don’t we really mean ‘zero tolerance’?

If my child was brandishing a sharp weapon I would expect the police to taser if de escalation hasn't worked. There's not really any options for restraint in that situation. One slash in an artery or organ that persons life is gone. Your precious child would be facing life in custody for killing a police officer. I much rather take the chance of them being tasered vs somebody being killed and them in custody.
That is critical thinking. I'm anti capital punishment but people and the public have rights not be killed .

We talk about ‘zero tolerance’ for male violence on here. Surely this is it? Or don’t we really mean ‘zero tolerance’?
In some parts of society what it actually means is, laugh at younger boys being aggressive, laugh at them disrespecting their mothers, minimise the behaviour and attitude through primary school because he's just a cheeky chappy and boys will be boys, then by secondary it's probably the teachers' fault, they didn't like him so he had no choice but to be violent, make threats, and if he was aggressive to other peers it's because he doesn't like being told no and they should know better etc. But once he's a man suddenly he should know male violence and aggression isn't ok and someone else should sort it out.

Why aren't parents correcting their DC?
You are quite right. No parent in the UK has ever corrected their child. That is an entirely reasonable conclusion to draw from one article about one parent.

It may have been a butter knife but what would that lead to if he wasn't stopped?
Damn right they had a reason to taser him. Who knows what else he's for on him or his frame of mind?
He was told to put it down and didn't. Short sharp shock (literally) make make him see bloody sense or at least realise there's pretty extreme consequences for behaviours.

Why should the police go in and tackle with a weapon that why they have these methods o prevent thing's escalating.

I have a son albeit only 5 right now but I would not feel to precious if he was out doing this!

The mum rang the police for help. They did no deescalation. They went too far. They could have killed the kid.

The snag is that tasers do kill people. To use one on a child is unconscionably risky.

As a mum of nuerodiverse 11 year old I am appalled at the mums attitude. How on earth did she let it get to a point her son is "throwing tantrums" at 11 then brandishing a knife at officers. My child might be nuerodiverse but has been taught boundaries, rules and knows how to behave.

I know a nuerotypical 8 year whose mother thinks it's acceptable for him to kick animals, swear, scream, threaten kids with power tools, hit them with scooters etc all while saying "not my boy he wouldn't do that". If at 11 this boy is brandishing knifes at officers I dread to think what would happen in 3 years if let unchecked.

This is awful parenting. As for tasering him I honestly don't know what to think. He is a child so should be safe from a taser but was behaving dangerously. Were was his mum while this was happening?

The mother called the police in the first place. He went to get a KFC, it was shut, he had a meltdown and ran off somewher in the caravan park. Parents called the police.

The child has learning difficulties. I appreciate the police have a challenging job to do, but tasering an 11yo for brandishing what appears to be a table knife (and therefore not sharp) seems excessive.

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/mum-11-year-old-boy-30013308

@Meili04
Yep was pretty scary, we don't get breakaway training either. Well I haven't at least!! Just a case of try not to get into the situation in the first place/if you end up in the situation try to run away, if they block your path then do what you need to escape. We carry a large metal oxygen cylinder which a handle on the end so that's the goto assist. It was a pretty strange experience afterwards treating the head injury I'd caused (when police secured the scene we reattended).

I've only had to use it the once, been able to run away on the other occasions. Part of the reason I've moved over to the urgent care side of the service!!!

Absolutely this. Until the clock strikes midnight on their 18th birthday, they’re ‘misguided children’ and the responsibility lies with the adults around them. Then they turn 18 and they’re suddenly responsible for their own actions and ‘violent men’ who should be held completely accountable.

It gives incredibly mixed messages. Personally, I think kids need to take responsibility for their own behaviour earlier - the age of criminal responsibility is 10 so the law will hold them responsible anyway.

I don't know exactly what the rules are on taser use but I'm shocked that none of these highly trained police officers could get a butter knife off an eleven year old without resorting to tasering. And yes, I've disarmed a kid with a knife, twice, so I do have a little bit of insight.

I would keep in mind what that’s is mums version and the police will not be able to divulge the details of what they were called to or what occurred when they got there.

Of course mum is going to minimise it.

Good, maybe he will learn a lesson. I agree with others that if he's old enough to be brandishing a knife around (no matter how blunt its aggressive, threatening and intimidating) then he's old enough for the consequences.

Might be a butter knife but I wouldn’t want it stuck in my eye though? With the police on this, he needs to learn. The police would be slated for wrestling it off him anyway no?

Nobody should be tasered unless they are a real and immediate danger to other people. An 11 year old holding a butter knife and surrounded by police officers doesn’t meet this criteria.

That being said, yes lots of parents are too soft on their children. I don’t think it’s a result of (real) gentle parenting though… more lazy parenting. It’s much easier to give in to children than to hold them accountable for their actions.