Why aren't parents correcting their DC?

[Meili04]

I just saw the DM article about an 11 year old boy being tasered for brandishing a knife over a tantrum in burger king. The mum said they were too harsh. I've seen this in my DDs school their child is a little angel and can do no wrong. If my child is mean to another child I correct the behaviour , if they rude I do the same.
My DC is a human being with faults and isn't perfect 100 percent of the time, no person is.

Why can some parents see no fault in their child? Our responsibility as parents is to bring up DC to be functioning adults who thrive. Treating DC as mini deities does them no favours. I think parenting is becoming too gentle. AIBU?

watch the video. He is not threatening the police. He is trying to get away from them, he is telling them to keep away. They are following him with a gun pointed at him. He’s frightened. He is pointing the knife as it’s the only defense he has. They need to put the gun down and talk.

There was a thread recently where the OP refused to get out of her car to be breathalyzed by the police. And she was given universal support on the thread as far as I read. Because the police has lost our trust.

If this was a woman posting that three police men had followed her, pointing a gun at her, refusing to go away or keep away, and she pointed a knife at them to defend herself, I bet reactions would be very different. We would understand her fear. Yet we condemn this 11th year old child.

I’m appalled at the comments on this thread.

Same, fed up of little shits thinking they can do anything nowadays!

And most people don’t want to leave in a country where 11 year olds think it’s ok to brandish a knife!

**live

I'm appalled at the mother who thinks the polices actions outweigh her son brandishing a knife. The police would never be there if she actively parented her child. Carrying a knife is serious !!!

@Haywirecity

And if he's so easy to disarm, why didn't the mother do it? Why is that the police are called to sort out problems that parents can't and then parents complain that they shouldn't have done it that way.

Agreed! Crazy, isn't it?

I think making this about what the police did, or about one woman's parenting doesn't scratch the surface of the real issue. Barely a week passes without some incident involving young teens/pre teens and weapons, and those are just the ones we hear of. There has always been badly behaved people, but the prevalence and seriousness of the behaviour in this age group is increasing, as is the general sense that many adults have completely lost control of the situation. Whatever my generation has done, as parents, role models, issuers of guidance, policy makers, collectively we appear to have created a problem. I think the real focus should be on how we did that, and what needs to be done differently.

@Nicknacky So tell me how you safely disarm a child with a weapon?

Wear stab vests and masks.
Remove everyone else from the space.

De-escalate: use words and how you interact with the child to suggest they are safe and can drop the knife.

Offer them a choice of safe ways out of the situation.

Use autism/PDA- sensitive approaches as it’s possible the child may need this.

Yes but if the above doesn't work? As you should know it doesn't always work.

@5128gap we do need to help young people with this, I agree. I want to refer the young people i know who carry knives, or own machetes, to people who can nurture and help. There is no such resource.

Not sure how they're the same, the mother called the police as she evidently felt she couldn't descultate herself and/or was unable to disarm him, the other was a lone woman stopped on a rural road. What was the mum doing whilst police were approaching him? Why did he have a knife at all? What should they have done- they'd been called they hadn't randomly approached him, left him and set sort it yourself love?

He is not threatening the police

Yes he is, he is pointing the knife at the and waving it around.
He should have put the knife down
The police do not and should not have to go away from any person brandishing a knife, the earlier we teach our young males it's not acceptable to threaten others, the better.

If the police wanted to turn him into a violent man who hates the police they couldn’t have gone about it in a better way.

The police should have talked him down, reassured him, found out why he was frightened. It’s literally their job to handle these things in that way. If you don’t understand that, you don’t understand the role of police. I have worked with police who deal with troubled children. I know what I am talking about.

@Meili04 they didn’t do this!

They must have a range of really good strategies before jumping to tasering ANYONE.

Because they aren't told no. 🙄

Masks???! What masks?

And what makes you think the police didn’t try to verbally de-escalate the situation? You have only seen a very small video of the incident.

And then you have exhausted all the options you suggest and it hasn’t worked, then what?

She said she lost her child. She wanted the police to help find him. It was night. He was alone and vulnerable. She did what most parents would. She called the police to keep her son safe. Not attack him with a laser gun.

I didn't! I was literally asked what training I have had. I was trying to answer in good faith.

All I did was express a pretty mild statement of surprise that this had happened. I only added my own (slight) experience to try to counteract the "well why don't you try disarming a kid with a knife" that I thought might come.

And this was a lone child, at night, stopped by three adult men, one pointing a gun at him. He was cornered. Yeah the situations were different. The child’s situation was much more frightening.

Yes the police need better LD/Autism training their primary role is public protection though. Knives are a hard line even within inpatient settings they are so dangerous. Really he should be having intensive support with camhs and SS before it got to this but its also down to parents to guide their children , educate themselves and put boundaries in place.

Yes, this ^

Subtract the knife and the tasering from this story and you still have an 11 year old boy throwing a tantrum in a public place.

Something is very amiss in the upbringing of this child, and I think LolaSmiles has described what it is.

Has mum never told him knives are bad? This is how violent men are made pandering to them.

if she doesn't sort out her parenting her son will be spending life in prison or institutions.

If she doesn't sort out her parenting you can pretty much guarantee in her mind it'll be anyone else's fault but hers.

Where did the knife come from????

A bloody good hiding is what most of these little scrotes need and I make no apologies for saying this. Parents probably too busy on Tiktok to even care what their little darlings are up to. I make no apologies for saying that either.
Please feel free to hand my my arse on a plate 😉