Why aren't parents correcting their DC?

[Meili04]

I just saw the DM article about an 11 year old boy being tasered for brandishing a knife over a tantrum in burger king. The mum said they were too harsh. I've seen this in my DDs school their child is a little angel and can do no wrong. If my child is mean to another child I correct the behaviour , if they rude I do the same.
My DC is a human being with faults and isn't perfect 100 percent of the time, no person is.

Why can some parents see no fault in their child? Our responsibility as parents is to bring up DC to be functioning adults who thrive. Treating DC as mini deities does them no favours. I think parenting is becoming too gentle. AIBU?

Often it's intergenerational cycles that repeat.
Parent has no boundaries or inconsistent boundaries as a child, has insecure attachment to their parents, they grow up and have a children.
As a parent they don't want to be the bad guy telling their 3-7 year old 'no' so the hold grows up through young childhood getting their own way, never finding a place with secure attachment and boundaries that they crave. The odd shouting match might work on a 7 year old, but by the time the child is secondary age it doesn't work and they're doing what they like. The parents with won't try to stop it because they've no idea how, or they're not bothered as it's the same pattern they've seen in their own lives.

Staff the have the right not to be stabbed. Weapons are a hard limit, I'm not sure how you could reasonably safely restrain someone holding a weapon , if its severe violence you would use sedation but with weapons it's different, you can't administer the medication ranged as you need to hold the person.

If a child if mine was brandishing a knife I would want them tasered.

You might not be able to control what they do but you can support how their behaviour is dealt with.

It makes perfect sense that you read the Daily Mail.

Of course parents should discipline their kids when they do things wrong.

That does not preclude people expressing concern about the use of a taser on an 11 year old child.

How would you disarm a child with a knife?

I suggest you educate yourself on the realities of knife injuries.

It takes NO training, skill or strength to kill someone with a knife, a five year old could do it.

Hopefully that kid will think twice next time he decides to threaten people with a weapon.

You do realise that kids, and it is mostly kids, who carry knives also use what are called "glimmers". They carry TWO knives, the "glimmer" is the one they show you, brandish it around, get your attention with it. If a victim, a have a go hero or a police officer try to grab the "glimmer", the kid pulls out the second knife (which you won't see because your attention is on the first one) and stabs you with it.

The kids who carry knives aren't stupid, they didn't just wake up and think to put a knife in their pocket over breakfast. They know the tricks, they know how to distract people, they know how to use those knives.

The officers used Taser because of the threat the kid was holding a "glimmer" while hiding another weapon.

Why do you think people in London and other big cities don't get involved when they see kids commiting robberies or stealing bikes?

They know, from living in those areas, the tactics the kids use.

There is a huge difference between correcting a child's behaviour and tasering them!

The police cannot taser for no reason. They would have told him to put it down repeatedly, before tasering him. He deserved it. He was waving a knife around and being aggressive.

So how are the police supposed to get a knife off somebody without putting themselves at risk of being stabbed? He could have hid another weapon. You don't restrain someone with a weapon.
Are you proposing the police should be happy to be potentially get stabbed ?

Exactly.

Yes some parents are way too 'gentle'. I fear for the child who has been parented so gently he hasnt learned to master himself sufficiently to control his disappointment about a burger; and hasn't been taught that brandishing a weapon/object resembling one, at a police officer in the dark is a very dangerous thing to do. Whatever our views on reasonable (or not) police use of force, we are where we are, and its a parent's primary duty to teach their child not to endanger themselves or others. Small comfort complaining about the police when your child or someone else's is dead.

Fully with the police on this one. The kid had a knife, repeatedly refused to put it down and filmed it. He got his Andy Warhol moment and a big zap for his efforts.

Sounds a delightful child and the fact the mother called the police says alot.

Good job he wasn't in the US......

yes, 11 year olds do not have "tantrums", he is not a toddler ffs Its just bad parenting

YANBU. Every time I hear about another teenager being stabbed and the report says it was 3am, I wonder what a teenager was doing out at 3am. Where are the parents? Why wasn't the child in their bed?

In this case it makes no difference it was a butter knife. Any knife can be turned into a lethal weapon by sharpening with a whetstone. And Burger King don't provide knives, so he must have already been carrying it.

This is a person who threatened a police officer with a knife because he couldn't have a burger? Unless there are some sort of special needs, I have no sympathy.

He was brandishing a knife, I think the police did what they had to to keep the public and themselves safe. Maybe he will reconsider repeating that in the future.

But you'd be perfectly happy for a youth to wander around with a knife? The police have, undoubtedly, seen little shits of his age and younger stab people?

For those saying 'it was only a butter knife' tell you what, volunteer to be stabbed with one and see how keen you are then?

Why has this turned into a thread about whether the police were right or wrong to use a taser? This thread is clearly supposed to be about why parents aren't adequately disciplining their children anymore.

Exactly this.

An 11 year old tantrumming then waving a butter knife at police because Burger King is shut is ridiculous and it shows what kind of parenting he's had.

The safety of police officers is of paramount concern but I can't help but wonder how medical staff and schools cope when faced with the same situation.

Well, there's your answers right here, OP. Living in the bubble some of those morons live. The problem with knife crime starts on mumsnet, not on estates.

He was brandishing a knife. He had the ability prior to having a meltdown to consciously get a knife and keep it on his person.

It doesn't matter if it's a butter knife, plastic knife or a rubber knife. There was intent with the initial acquisition.

He chose to keep a weapon on his person and then when he lost control of his emotions, he had it to hand and brandished it at other people. He did not put the knife down when asked. He did not put the knife down when approached with the taser. He continued to hold the knife out towards the police.

Had the boy put the knife down, he would not have been tasered. So he made a choice. Scared or not, he made a choice to continue to brandish a weapon which could have done harm to himself or someone else.

The parent(s) bear responsibility for not teaching their child appropriate ways to manage their emotions. What would have happened if the boy had done that in school because he wasn't able to do what he wanted? It was just lucky that the kid was having a tantrum over a burger.

Unit is put on shut down to protect other people, sirens ring out. Of course attempt to calm the situation. Police are sometimes called who will taser , depends on the weapon. If its not a knife/sharps sometimes you will do a 5 person restraint ,rapid tranquilisation then into seclusion. It's not gentle weapons are serious.

Some of you who question the use of taser should give a child a butter knife or little plastic knife and tell them to stop you getting it off them. See how many times it would have cut you if it was sharp before you disarm them.

18 deaths after taser activation in several years - most not actually caused by the taser, some of them caused by tasering in an unsafe location (heights etc) - 282 knife homicides between March 2022 and March 2023 alone. Further, if I had a choice between being tasered or leapt on by 5 grown adults and pinned down forcibly I'd pick the taser. Far less likely to result in bruising, cuts, broken bones, head injuries or positional asphyxia.

Well; I’m guessing he won’t go on the rampage with a knife because he can’t have a Burger King again…

@Namechangeforsure but the difference is if this situation involved your son by the sound of it you would be there managing it,supporting your son and if necessary liaising with police about options. Where was this child's parents.