Not to give my toddlers a proper dinner after nursery?

[MyKidsThrowFood]

I have two DDs age 18 months and 2 yrs. The go to nursery 4 days a week from 8.30-18.00.

The nursery gives them a morning snack, cooked lunch, afternoon snack and sandwiches with crudités at 4.30/5pm.

I consider the 4.30 meal to be dinner so when they get home I give them a substantial snack and milk before bed (eg. Breadsticks & cheese, or sandwich or toast w peanut butter, plus yogurt, fruit & milk). They generally eat some but not all of this snack. But today another parent in the playground talked about giving 'dinner' at home. (I assume they mean proper cooked meal of some sort!) AIBU not to do the same?

DP and I work long hours and our DDs are tired when they get home so never occurred to be to fit in a cooked meal before bedtime but now I'm worried....

Well mine will sit with us at the table but don’t have much, usually a bit of pasta or fruit and yoghurt. They wouldn’t eat a whole meal, I usually just go off how hungry they are.

Personally I would want mine to have one "hot" meal per day, I wouldn't mind if it was in nursery or home. If they are having an "early dinner". Then I wouldn't b3 giving them a second dinner.
But I would try to ensure everyone sits together to rat substantial snack, so it feels like eating dinner. Iykwim.

We have the exact same schedule for my 3.5 year old. I generally give him dinner at home but it's normally pretty simple - pasta bolognaise, pizza, quesadilla - that kind of thing. It's more substantial if it's lentil stew for lunch at nursery!

That’s fine for a toddler.

We used to do sit down dinners as I somehow felt that this is what you are supposed to do... we've now stopped as it was too stressful and they never ate a full meal. They get the same meals you describe at nursery. One of them is a very good eater and always has second helpings of the warm meal at nursery as well so I've decided to take the stress away. We now do picnic style dinner on nursery days. Usually a bit of joghurt, fruit/veg sticks, cheese and maybe some toast if they say they are feeling hungry.

Yabu feed your child

Same as my DS. Has lunch and dinner at childminders and had a 'snack plate' on a night or if he wants a bit of what we are having. What you are doing is fine, they get a hot meal a day x

We don’t do dinner unless they say they’re hungry. They have a warm lunch then tea at nursery is usually crumpets and hummus, sandwiches etc. if they say they’re hungry I’ll grab them something otherwise I leave it.

We've made the switch to main meal as lunch (whether school, nursery or home) and a lunch type dinner and think it works much better at this age. Might reconsider when they're older but it's much easier to get them to eat something simple when it's late and they're getting tired.

We always just sat them at the table and they have a bit of what we're having but not worry if they are full or don't want it. It's hit and miss. We just made a routine of all eating together especially as I have school age kids who definitely do need to eat in the evening.

Yabu feed your child

Well aren't you a delight.
Op is feeding her child, try reading again,this time with comprehension skills.

At the nursery which was 7-7 hours, they used to give them a cooked tea like noodles at 4pm. Toddler didn’t need to eat after this. However my toddler was there age 1yo to 2yo so perhaps needed less anyway.

The current place is 8-6, and they do similar to yours a cold tea at 4pm. Mine has been there 24 months to 30 months old so far. Sometimes it is crudites, sometimes it sounds more substantial. From what I understand, they basically eat it around their playtime so not a mealtime where they are all focused on eating. Toddler has a hot meal offered everyday now, sometimes she’ll eat all of it - this usually precedes a growth spurt as well. Sometimes she won’t touch it, those are the days she is extremely tired and maybe didn’t nap at nursery.

I would say you need to offer it, you never know according to their mood or physical needs. They grow so much between 2yo and 3yo as well so even if they don’t need it now, be open to it.

🤨

The children are being fed.

Sounds great to me, op. They have a hot meal at lunch and the rest of their day sounds balanced. Mine would come home peckish and exhausted, so had yoghurt, fruit and toast or something like that just as a bedtime snack/supper before bath and bed.

I do our main cooked meal at lunch time. Then usually have a sandwich or porridge at dinnertime. They don't like a heavy dinner before bed.

She is feeding them! Cheese, bread sticks, toast, sandwiches, fruit and milk! Why does she have to give them a cooked meal? Sounds like they're eating a varied diet. OP it sound fine to me. I doubt they're very hungry, if they are they will eat! Things will change as they get older.

My toddler's day is similarly set up, and some days she's ravenous and some days not bothered at all. I always give her a hot meal (just because that's what we're all having) but I don't fuss over the amount she eats. I trust her to know how hungry she is, and so far she's a good eater, so I try not to worry on days when she just eats a few bites, or nothing at all!

Dd always had tea at nursery in a similar way. We used to do a snack then bath, milk, bed. She was fed. Looking back though I regret this and wish I started "meals at the table all together" back then. She became a very fussy eater later on and I think this might have helped.

I never fed mine after nursery much unless they were picked up early (or ate nothing at lunch). They've had a cooked lunch.

Weird of you to assume what another parent meant by dinner. Even weirder to care or think it makes any difference to what you do.

I think what you're doing is absolutely fine. They've had a hot lunch and another small meal and a bite to eat before bed. I'd doubt they'd eat more?!

I do the same as @takealettermsjones - they have what I have, sometimes eat loads, sometimes eat v little. It's nice to sit down as a family, but as long as they go to bed full enough to keep them asleep!

No, what you are doing is fine! They’re toddlers, not training athletes. If I had breakfast, lunch, a snack and then a sandwich with salad for my dinner, I wouldn’t be eating another dinner!! I’d have a little biscuit or something before bed as the dinner was fairly small, that’s all. As it is, it sounds like the majority of their day is spent eating another meal or snack! I’d use the evening to play, read, and have fun with them, not prepare and watch them eat yet another meal.

YANBU, ours is the same, I just do something like cheese on toast with veg sticks. I used to do proper meals but they were going in the bin, she just wasn’t hungry enough for them.

It would depend what the tea was. The tea at my sons' nursery was tiny bowl of soup and vegetables- they ate dinner with us at home.

I'm a childminder and explain to my parents that our afternoon snack (fruit, veg, sandwich slices) at 330 in park after school will not be enough to see them through even though they've had a hot lunch.

When ds was doing 8:30-5:30 in nursery his meals were similar to what you describe (though tea also spaghetti hoops/beans on toast type stuff sometimes instead of sandwiches).
Sometimes he'd sit to the table with us when we ate around 6:30 and share some of ours, other times we'd eat after he was in bed and shock horror he didn't get more than milk and a couple of oatcakes maybe!