Not to give my toddlers a proper dinner after nursery?

[MyKidsThrowFood]

I have two DDs age 18 months and 2 yrs. The go to nursery 4 days a week from 8.30-18.00.

The nursery gives them a morning snack, cooked lunch, afternoon snack and sandwiches with crudités at 4.30/5pm.

I consider the 4.30 meal to be dinner so when they get home I give them a substantial snack and milk before bed (eg. Breadsticks & cheese, or sandwich or toast w peanut butter, plus yogurt, fruit & milk). They generally eat some but not all of this snack. But today another parent in the playground talked about giving 'dinner' at home. (I assume they mean proper cooked meal of some sort!) AIBU not to do the same?

DP and I work long hours and our DDs are tired when they get home so never occurred to be to fit in a cooked meal before bedtime but now I'm worried....

Mine have the same as yours at nursery. They usually have peanut butter on toast, fruit and a yoghurt or a sandwich, fruit and yoghurt when they get home. We used to do them dinner with us but it never got eaten. On days they don't go we all eat together.

I don’t think anyone needs two full hot meals a day. Even in primary DD used to often have quite a light dinner if she’d had a big lunch, especially in the summer.

Mine both had this, a full meal at lunchtime and then a lighter meal at nursery at around 4.30ish. I never used to give them dinner after nursery, only a snack if they asked for one. I think it’s too much having two hot dinners IMO. When they aren’t at nursery we all eat together.

DS’ pre school is the same (main, hot meal at lunch and something lighter for tea at 4:30ish, sometimes cooked, sometimes cold). We do exactly the same as you - today he had a crumpet with some marmite, a few cubes of cheese and some cucumber at about 6 when he was home. We normally eat at the table but after nursery he can have his snack at his wee table in the play room. He’s both too full and too tired to be up for a proper cooked tea after pre school.

If lunch is a hot and filling meal then this sounds fine.

DD usually just wants a snack, occasionally she'll have dinner with us if we're having something she really likes

Are your children a healthy weight? Are they following their line for height and weight? Do they go to the toilet normally? Have enough energy? Do they sleep through the night?

If so, what are you worried about?

If not, then you may need to look at changing their diet.

What another parent does is completely irrelevant to whether or not your children's diet is sufficient.

My 3yo has a 'tea' at nursery at 4.15pm.Its usually warm and often includes soup first or yoghurt and fruit after. I don't think the portions are very large though. We eat dinner at 6.30pm and most days I would never know that he had already eaten. He eats as much as he does on non-nursery days. The big advantage though is I use those meals to try something new or something he isn't so keen on as I know if he doesn't eat as much then it's OK because he was fed at nursery too.

My son does 2 afternoons a week and he's 16 months and his dinners at nursery are like a sandwich /wraps/pittas with a yogurt and fruit.
I tend to do him a snacky type of dinner when he gets home like scrambled egg on toast with a banana or some pasta. But that is generally because he doesn't usually eat until 630 on none nursery days so think he's hungry around that time. He never finishes his "dinner" at nursery.
I think what you are offering your kids is fine and what most people do.

I'm sure you can tell whether your kids are hungry or not so just listen to them and your use your judgment. Snacks or picky bits after nursery is totally fine, and what you describe sounds good and healthy. Don't let an off-hand remark from a random mum at the playground get to you. Every household has a different routine so just do what works for you and your children

No, I don't give another full meal in the evening, not after all they've eaten in the day! My 2 year old will have a banana or bit of toast and then milk at bedtime.

DS has a good appetite his nursery do cold lunch and crudités and hot dinner at 4:45 he often has seconds and pudding, plus they do snacks mid morning and mid afternoon. He will also have overnight oats or porridge and fruit or poached eggs toast yoghurt and fruit for breakfast. I would never have thought to give him another cooked meal at home. I feel like he eats more than I do some days! Occasionally he'll have some toast with nut butter or fruit and yogurt, when he gets home there is one particular meal the cook makes that he really isn't keen on and he's generally not fussy, so I know on those days he might be hungry. He always has a cup of warm milk before bed. YANBU, DC eat regularly enough at most nurseries.

I did the same with my two. 6pm was way too late for them to be eating a hot cooked meal. They just wanted to zone out and go to bed after a simple snack.

We ate together at 6.30 from babies as I felt it was important, what they chose to eat off their plate isn't the point, it's eating as a family and kids having the same food

We sit down together and have dinner after nursery (DH and I eat very early) and I use this as a way of introducing new foods in a way that it really doesn't matter if they don't eat it. I know they've eaten, so just give them a small serving and they eat what they like.

Why does one meal a day need to be hot? Does heating up beige carbs add nutrients? Weird British obsession,
We live on salads in the summer. My DB did this, decided kids needed not a second meal but he was actually giving them more calories in the snacky rubbish than if he had given them a small meal, and then another friend giving her children pasta and cheese as a hot meal. That’s more nutritious than cold?

We do hot meal after childminder tea so we can all sit as a family. 2 year old generally eats most of it and yesterday asked for more. She has breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack and tea at the childminders and 95% of the time eats it all. But on the days she is with us she often doesn't snack, or only has maybe some cheese and crackers or fruit or something late afternoon.
Do what works for your family. I'm sure your 2 year old would be telling you if they were hungry.

My son has attended nursery since he was 10 months. He used to just want a snack and some milk after nursery. He’s 3 now and the last few weeks has started asking for food because he’s not been eating much at tea time. Now he’ll have beans on toast, veggies and chicken, pasta. He doesn’t always eat it all but he wants that bit extra before bed.

non nursery days tea time/dinner time is around 5:30/6

Why does one meal a day need to be hot? Does heating up beige carbs add nutrients? Weird British obsession,
We live on salads in the summer. My DB did this, decided kids needed not a second meal but he was actually giving them more calories in the snacky rubbish than if he had given them a small meal, and then another friend giving her children pasta and cheese as a hot meal. That’s more nutritious than cold?

I'm not British, and who said anything about beige carbs? That's not dinner in my house. A "hot" dinner means your main most filling g meal of the day. And children need carbs for energy, A salad on its own even with protein is not a complete meal for children.

Ours do 8:30-5:30 and get three meals and an afternoon snack - I think the last meal is around 4. I used to give them more of a 'tea' but recently have swapped to more of what pps are saying: a crumpet, maybe an egg, beans on toast etc. They spend a lot of time in the garden so do get a little hungry, but seem fine with this change.

DD usually has some fruit, cheese and crackers, breadsticks and hummus, and milk. She couldn’t manage dinner after a full nursery day and get to bed on time, nor could we manage to make it and manage work, pick-up, etc. We still eat together on the weekend.

Really don’t understand all these responses saying it’s too late for a hot meal. It’s not too late for highly processed breadsticks, bread and crumpets?

My nearly 2 year old has (2nd) breakfast, a hot lunch, and snack at nursery (sandwiches, wraps, pitta and hummus, all with fruit) and always sits with us to have some of what we are having for dinner. Tonight it was white turkey chilli with peppers, cheese and avocado. He always eats and gets to bed just fine, and we get to have family dinners together. And he has maintained 95th centile for height, 75th for weight throughout.

In your shoes I’d save and just reheat the main evening meal you had yesterday, so they have your cooking regularly. I’d occasionally do your cheese strings, yogurt, veg sticks normal tea when required.

A meal at the table for you all together does not have to be a big production, but is a lovely way to bond together after a day at work/nursery. The dreaded batch cooking mince at the weekend could give you a Bolognese, Chilli, Cottage Pie in the week, with minimal effort.