Not to give my toddlers a proper dinner after nursery?

[MyKidsThrowFood]

I have two DDs age 18 months and 2 yrs. The go to nursery 4 days a week from 8.30-18.00.

The nursery gives them a morning snack, cooked lunch, afternoon snack and sandwiches with crudités at 4.30/5pm.

I consider the 4.30 meal to be dinner so when they get home I give them a substantial snack and milk before bed (eg. Breadsticks & cheese, or sandwich or toast w peanut butter, plus yogurt, fruit & milk). They generally eat some but not all of this snack. But today another parent in the playground talked about giving 'dinner' at home. (I assume they mean proper cooked meal of some sort!) AIBU not to do the same?

DP and I work long hours and our DDs are tired when they get home so never occurred to be to fit in a cooked meal before bedtime but now I'm worried....

If what you are doing works for your children and you then keep going it's fine. My DD used to need dinner when she got home from nursery but others didn't, my DS needs a snack when he gets home as he's too tired to eat a main meal.

They’ve already said they are getting a 2 course meal at nursery and I’m sure they are getting actual dinners on non-nursery days.

it’s just swopping lunch/dinner. No one would say you were starving your child if you have them a sandwich for lunch and then a proper dinner. It’s just the other way around!

I don’t know how people feed a toddler, picked up at 6 who needs to be in bed around 7, which mine did. Mine often came in filthy and needed a bath as well.

Up to you. My kids were always starving after nursery, and we always had dinner as a family at about 6:30.

Tbh I'd rather spend the 1.5hrs in between nursery and bedtime with my child rather than cooking / clearing up. They eat at nursery, a light supper some point before bed of porridge or toast, and some nice time playing having a bath and stories.

Me and dh eat after they've gone to bed. There's plenty of other time in the week for family meals together.

I think what you are doing is fine. They are eating all their meals at nursery and you are offering supper - light snack before bed.
DD’s nursery was same. She had breakfast. Snack. Cooked lunch and pudding. Cold tea - sandwiches at nursery. I think that’s very typical set up.

Same! Only on mumsnet do I hear about families with small children all eating together at 5.30/6! In my life, normally one parent works full time, the other part time/or is sahp. The part time one is generally home at 5ish or before but the full time one isn’t home before 8pm! I don’t know any families who all eat together! It must be nice though.

DH doesn’t come home until after 6, usually closer to 7. Last thing he wants is to eat the second he walks through the door.

We always did similar to you. DD has gone through phases over the years (she's 4 now) where sometimes she'd eat a yogurt and that's be about it and sometimes demolish a dinner size portion of pasta! We could always see the growth spurts coming!

If we're eating she'll have a bit of ours. If not we'll offer her a choice of a couple of things and she can choose.

At the moment she's fond of a Weetabix or cheese and crackers with some fruit for supper. A couple of months ago it was scrambled egg and a piece of toast at least a couple of times a week!

There was always the odd nursery tea she didn't like (samosa and spring roll day at the mo!) so we knew she'd need a more substantial supper that night so that's something to watch out for.

I think as long as you and your kids are happy with what you're feeding them you're doing fine!

There’s a cooked meal at lunch yanbu

Don’t be ridiculous! They have a meal at lunch time, then food at dinner time and a snack at home!! That’s fine. I do the same for my 4.5 year old when he eats at nursery. He has a hot meal at lunch time, snacky tea at 430 at nursery then peanut butter on toast and yoghurt or similar. I pay for these meals, I wouldn’t then give another dinner!

I never gave a meal when mine were at nursery

Same nursery times and food schedule for DS. He has a snack at home before bed and if he’s going through a growth spurt and hungry then he’ll have some of our cooked tea. But usually he says he can only manage a snack.

I have worked in tens of nurseries as an agency staff. It is not enough food. Trust me.