Not to give my toddlers a proper dinner after nursery?

[MyKidsThrowFood]

I have two DDs age 18 months and 2 yrs. The go to nursery 4 days a week from 8.30-18.00.

The nursery gives them a morning snack, cooked lunch, afternoon snack and sandwiches with crudités at 4.30/5pm.

I consider the 4.30 meal to be dinner so when they get home I give them a substantial snack and milk before bed (eg. Breadsticks & cheese, or sandwich or toast w peanut butter, plus yogurt, fruit & milk). They generally eat some but not all of this snack. But today another parent in the playground talked about giving 'dinner' at home. (I assume they mean proper cooked meal of some sort!) AIBU not to do the same?

DP and I work long hours and our DDs are tired when they get home so never occurred to be to fit in a cooked meal before bedtime but now I'm worried....

And lots of ‘just give them what you have’. I think for many parents when their children are in nursery full time dinner isn’t even ready at a time that works for the toddler.
I pick DD up earlier but DH doesn’t finish work until 6 and doesn’t get back until 7 so what we’re having has either not been started yet or is still cooking!

No need for any meals to be hot, tbh. Your child needs a variety of vitamins, calcium, fibre, protein, carbs. Temperature is irrelevant.

I do the same as you. I used to offer dinner but it just lead to one or two bites and wasted food. On nursery days DH and I eat after DS is in bed. DS now gets a snack.

I'd just do warm porridge. Its quick and easy, filling, can add fruits to it.

You know your child and what they will eat at that time. My 2 are early bedders and found nursery quite exhausting so there is no way they would have tolerated me starting to make tea at that time or sitting for a big meal. I often kept stuff in the fridge to make up plates in minutes like cooked pasta, ham, corn on the cob etc and they wouldn't eat much at that time. If I thought they needed something to keep them full all night the only time I could get them to est properly after nursery was porridge.

I do like to have a family meal together and every other day we do for breakfast lunch and dinner and sitting at the table has never been a problem and they eat most foods. But this is short term while they are so young and tired after nursery and especially when transitioning naps to no naps. My youngest was in bed at 6pm last night because he is just wiped after nursery, there's no way he could have tolerated a family meal at that time, would have been meltdown city.

Honesty it depends on the child.
Some 2 year olds would still eat a meal. Byt yours aren't even finishing the snack but I would expect at some point in your eldest 3rd year, you may need to start making dinner. Uncle Ben's rice and pre cooked chicken slices would be super easy and quick after work. Slow cookers too. Pasta and a jar of sauce. Frozsn pizza/ potsto waffles etc. It's also tricky as they're home after dinner time and probably exhausted. It's definitely a difficult situation to navigate. Just play it by ear, I'm sure you'll know when your eldest can also manage dinner.

Yes, DH and I wouldn't be able to do this if we didn't both work from home full time. I do the odd day in the office and on those days DH does dinner with DDs.

Mine is 18 months and at home for dinner he gets either a sandwich (peanut butter/cream cheese with avocado/melted cheese/etc) or Weetabix/other cereal, some milk, some fruit and that's it. He would have had a proper cooked meal for lunch at the nursery so to me one hot cooked meal per day is absolutely enough. This is what we've always done as a family anyway. You're doing great OP.

Unless they're waking up hungry during the night I wouldn't worry about it.

It's fine and IME mine are more likely to eat if I give them something like this.

Maybe other parent is giving dinner not because she wants them to eat more, specifically, but because they value the social aspect of eating the evening meal with the kids? Or maybe her kids are more awake in the evenings. Mine tend to be tired and silly.

Either way if what you're doing works I wouldn't worry about what anyone else is doing.

I visited a nursery last week and the meal they were serving up was a potato waffle and a spoonful of beans. I wouldn't want that to be my child's only hot meal.

There's also that phenomenon where picky children are for whatever reason more inclined to eat different foods at nursery or school.

It's many children's only hot meal. What's wrong with beans?

Usually they have something like beans on toast or a sandwich for the ‘tea’ and a hot meal for lunch. I would be very surprised if I nursery was serving beans and potato waffles as the main meal in this day and age. Nurseries have their menu inspected as part of ofsted.

Mine (1 and 3) have similar meals and timings at nursery to OP's. I give them something like fruit and yogurt, maybe beans or scrambled egg on toast, sometimes a little bit of leftover pasta or soup for "supper" at home around 6pm. They won't eat much more than that.

I find they actually do better on this kind of eating routine, so I've started doing it on their days when they're not in childcare as well. Main meal for lunch at 11.30am/12pm, lighter meal at teatime so 4/4.30pm, and then light supper at 6pm. They seem to have more energy through the afternoon this way, and if the main meal is in the evening they can be a bit too tired and crabby to eat much.

DH and I either eat with them, or sometimes we just have a cup of tea while they have their supper and then we eat an actual dinner with wine and adult conversation once they're in bed.

This is what we do. Nursery tends to be a hot 'dinner' type meal at lunch time and then something light at 4:30 like sandwiches or tea cakes.

When we get home I give them a small portion of whatever we are having and we all sit together but I don't worry / bother if they don't eat much.

There have also been times when they've been so exhausted that they've just wanted to go straight to bed with some milk and I don't worry because I know they've had at least something at nursery.

We do the same for our 17 months old. We don't eat diner until 7-8pm so too late for him (otherwise we would probably have him at the table with us and offer some of our dinner), but we offer fruits, toast, yogurt... Or something more substantial if nursery tells us he didn't eat his tea. Sometimes he eats it, sometimes not.

Nursery also gives 2 snacks a day on top of his meals so he definitely gets enough food overall. When he's with us Friday - Sunday we rarely give him snacks unless we're out and late for meals. He just doesn't eat them and it goes to waste.

Mine has a snack while we have our dinner (sofa or table depending on what the food is - the horror!). He wouldn't want a full dinner, he's already had something hot at nursery at lunchtime and they keep them well fed! They have tea around 4pm and I usually give him some cucumber and cheese, or a sandwich and fruit, or similar. Sometimes he'll have a part of our dinner if it's something he likes - so some tofu, or some sausage.

I never fed my children after nursery .

Maybe a snack when they got home but they had 3 meals plus snacks

Sounds fine!

Mine always had dinner at home after nursery but they seemed to be hungry for it.

Depend on the child and the portions at nursery

Little one sounds very well fed- don't worry.

According to a recent post on here of a man with a smell sensitivity and a wife who was restricted in what hot meals she could cook (couldn't fry or cook any odorous foods) the child was malnourished and being abused / neglected because they weren't getting a full hot cooked meal every night that was more elaborate than the limited options she could cook or serving food that didn't require cooking. So for many, given the posts on that thread, young children need a wide range of hot home cooked meals every night to avoid being malnourished and neglected.

Yep.

Mine go to nursery 8-6 2 days pw. They have breakfast when they get there, lunch (hot) around 12, and another cooked meal around 4.30. Plus a morning and afternoon snack are offered (fruit/breadstick/milk type thing). Sometimes they have a small snack after nursery of a biscuit, or toast or something if they are hungry. If not, they go straight to bed as they are shattered!

Oh yes, and we are awful parents who eat after our children go to bed because neither of us want to have dinner at 6pm.