'We all use first names here'

[houseofstone]

How common is it for someone to primarily be known by their last name?

I hate my first name and my middle name sounds like 'baby talk'. Thankfully, my last name also works as a first name so that's what I've been going with since I was 16/17.

Would it bother you if you found out that someone you are on a first-name basis with has been using their last name all this while? I've been told that
it feels like I've been 'putting up barriers' because actual first names are 'more intimate'.

YABU — Yes, it would bother me
YANBU — No, it would not bother me

Its fine, I knew two sisters who were called Murph and Murphy, because they had both stopped using their first names.
I think one of them might have been called Hilda but its been so long I don't really remember. Using a unused first name would feel was less familiar to me, like you don't even know them well enough to know their name- you just read it off the register.

Lots of my friends and family go by their surname and I've never thought anything of it, but I know that it's their surname or nickname. I would find it a bit odd if many years later I found out it wasn't their "real name".

I know quite a few people who use alternative names.

One uses middle name as she doesn't like first name.

Second and third are 'nick names' with no relation whatsoever to their names but are proper 'names' they've just acquired over the years.

Whatever is preference for them is ok with me

Sounds like the kind of place that talks about “bringing your whole self to work”. No thanks, you can have work-me and I’ll save real-me for my own time.

Isn't it up to person whose name it is that deicdes what they are ro be called?

And this is not aimed at the op but this 'we' would have me tell them we are not back at school and if they pushed it I would have some names to call them

YANBU at all, they are ridiculous.

It did give me a yearning for when I lived and worked in Forrin and all the women, whether married or not, we’re referred to as “Miss First Name” and the men as “Mr First Name.”

I’m definitely not posh and it was the done thing at our mixed, NI grammar to call the lads by their surnames back in the noughties.

There was much less variation in boy’s first names- we had something like 30 boys called either Stephen or Christopher out of 110 in the year, so it was just easier to use surnames instead.

I have a friend who introduces himself as Trev. As in short for Trevor. Trev is not his first name, his middle name OR his last name. But everyone calls him Trev, his girlfriend, his best mates, his siblings, his work colleagues. Because it's his name. You call people by their name, i.e. what they ask you to call them. I don't care if it's their 'official' name of not. It's like my first name is Katherine, but I've never been known as Katherine, I'm Katy. I didn't even know my actual name was Katherine until I was well in to primary school. I also didn't know Katy was a shortening of Katherine! My work email is even Katy.

I think nicknames are more familiar than first names, and I would say that using your surname as a first name is sort of like a nickname, so YANBU.

Elsie Nomnom Page - nailed it 😂

Colleague is weird and pushy

Know a woman with surname Murphy. Everyone calls her Murph. I think it started in college. I even hear her adult children saying it now and always her dh. It sounds cheerful and friend and l couldn't imagine caring.

YANBU

HTH

I’m known solely by my first name these days, but quite liked it in the long-ago when some workmates used to call me by my surname, same as they did each other (alternating between first and last names often enough). They were lovely blokes and I think it would have been more noticeable if they hadn’t done the same to me as to each other.

I might be a bit surprised if I realised I'd been calling you by your surname without knowing it, but if that's the name you go by, then it serves the same function as a first name. Seems silly of them to be bothered by it.

The whole reason you use "first names" is to not use the Mr Ms titles which makes it friendlier. If you're happy for your surname to be used without Ms then what does it matter? It's akin to a nickname which I would argue is even MORE personal!

This tickled me.

Steven James Testicle 😂

Is anyone else wishing they had a cool surname they could adopt as a first name?

It seems so kick-ass.

@VisionsOfSplendour it's a thing & not just in older people either DD who's 23 went to school with a set of twins called Jack & Henry - those were their middle names both had the first name William (as did every other male member of their family).

OP I'd ignore the eejit & carry on as you are. The only people that use my full first name are my mother & medical professionals.

I'm often known by my last name. I have never expressed a preference for it, but it's a name people seem to latch on to and I'm perfectly happy about it.

I googled this and it's not a famous person but some ordinary primary school teacher.

If you think you actually know the OP, why the hell would you out them with their real name?

I've reported this because I think it's hateful - even if you're wrong

Wasn't that how Hugh Grant referred to Bridget Jones sometimes in the film? (Confirming my point that posh upper class blokes often use .)

Lots of my family members get called by just our surname, it's used like you would a nickname. Sometimes other words get rhymed with it. Some names just lend themselves to this. Also i think it's a culture thing using nicknames in the UK. Personally most people call me by my name even when I mention in my introduction you can call me X or X. It's only a handful of friends i've known most of my life who use my surname and also friends of the family (siblings mates and parents mates) . So for me it's the opposite of OP's post and is more of an 'intimate' thing - not sure on that use of word though.
On a side, it's always makes me laugh at get togethers such as weddings or parties which are usually celebrated at local pub when someone shouts my surname and about a dozen people will respond 'WHICH ONE'.

I wouldn't care. It's their name their choice.

I know a smithy (don't we all) and a Robbo