To ‘allow’ child to be vegetarian?

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DD8 declared herself vegetarian about a year ago. It was mildly inconvenient at first as none of the rest of us are, so making meals for me, DH and other DC is a little challenging, but it’s fine.
Vege DD has been very committed and hasnt doubted her choice at, she won’t eat gelatin in jelly, sweets etc. Also won’t eat any meat substitutes like veg sausages or quorn.
She is quite fussy but we think she’s still eating well - lots of veg etc, plenty of dairy and nuts, plus chickpeas, lentils, some beans. Also a daily kids vitamin/supplement.

MIL and SIL cannot get past this and speak to her like she’s stupid about it, or to us in front of her eg. “Well why is she like this?” “Where has she got this from?” (quite accusatory) “How ridiculous!” “Your making rod for your own back here letting her call the shots.” “You should tell her no.” “It’s not healthy/right.” “You should her this/that/the other.” It’s like they think she has some illness and that we’re idiots for ‘allowing’ this.

I mean being vegetarian isn’t my bag but if that’s what she wants and she’s eating what I think is healthily, I don’t think AIBU am I? Well I guess I know I’m not really, but other parents have been a little eyebrows raised or they laugh and ask if she’s grown out of it yet, so maybe IABU

I think you hit the nail in the head there, they feel judged

The comments from wider family need to stop.

Regarding nutrition, I’d be mindful that an 8yo still has a lot of growing up to do, and needs protein. I’d try and see if being a pescatarian is an option, try lots of fish and see if she likes any.

I don't mean to be rude, but are they very elderly?

I'd say probably around half the people I know are vegan. (I am not vegan.) It's very very normal now, the whole idea that being vegetarian or vegan is surprising/preachy/counterculture/whatever feels straight out of the 1980s. I guess that attitude does still exist but it's a very old-fashioned attitude.

A friends dd became vegetarian at around the same age,she just didn't want to eat animals simple as, she is in her 20s now and still doesn't eat meat thousands of people survive on a vegetarian diet they don't waif about with no energy. Anybody can become vitamin deficient meat eaters or not you just need to supplement.

I went vegetarian at a similar age and unfortunately, listening to everyone else’s opinions and comments on your diet choices just becomes part of it. It sounds like she’s still having a healthy and balanced diet and probably more so than most kids her age, I wouldn’t worry about that. Like someone else said, when people get judgemental about vegetarians/vegans etc. it often seems to come from a place of guilt. The best approach is to just roll your eyes and ignore it, but if they don’t stop, politely tell them to F-off.

Yes the protein intake was my first thought and main concern, which I told her and said she would need to be open to trying more protein rich foods and eat them more regularly.
she has always has a lot of dairy and continues to drink milk and eat yogurt and cheeses every day. She also eats nuts and seeds every day no problem. Chickpeas, lentils and beans are also main features in her diet and she eats meals that include chickpeas, lentils or beans at least twice a week.
It is something I think about with all of her meals, so if I can include some pine nuts to dinner or chopped nuts to breakfast for example, then I will.
she goes on and off with eggs so will occasionally have a boiled egg.
I have no idea if this is enough but she seems to be doing alright.

The only issue here is your families response to her, and saying those sorts of hurtful things infront of her, is going to be damaging, if they don't get told to stfu. Undermining her choices isn't fair, and could cause her to have major self doubt and confidence issues later in life. My DD is vegetarian too, youngest isn't, nor are me or DH. Dd decided she wanted to be vegetarian around the age of 5, after asking where meat came from, making that connection, and choosing not to consume it. She's now 9, and hasn't touched meat since that day she announced she wouldn't eat it again, so I really feel she's in it for life. We support her, and accommodate her dietary needs, and she definitely appreciates the effort we go to to ensure she gets a healthy vegetarian diet. She will quote happily eat meat substitutes, so that does make most meals easier, and we will often all have the veggie option, if doing chilli, spagbol etc. I do worry about making sure she's getting enough nutrients, she has a daily multivit and iron, and we use the engevita flakes in her food for added vitamins and b12. If she's having a particularly fussy phase, I have to gently remind her that being vegetarian is fine, but she needs to look after herself, and ensuring she can stay veggie longterm, means she has to be open to trying new foods, making sure she eats lots of green veggies, and getting protein from other sources, and she usually then makes more of an effort to eat the things she knows are important to help her grow and stay healthy.

They are not especially elderly but are older. SIL is in her early 50s and has the same attitude. Think it’s just how and where they were brought up as they do seem to be stuck a couple of decades behind the rest of us LOL

Why does she need to try fish when there is protein in beans, nuts and vegetables?

Some have even more protein than some meats without the extra saturated fats.

Oh I'm in my early 50s I'm glad I'm progressive 😄

Sorry but I do think it is wrong and concerning for any child to adopt this kind of lifestyle at such a young age.

Yes we are living in the era of the food fad. The unhealthy attitudes of adults are filtering down to children, and no wonder, I hear discussions everywhere I go. " Oh I am gluten intolerant because I do one too many farts if I eat wheat". "Oh my child is lactose intolerant, milk is the demon enemy". Children are absorbing all this nonsense because they are hearing it literally everywhere, as am I.
The difference is these crazy adults had a chance to grow and develop properly before they adopted all this new faddy bullshit nonsense. It is just such a pity that children are no longer awarded the same timeframe of maturity and growth before being sucked in to this crazy rubbish of the latest food trend of the time.

All you nutcases endorsing this are just happy your managing to brainwash more sheep to your cause.

Food Fads! The newest addition to Cults of the day and children are the biggest victims!

Being vegetarian isn't faddy eating its just eating.

Totally

That was in relation to Mrsjayy

I’m going to assume this is a frothy piss take because that’s the only way to read it.

Go to India and tell them their lifestyle is a new fad 🤣

@Betterbear I can't eat a lot of pulses because they upset my stomach, having a food intolerance isn't being faddy people generally have stomach discomfort it's not a case of too many farts!

Well yes there Is also this .

Bollocks!

If I hadn't "allowed" my teenage DD to follow a vegetarian diet she would still be in the throes of anorexia. It was the diet she wanted to follow when she reluctantly agreed to (slowly) begin eating properly again.

Or do you think I should have just tried to force an unwanted meat diet, which would have resulted in her continued starvation?

She is now a lot better and that was a few years ago, although it will always be an issue to be wary of. She eats well on her veggie diet.

Tbh (and I say this as an occasional meat eater) I think its wrong to feed children meat at all if it can be avoided - until they are old enough to choose for themselves.

What kid wants to eat cows and pigs? Knowing what they are? Most would never touch meat if it wasn't foisted on them early on.

I remember being horrified when I found out what bacon was. Tried to give up meat but there just wasn't alternatives back then for a low income family.

I think we need to break the cycle of eating meat tbh. Its a barbaric and unnecessary practice that is destroying our planet. So even though I'm not fully veggie, I'd raise my child as one until thry were old enough to make choices for themselves.

My daughter decided to become vegetarian age 6. I am vegetarian, my husband wasn't at the time, but is now. Prior to this we did try to offer her meat once a week, but she never really liked it and once connecting it to where it came from she became even less keen to eat it. She is perfectly healthy, energetic and growing. For protein she eats dairy, pulses, eggs, nuts and seeds. I once had someone tell me she couldn't be a godparent to her friend's child (friend had asked her) because they were bringing her up vegetarian and she didn't believe in it! I was quite amused at the thought of believing in vegetarianism or not. It's not a religion! Anyway, I fully expect my daughter to become vegan at some point as she is very into animals, wants to save the planet etc. That would concern me slightly, simply because she is already very fussy so it would be hard to make sure her diet was nutritionally balanced. Also it would probably guilt me into doing it, and I love cheese. But no worries at all with her being vegetarian. All has been fine.

🤣

Not sure about this TBH. I know someone who was raised veggie and never ate meat. As an adult she decided to eat it but couldn't digest it as she hadn't developed the right gut bacteria or whatever as a child. So you can take away the option of eating meat if they want to later, which I think is unfair. The odd bit of meat here and there will give them the option.

Lols. @Betterbear did you last watch kids' TV in the 80s when they were limited to Phil Schofield in the broom cupboard or something? Kids with a library card and a netflix subcription can pursue veeeeerrry diverse interests and become quite knowledgeable

I say this as someone with a 6yo who knows ten times more about ancient Egypt than me and can give detailed lectures on the deforestation connected to palm oil and its impact on orangutans

Knowing gelatin is in sweets is also very common if you're taking birthday treats in to share with kids who might be veggie or only eat halal/kosher food

I mean, that’s just obviously ridiculous.