AIBU to still expect them to pay their share of the holiday?

[somethingunpredictable2012]

We have booked a holiday for 4 families (been booked and planned for over a year), however one couple have announced they are expecting and so won’t be coming on the holiday as baby will be 2/3 months old when holiday comes round so they don’t want to go. The couple have paid the deposit but the balance of the holiday is now due. They haven’t mentioned paying their share of the rest of the cost of the holiday and when asked about the holiday at the time of their pregnancy announcement they simply said “oh yeh, we won’t be coming now, which is a shame, but never mind there will be other holidays”. Their conception and pregnancy has been difficult (no one was aware they were even trying for a baby previous to the announcement) and so bringing up the money/holiday has been difficult due to the issues they have had as there never seems to be a good time. But with the balance of the holiday now due and myself and DH having booked the holiday we are liable for the full amount if the other couple don’t pay their agreed part of the holiday. (Lesson learned never to do that again!). One couple have already paid their share in full and don’t want to pay anymore to split the cost of the 4th couple not coming. The other couple think we should just split the cost between us and suck up the extra cost (£800) so as not to put any more pressure on the couple not coming. The couple have ignored all messages relating to paying the final payment, but DH thinks they should pay up and I should contact them directly and insist they pay their share as agreed. I hate confrontation and don’t want to add to their issues if they are having a difficult pregnancy, but at the same time I don’t think it’s fair they just assume we will all now pay their share, as that wasn’t the cost we all agreed to and we could have actually found somewhere smaller which would have been cheaper. Obviously trying for a baby isn’t always easy or predictable but they would have known this may happen when we booked the holiday, but didn’t mention anything and they seem to have just washed their hands of it like it’s no longer their problem it’s now ours to sort out. It’s obviously causing a lot of tension between everyone involved. What would you do? Is it unreasonable to still expect they pay their share even if they don’t want to come anymore?

They are selfish cunts for not paying, expecting you all to pick up the tab!

I can't imagine anything worse than having a random family thrown into the house at the last minute. I really wouldn't suggest they impose a replacement on you. Either you get the cancelling couple to cough up or you split their share between the 3 couples.

They are awful people if they have washed their hands of this and expect you all to pay £800 extra. They need to pay up, them having a baby isn't your problem, I'd be very angry if I was one of the couples. If they still refuse when directly asked I'd be removing them from your circle of friends, friends don't don't do that. Having a baby isn't an excuse, if they were trying for a baby they shouldn't have agreed to go, fine book a holiday for yourself and suck up losing it if you fall pregnant, don't agree to a group holiday and drop out forcing others to foot the bill, it's entitled behaviour.

This. If they had booked a holiday themselves then had the baby they would be liable for the whole amount or maybe if they had concelled much earlier only a part of the cost.

@mast0650 this is a good approach

CF friends will probably argue that others should pay extra, as they will benefit from the extra space in the villa

I don't buy that, BTW

THIS, 100%.

They do not get to evade their financial responsibilities. If they are going to be parents, they need to start adulting, and fast. Disgraceful behaviour on their part.

Everyone else needs to be unanimous on this.

I was thinking this.

Send them the bill and let them sort it.

You can't always change the names of the travellers without incurring some penalty.

Can you just say to them we've discussed it as a group and the majority view is we can't afford to cover the costs of you not coming. So can you let us know what you want to do please, either 1) pay the balance and don't come; 2) pay the balance and join; 3) find someone else to take your spot and pay the balance [assuming booking company will allow this]. Plus appropriate gentle words (sorry to bother you when your mind will obviously be on the baby etc etc but unfortunately the balance is due...).

If they refuse to pay that would be friendship over for me, to be honest that they didn't even tell you all up front they wouldn't coming would have made me rethink our relationship, that's pretty off in itself....

Me too.

I would go the small claims route. I wouldn’t want to stay friends with a couple who are prepared to do this, especially the sticking their heads in the sand. So I would tell them you need their contribution by Friday, and that if they don’t provide it or engage in a conversation about how they are going to compensate you, you’ll take them to court.

If they don’t come to their senses and pay up look at the CAB’s advice on making a claim: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/legal-system/small-claims/
It’s not at all onerous, though it is written as though you’re suing a tradesman or company, so you may have to look at it a little flexibly (your friend wont’ have a dispute resolution policy, for instance, but you can still document that you’ve contacted multiple times asking about what they want to do about the holiday).

Invite another couple/family?

Surely someone will step in

When are you going?I'll come😂

When they paid a deposit each couple entered into a contract and whatever mishaps occur they are still liable for the balance, had a couple split each person would have still been liable.
When we booked a holiday with another family and then suddenly got a sale on our house and decided not to go so we could keep chivvying solicitors etc. it never even occurred to us not to pay our share!

I'd let your dh speak to them. I'd also message the group saying if the cost isn't covered you all can't go to be clear it doesn't fall on you

I don't get this, obviously I'm not social enough, but surely it would require a lot of luck to have some additional friends who are friends with everyone going on the holiday, available on the week in question, and want to go to this destination spending this amount of money - if there's anyone like that, they'd probably have been invited in the first place.

Otherwise, you'd be inviting someone who is friends with some, not all of the attendees, which is a bit shit for those going who would be sharing a house with a stranger.

I'd just split the difference with the other families and ask the pregnant couple to contribute. Copy everyone into the message.

What ALWAYS gets me about these cheeky fucker situations is the fact that they don't mind putting you in an awkward position.

Just water off a ducks back or what??

This.

I want to know who the 7% are who think the op is unreasonable! Justify your answer please

Absolutely this. It’s cheap enough to issue a claim online. The friendship will be dead anyway.

Definitely agree with splitting 4 ways. But the pessimist in me read it as £800 per 3 couples. So is their share £2400?

I don’t think this is going to leave the friendship unscathed.

True ... but what I meant was that, as first -time parents, they may not realise what a golden opportunity they're passing up. When mine were babies, I would have given my eye teeth for a holiday with 4-6 people who would actually take the baby and let me relax by myself for 10 minutes 😉