AIBU to still expect them to pay their share of the holiday?

[somethingunpredictable2012]

We have booked a holiday for 4 families (been booked and planned for over a year), however one couple have announced they are expecting and so won’t be coming on the holiday as baby will be 2/3 months old when holiday comes round so they don’t want to go. The couple have paid the deposit but the balance of the holiday is now due. They haven’t mentioned paying their share of the rest of the cost of the holiday and when asked about the holiday at the time of their pregnancy announcement they simply said “oh yeh, we won’t be coming now, which is a shame, but never mind there will be other holidays”. Their conception and pregnancy has been difficult (no one was aware they were even trying for a baby previous to the announcement) and so bringing up the money/holiday has been difficult due to the issues they have had as there never seems to be a good time. But with the balance of the holiday now due and myself and DH having booked the holiday we are liable for the full amount if the other couple don’t pay their agreed part of the holiday. (Lesson learned never to do that again!). One couple have already paid their share in full and don’t want to pay anymore to split the cost of the 4th couple not coming. The other couple think we should just split the cost between us and suck up the extra cost (£800) so as not to put any more pressure on the couple not coming. The couple have ignored all messages relating to paying the final payment, but DH thinks they should pay up and I should contact them directly and insist they pay their share as agreed. I hate confrontation and don’t want to add to their issues if they are having a difficult pregnancy, but at the same time I don’t think it’s fair they just assume we will all now pay their share, as that wasn’t the cost we all agreed to and we could have actually found somewhere smaller which would have been cheaper. Obviously trying for a baby isn’t always easy or predictable but they would have known this may happen when we booked the holiday, but didn’t mention anything and they seem to have just washed their hands of it like it’s no longer their problem it’s now ours to sort out. It’s obviously causing a lot of tension between everyone involved. What would you do? Is it unreasonable to still expect they pay their share even if they don’t want to come anymore?

"Dear CF couple,

The balance of the holiday is now due.

We have looked into changing the holiday to a cheaper one for only three families and unfortunately this is not possible with the same company, so our only options are to go ahead with the holiday or cancel and lose the deposit, which would cost the rest of us more than your share.

Unfortunately this means you are going to need to pay the balance otherwise the rest of us will be £800 out of pocket and we cannot afford this.

Please pay your share ASAP. If we manage to find another family to take your place we will refund you your share. Alternatively, let us know if you've changed your mind and wish to come on the holiday after all."

“and likely don’t have the money spare now their expecting a child”

The other couples already have children.

All these long winded and over explaining suggestions are just silly when they've already ignored you several times.

"Hi X couple,
We still haven't received your £800, we know you're not coming but you'll still need to pay as you can't expect us to do so.
Thanks"

A couple of messages have been sent to the whole group specifying who needs to pay what by when. They just aren’t replying…

They are probably assuming they are off the hook as it's not been directly addressed to them.

You need to find the courage to be direct about it and ask outright.

They need to pay.

No long winded dithering messages required.

Just post in the group chat:

'@CFCouple, still waiting on your £800 balance, please let me know when to expect it.'

You don't think letting your friends be £800 out of pocket because you changed your mind about a holiday is likely to sour relations?

The only way for relations not to be soured is for CF couple to pay up.

I might contact them directly and ask if they need the holiday details if they are going to claim on insurance for their share of the holiday- but that obviously you’ll still need them to pay for their share of the total amount and then claim it back.

their insurance is unlikely to cover this, but it opens the conversation on that you expect them to cover the costs for them cancelling, not you.

separately, I’d contact the other couples and ask if they know anyone who might be interested in buying baby couple’s spaces.

“I might contact them directly and ask if they need the holiday details if they are going to claim on insurance for their share of the holiday- but that obviously you’ll still need them to pay for their share of the total amount and then claim it back.”

This is way too indirect (and opens it up to then saying “oh we asked but couldn’t claim so not going to pay”@)

I would avoid any mention of their insurance, or finding someone else to take their place, or anything to do with the baby or whether they might want to come after all.

None of that is your problem, and if they're adults they can figure that out themselves.

The only thing that is really your problem is that you're out of pocket £800 and they owe you.

Send a very simple message, reminding them they need to pay £800 by x. Don't pussyfoot around it. It's not rude to remind people they owe you money.

Personally I find it weird that you approached the other couples asking them to split it, and are annoyed with one of them for saying no. Why did you feel ok asking two couples to split £800 that they don't even owe, but too awkward to directly ask CF couple to pay money they do owe?

I'm sorry you're in this position. It sucks that you tried to do something nice for your friends and they have spoiled it.

Perfect

I think it's simple. Eiher they pay or you all cancel and lose your deposits. Set up a WA and put it to the group.

However, have you tried contacting the company and see if they'd convert you to a 3 bed place? They've got 4 X the deposit amount to put towards the cost so may not really care.

They're being foolish though. 2/3 months is the ideal time to travel with a baby and they will need a nice break with lots of people to hold the baby by then.

Alternatively, you could work harder to try to persuade CF couple to go? They may not have thought it through.

After all, the mother will be on mat leave, the baby will be out of the difficult newborn stage, and the villa will be overflowing with trusted friends who have experience with kids and who could be asked to take the baby now and then. Sounds ideal.

Sorry missed you've tried converting it to a 3 bed villa! I'm surprised they wouldn't do this tbh if you're thinking about cancelling.

They're ignoring messages and behaving like absolute shitheads. My sympathy with them would stop there, and I'd happily unleash the hot-headed DH at that point. They deserve him.

You need to spell it out to them

My opinion is just that. If you book a holiday like this then you run that risk.

Leave your own comment without quoting mine. The purpose of the forum is to garner different ideas/suggestions, not to jump on people contributing in good faith to try and enforce your one ‘allowable’ opinion!

They should pay of course but I don't think they will. They are probably thinking well we've lost our deposit and they'll have to pay a bit more but they'll have an extra room.

If it's £800 between the three other families and they refuse to pay, you'll have to either split three ways or lose your deposit and that's all there is to it, unless you find another family.

“Alternatively, you could work harder to try to persuade CF couple to go? They may not have thought it through. “

Well, this is up to them - one of the messages above that says “you need to pay - it would be great if you change your mind and come” covers this.

I'd take them to small claims if they refuse to pay. Who the hell do they think they are expecting everyone else to suck up paying their £800 share.

Oh of course..but it doesn't make sense for them to pay the other couples share. At all.

It does IMHO. Because the other couple aren't going.

Ask them what they want to do about the outstanding payment due. Send them a message with some options, wording it to make it clear that they need to decided what to do. Do they want to phone the holiday company to see if their booking can be removed? Do they want to find another couple to take their place (would need to be someone you guys would know and like), or do they just want to pay their share and decide closer to the time whether they go? If they ignore your message again, give them a call and leave a voicemail to say sorry to chase, but the payment is due and you want to know their decision asap, to avoid them incurring a cost without having a plan.

Can you call the company and explain? You may be able to downsize.

So they don't pay for a holiday they're not going on.

you do realise the quote function is there for a reason?
you don’t get to dictate how others post, just because you dislike the fact they’ve pointed out the (very obvious) flaw in your reasoning 😂