To think that 15 is too old for a babysitter?

[LadyGodiva4]

My sister has asked me to babysit my 15 year old (who has no disability/learning difficulties) this weekend. It's not terribly convenient for me, but I will do it as I generally think it's nice to be helpful to family where possible, but what rubs me up the wrong way is that I don't think a 15 year really needs supervision.

They heavily supervise all her homework which I find bizarre, as I think she really is old enough to be getting on with it herself. When we were her age we were making our money babysitting. AIBU to think it's a bit annoying to ask for a favour like that, when it's not really necessary, and would you let your 15 year old stay in for the evening (not overnight, just till say 11pm)?

Oh I see - good memory or slightly creepy advance searching! Yeah I think that influenced things but I honestly did not mind working and I didn't feel I missed out on anything.

Tbh it depends on the child. My son was fine at 12/13. My nephew would have burnt the house down at 17/18 😂

So does mine. There would need to be a very good reason why a 15 year old can’t stay home till 11 on their own.

but when it impacts my only free time outside of my very busy job I do begrudge it slightly

No is a complete sentence. If you don’t want to collude in their restrictive parenting ideals, then don’t.

I’d say …exactly when will they allow their daughter to manage by herself? Do they not think this is a great opportunity to start that process. Explain you’re really worried that they are not, in their concern to keep her safe, actually not teaching her how to keep herself safe and that could have more serious consequences . See what they say, if they don’t see sense, just say no you won’t babysit because, as you’ve just said, you don’t think it’s a good idea.

However, do say (if it’s practical) that your niece can stay at home by herself, call you any time, video call if she needs reassurance or help or encouragement, and if an emergency arose you’d go straight around. Provide an alternative that still helps them, but stick to your guns that you won’t “babysit” as it’s not helping her to become independent

If the issue around fire comes up, point out that kids as young as 4 do fire drills at schools, she knows that she must exit , and haven’t the done a few fire drills at home as family so she knows what alarm sounds like and safe exit routes. If they start saying she’ll panic in an emergency, say adults panic too when they’re scared or meet unexpected stuff. The ones that do best are those that can think for themselves and have done so form an early age.

I don't see why you'd need a babysitter past the age of 11. I'd be left with some food to reheat or a ready meal if I was home alone for an evening in Year 7.

Has your sister used the word incorrectly and is actually concerned that her daughter would turn the house into party central while she was away and wants you there so it would not happen?

At 15 I had multiple babysitting jobs and a waiting list of parents who wanted me to babysit regularly for them.

That’s a result of archive who is not allowed to spend time by herself and become confident and self sufficient

we all have times as an adult when her are bored and a bit lonely. Stop teaching her that other people will rescue her from those feelings rather than her figuring how to rescue herself . It’s like boredom, don’t parents realise they need to teach their kids that boredom is part of life and only the child can take action to stop their boredom

i live on my own, I get frights in the night form noises . Just becuase I’m 15, 25 or 55 it won’t a. Make me less scared b. Make me better at handling that fear c. Making a call to 999 if I do think someone has broken in.

jeez, less than a hundred years ago my gran was living away form home, in service, doing so,e pretty risky things with risky equipment in a kitchen amd responsible for serving up a families meal and lighting all the fires in the early hours of the morning. Kids today are no less competent- it’s the bloody parents who protect them and keep them for, growing up independently

I do wish someone had made me do my homework at 15, don't be mad at your sister for how she brings up her child she is trying her best. Yes I was left alone much younger and yes I did things I shouldn't then but lied a lot to be unsupervised overnight but this isn't about how others did things at a different time. NSPCC guidance says best not to leave under 16 alone for the night, I am sure a lot depends on the child, the parent and where they live. Your sister is being present as a mother and should be respected for that, if you have your niece to stay I am sure it is a sleepover rather than babysitting and you won't have to do her homework.

i wouldn’t be surprised if something may have happened to this girl which makes her parents very protective and her not went to be alone.

how often does this actually happen op?

an evening alone with your lovely niece? Sounds fun

My 15 year old is the babysitter !