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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that 15 is too old for a babysitter?

161 replies

LadyGodiva4 · 16/05/2023 15:02

My sister has asked me to babysit my 15 year old (who has no disability/learning difficulties) this weekend. It's not terribly convenient for me, but I will do it as I generally think it's nice to be helpful to family where possible, but what rubs me up the wrong way is that I don't think a 15 year really needs supervision.

They heavily supervise all her homework which I find bizarre, as I think she really is old enough to be getting on with it herself. When we were her age we were making our money babysitting. AIBU to think it's a bit annoying to ask for a favour like that, when it's not really necessary, and would you let your 15 year old stay in for the evening (not overnight, just till say 11pm)?

OP posts:
AnnPerkins · 16/05/2023 15:47

Hate the only child comments Angry

We leave our 13yo only child on his own.

CaptainMyCaptain · 16/05/2023 15:48

pinkyredrose · 16/05/2023 15:06

How ridiculous. A 15yr old should BE a babysitter not require one!

Exactly.

loislovesstewie · 16/05/2023 15:49

The problem is that she won't become more mature if she isn't allowed to do perfectly reasonable activities. I hope she isn't going to be an 18 year old who goes to university and can't cope. I've met a few of those.

Sugargliderwombat · 16/05/2023 15:50

I think you could advocate for your Niece a little here and suggest you pop in that evening to check she's OK? Rather than spend the whole evening. Does she have friends ? Imagine being picked up from swimming at 15!

Nordicrain · 16/05/2023 15:52

Our DC's babysitter is 14 😂

Unless it's because her daughter doesn't feel happy to be at home alone and wants some company - in which case you aren't really baby sitting but rather keeping her company. That might be fair enough.

YourApplePie · 16/05/2023 16:01

I don't leave my 15 yr old DD home alone for the evening... maybe an hour or 2 if I go to the gym or supermarket.

WoolyMammoth55 · 16/05/2023 16:02

We employ a 15 year old to babysit our kids! :) It's pretty odd of your sister and I feel like it might be worth gently suggesting to her that your niece might be fine alone for the evening - you can offer to check in with her by phone and head over if she needs anything?

ZeroFuchsGiven · 16/05/2023 16:02

YourApplePie · 16/05/2023 16:01

I don't leave my 15 yr old DD home alone for the evening... maybe an hour or 2 if I go to the gym or supermarket.

Why not?

YourApplePie · 16/05/2023 16:04

ZeroFuchsGiven · 16/05/2023 16:02

Why not?

Show quote history

She wouldn't like it. I've asked!

She'll either go to a friend or her grandparents, or (usually) try to tag along if I'm doing something interesting.

Season0fTheWitch · 16/05/2023 16:05

I had an aunty pop over for dinner at that age if I was left at home alone. We got on really well and she didn't havd kids at the time so it was fun, I didn't need her there but it meant I wasnt't lonely. I was also given lifts to and from anything I wanted to go to and I didn't turn out socially inept or spoilt.

Maybe your niece was asked and said yes to having a 'babysitter'. But you'll surely just watch tv with her/in another room and just be there if needed?

ZeroFuchsGiven · 16/05/2023 16:06

YourApplePie · 16/05/2023 16:04

She wouldn't like it. I've asked!

She'll either go to a friend or her grandparents, or (usually) try to tag along if I'm doing something interesting.

Show quote history

Sorry my question sounded aggressive, it didnt mean to!

What wouldn't she like about it?

Fiddlerdragon · 16/05/2023 16:07

Pmsl I’m waiting for my just turned 15yo to get home from school to watch her 5yo brother so I can go start my second shift! She’s been watching him since she was 14.

YourApplePie · 16/05/2023 16:08

ZeroFuchsGiven · 16/05/2023 16:06

Sorry my question sounded aggressive, it didnt mean to!

What wouldn't she like about it?

Show quote history

She doesn't really like being home alone. She'd be fine with a friend.

PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 16/05/2023 16:08

My 15 year old babysits for various local kids. This is bonkers, and will do the 15 year old no favours in the long run

BarbaraofSeville · 16/05/2023 16:08

But it's not really my place to comment on her parenting, but when it impacts my only free time outside of my very busy job I do begrudge it slightly (although I am very fond of my niece!!)

So why do it then?

DSis: Can you pick DN up from swimming on Tuesday at 7 because we're both working late.

You: Soz, no can do, but can't she just get the bus like any other 15 YO?

Easy.

Lemons1571 · 16/05/2023 16:09

I wouldn’t leave ours until the oldest child present in the house is 16. I believe 16 is the legal age of responsibility, so we go with that.

Too nervous to do otherwise (with good reason that is too outing to disclose on here).

HereAndNowAgain · 16/05/2023 16:10

We used to pay a 15y old to babysit our kids.

Dulra · 16/05/2023 16:10

She doesn't need a babysitter but maybe just wants some company rather than being homs alone. I can understand that, you've agreed to do it so just go with it now, maybe next time they ask suggest she asks a mate to keep her company

MakesMeFeelSad · 16/05/2023 16:14

Both my older ones were babysitting younger brothers from younger than that

Runnerduck34 · 16/05/2023 16:15

How long is she beimg left alone for? A few hours in the evening is fine, assuming no SEN, but if its overnight or a weekend away your niece may appreciate company. Does DN want you to come over?
Also depends where they live, in a town, village with neighbours or in middle of nowhere and isolated. So context is everything but does sound like overprotective parents.

gamerchick · 16/05/2023 16:17

Lol poor kid. Be off like a rocket as soon as they're old enough to get away from parents.

maddiemookins16mum · 16/05/2023 16:19

God help her going off to Uni in 3 years.

larlypops · 16/05/2023 16:22

I was babysitting and working as a waitress at that age, obviously different now with job laws but i’d 💯 leave a 15 year old for an evening unless they wanted to come hang out.

Starintheshow · 16/05/2023 16:22

Well she definitely doesn't need a babysitter, but is it possible that the dd just like coming over and having company?

Or do her parents just want to house to themselves maybe?

watcherintherye · 16/05/2023 16:26

When mine were about 12/13/14, and I could already see the writing on the wall(!), I remember being in awe of a friend who had been agonising over whether to let her 15yr old son go to the Reading Festival that year. She did, and all was fine. Sometimes you have to feel the fear and let them do it anyway, to paraphrase the book title! So, yes, totally unreasonable (not to say damaging) to be organising a sitter for a 15yr old. Is she particularly nervous/anxious? Is the request coming from her?