To think that 15 is too old for a babysitter?

[LadyGodiva4]

My sister has asked me to babysit my 15 year old (who has no disability/learning difficulties) this weekend. It's not terribly convenient for me, but I will do it as I generally think it's nice to be helpful to family where possible, but what rubs me up the wrong way is that I don't think a 15 year really needs supervision.

They heavily supervise all her homework which I find bizarre, as I think she really is old enough to be getting on with it herself. When we were her age we were making our money babysitting. AIBU to think it's a bit annoying to ask for a favour like that, when it's not really necessary, and would you let your 15 year old stay in for the evening (not overnight, just till say 11pm)?

I have a just turned 14 year old. I wouldn’t worry about her being left for the evening but she would hate it as it’s quiet and in the dark. She’s fine on her own in the day but even then only for a few hours.

Why would an only child come into it?
Do you normally stereotype so badly.

They need to get her trained up t be as independent as she can be by the time she’s 18. They aren’t doing her any favours by doing everything for her. eg lifts when she should be using public transport etc.

At 15 I was babysitting all the local neighbourhood kids. I made a fortune in my last 3 years of school. I don’t think a 15 year old needs babysitting but they would need their phone on and all the close neighbours numbers to hand.

As 15 I was the babysitter for neighbours. YANBU

Interesting. The gap between helicopter/mollycoddle parents, whose 18 year olds won’t have a scooby when they find themselves having to cook their own tea, wash their own pants and remembering to do the green cross code before they cross the road, versus 12 year olds, who can efficiently manage their own finances and leave the house at 9am on a Saturday not returning until 9pm having hung out with their mates, been shopping, replied to parental texts with singular letters or acronyms, and bought their own lunch, tea and snacks. Unless this 15 year old has SN or challenging behaviour that renders them untrustworthy, then hell no they do not need a sitter.

During the summer hols, my then 11 year old had an issue going to the childminder (with my then 7 year old) who lived over the road. We agreed that he could stay at home while I was at work provided he checked in with CM for lunch and tea and if he wanted to play out he had to check with CM first and be back at the given time. Another parent who’s 13 year old was forced to attend the same CM objected to my ‘lax’ parenting. Granted she was a police officer, thus was cautious of her childcare choices. Once I explained to her how bored out of her mind her daughter was for 10 hours a day with a CM who predominantly cared for toddlers, and that she got off the school bus four stops away to pretend she was going home so her friends wouldn’t laugh at her, the parent reassessed her view and realised she could trust her very sensible 13 to be home alone for three hours.

Hahahhahha I was the babysitter at this age. Poor girl. No wonder kids have a bad rep these days all trigger warnings galore. Jeez

Perhaps something very distressing has happened to your niece that you are unaware of.

has that occurred to you?

Could it be that your niece gets nervous being in the house alone, and just wants the company, rather than needing looking after? I think that's understandable at that age.

I wouldn't let my 15 year old stay home alone overnight but have no problem with her being home alone in the evening if we're out.

I hear ya!

How old are you?

i am early forties and I wasn’t working at 15 and none of my friends were either. Odd bit of babysitting but nothing more!

what was your job at 15??

16 year olds can join the armed forces. 15 year olds don't need babysitters.

I am the same age as you - maybe younger as I am 40 - and I worked in a newsagent from 14. An after school stocking up shift and a Sunday morning one

Absolutely this! Nothing worse than when you see 18 year olds that have been woefully unprepared in how to ‘adult’ and don’t have the first clue about anything.

At 15 I was working as a silver service waitress to earn my own money, dog walking, baby sitting, helping leading Girl Guide camps, and it was the first time my parents went on holiday for a week and left me in charge the whole time - I literally couldn’t WAIT to get rid of them to have the house to myself for 7 days! I had my little brother to look after who was 13, but it was no hardship - we had a fabulous time together! Neighbours both sides if we needed them, emergency phone numbers to hand etc etc. We talk fondly of it as our coming of age - we walked to and from school together anyway since starting grammar, but decided what meals to cook on what nights, did laundry and cleaning, ordered in pizza one night, even had a party over the weekend we christened the ‘bacon bash’ as it was a ‘bring your own’ but bacon instead of alcohol - we just spent all night taking it in turns to grill and then chain-eat bacon sandwiches whilst listening to music/watching films/playing computer games/sitting around the firepit stargazing. I still remember the spread I put on - pink lemonade, Coca-Cola and fruit juices to make mocktails, then every single sauce and condiment from the fridge/kitchen cupboards as dressings - there were some really weird combos!! It was like our very own Home Alone sequel. We still have bacon bashes now as adults when we get together (albeit usually to nurse hangovers…)

We were raised to be very independent, resilient and self-reliant though, so our parents were never worried about us - we wanted the freedom. And as a result we were always the most mature, reliable and streetsmart ones at uni; I shared halls in my first year of law school with a girl who didn’t know how to peel a potato! And not because they had a home chef or anything - her mum never let her handle knives/blades in the kitchen so never taught her to cook.

Very sad, worrying and frankly dangerous when parents are that stifling they don’t adequately prep teenagers for the real world and give them a chance to grow. YANBU - if your sister won’t parent responsibly please be the responsible aunt and teach your niece some life skills, and perhaps use this opportunity to make a start on that. Have fun with it too!

Theres babysitting and there's staying about with someone until late in the night, possibly her daughter asked for it. (my 15yo ds sometimes says 'oh are you all going, I'll go too and dh once says he may just not like being in the house on his own!) tabu to judge (but fair enough that you had plans for your weekend!)

Bloomin heck

at 14… after school I was either playing sport (hockey and netball) or watching home & away or starting on my homework.

and my 14 year olds the same (not home and away though I’m sad to say!).

decades of working ahead of them. Many many decades.

That poor girl is going to be eaten alive in the real world

It was entirely my choice! And not that much time, I still had plenty of time to do other things. I only worked 2 hours after school and 4 on Sundays.

I did guides, orchestra, instrument lessons, drama classes, got into a great university..

Out of interest, do you have teens and do they work?

On another thread you said you were basically forced into work because your mum was so penny pinching that you hated it, never got what you want and also found it very embarrassing.
I probably would have done the same in your shoes

I don't have teens.

I am open minded on the topic when mine are old enough.

Why does it suprise you so much that I had a job?

It doesn’t surprise me at all given your mothers approach to money

?

I was working on a market stall at the weekend and on weekdays during the school holidays at 15. Including running it single handedly at times.

I'd have been embarassed as hell if my parents had though I needed to be babysat at 15.

Girls need to be raised to be comfortable being on their own. Otherwise it leads to them being in unhealthy relationships just for the sake of having someone to be at home with them.