A 23 year old wants to be a stay at home wife?

[Ludlow2]

Friend's son had a girlfriend and both are 23.
She was keen to marry. Friend's son not so and his parents agreed.
Told him sort your career out,save up, find somewhere you will live. He agreed.
They split.
Both his parents work. My friend, his mother has always worked full-time and has a side business too. She is a great role model an although she is the breadwinner the father also works considerably hard.
Their children have and will benefit from this. They have also instilled good work ethic in their children too.
The friend's son and his ex girlfriend remained friends. She is keen to be with again and said she is happy.to wait and will continue with her studies maybe get a masters etc. She has then said that after marriage she does not want to work.

She thinks work is a want and not a need?

Obviously son Friend's son has run for the hills.
He did tell her it is impossible to survive on one income bla bla. But she just responded with we can move to a cheaper area and I'm not materlistic?

Im.just surprised at this attitude.

The girl's father left the family (Mother and siblings) whilst they were young.
Mother found another partner who comes and goes. Maybe it this why she is craving to be looked after by a man.
However, it sounds all so sad.

Am I not saying it right?

Over 80% of MN users voted that it was their preference if their household could afford it.

The question is not who are these 80%+ of people trying to convince. More, why can't you accept this is the case and keep pretending it's not what the gross majority would like?

@InceyWinceySpidy

What are your provisions for your pension?

Various assets. Which can either be utilised if necessary, or will be passed on to my cocklodging spongers .

You don’t have to describe your financial situation @InceyWinceySpidy

I know. I wouldn't give any real detail to someone who thinks women who choose not to work, to look after their family and home are female "cocklodgers" and spongers.

Not the sort of person to entertain in any depth. Always the first and loudest to laugh, because they think it gives the impression they are so very happy. It's very transparent.

But I appreciate you noting the manner of this poster

@InceyWinceySpidy

I didn't say it was the same

I don't think a poll on mumsnet about a day dream is relevant to reality

It's like saying that because a poll on mumsnet said 80% of people would like to live in London it must be true of the whole of society

It's interesting that you were saying early how sad it was others (in your opinion) couldn't cope with a different lifestyle choice.

Now it seems its you who can't cope with a different lifestyle choice. You're trying to convince yourself everyone is the same as you.

Commenting on posters perceived happiness from a post on mumsnet is a bit weird, dont you think?

Yet strangely the wealthiest and most privileged women, royalty, wives of high profile extremely successful men who could afford it, so often choose to do work of one sort or another. If that poll is to be given any credence, I'd imagine the women are speaking about the jobs they are currently in as oppose to a blanket rejection of any occupation outside of domestics. I don't think it proves that 4/5 women want to stay at home doing nothing all their lives, rather that a lot of jobs women are currently in are not satisfying to them, and combining them with childcare is stressful at times.

@ToK1 no way.

The vision pp had painted re. SAHM being trapped with an abusive partner with no way of getting out is simply not true. There are a lot of financial safety nets and support for people in this position.

For the average working woman with savings who has been abused… there’s sod all help. And the financial stress can be enormous. They are the ones more likely to feel trapped.

I expect she means that she wants to stay home with her future children. My mum was a stay at home wife and she’s possibly the best role model I could have wished for, she was also very well loved and admired by my friends too, they were quite jelous that when I got home from school she was always there and during the half term and I never had to go to a sitter or a crèche. I was very lucky growing up.
I’ve worked in crèches and cared for babies as young as 2 weeks old. Some came in at 7am and left at 7pm, it was a sad place to work some days. I know it’s not always possible for a parent to stay home but if it is possible then it’s a great option to have.

I genuinely think that you believe you are making sensible points that have some context and content.

You just make things up, from the way you've misread or misunderstood then announce them, as if anyone has said those things. Hence why I asked already if you only skim read.

But I really don't think you're doing it intentionally.

@ToK1 If you were referring to my post re the girl potentially milking the student finance tree dry… well everyone gets what they are entitled to, the failure is really with her parents, or lack of. Personally I will be proud to provide for my DC at Uni.

@InceyWinceySpidy

Yes, as I said.

Completely unable to cope with neing disagreed with.

You've made personal remarks about everyone who has disagreed with you.

Why so insecure and defensive?

@Robinni

I think your logic is a bit off

If people craved work then why do so many retire?

I still don’t know which post you were referring to so I can’t explain my logic.

@Zeonlywayisup

Because they're old?! Or older.

Average age of retirement is 64 for women

There's a fair few jobs it wouldn't be physically possible to do at that age

I never understand why people who dont want to work are so convinced no one does (except their high earning ohs of course! They always love it but apparently they don't count?)

I personally don't see the appeal of being unemployed but I can see why some like it.

Well of course they are talking about their actual situation, and not the hypothetical life of being the wife of someone like Prince William or Zuckerberg. How odd to have to state that, it really does go without saying.

It showed 4/5 of real life, working women would stop working and stay at home if their household could afford it.

@Robinni

Your logic that sahms will be ok because they can rely on the state but wms won't be because they can't

@InceyWinceySpidy

No it didn't.

It showed that those who answered that poll picked 1 option.

That's it.

You've no idea how many were in error. How many misread the question. How many were even employed. How many did it more than once. How many were having a shit day but would answer differently another day. How many didn't actually think through the consequences

It's meaningless lol.

Would you believe a poll that showed 80 % of men dont want to work?

You are tedious.

You make things up, then when people can't be arsed to keep explaining what you continue to misinterpret, you have your little "gotcha" moments. As if we can't possibly respond to your genius thought process, as opposed to can't be arsed to go through what you've professionally misinterpreted again.

And when this gets pointed out to you, it's the even more tedious "oooh, defensive eh?"

No. Just playing chess with pigeons. Google it. If you can manage not to misunderstand that as well...

@ToK1 I never understand why people who dont want to work are so convinced no one does. Oh I’m sorry I’ve completely misunderstood your posts. I thought you were maintaining that everyone should work and were convinced that everyone sensible wanted to.

@Zeonlywayisup

I dont care if people want to work or not lol.

I dont think people should be allowed to rely on the state if they choose not to work and I dont think its always a sensible or healthy choice.

If folk want to spend their lives flower arranging thats up to them.

It's the pretending that it's the ideal that everyone secretly wishes for or that people who do enjoy working are mugs thats the problem

@InceyWinceySpidy

Oh dear.

😆

who are all the 20 something year olds who don't work (through choice?) and how do they pay for living expenses? I have nieces and nephew in their 20s and all have taken time out to travel etc and one has had a sabatical from work, but they all have worked since college or uni. I have to admit I don't know many other people in their 20s but I know when I was in my 20s I didn't know any friends who actively chose not to work.