Can we start a poverty solidarity thread?

[Welcometotheterrorzone]

It often feels like MN is a different world and I can't actually talk to anyone in real life as people either don't get it or assume I'm trying to gain sympathy or ask for money.

I cannot wait until payday. Things I am doing without right now

• petrol
• squash
• milk
• biscuits
• shampoo

So worried that I'll need to drive somewhere and have to explain that I have no petrol. Currently walking everywhere. I know it's partly my fault as I went a bit far on the last payday and bought a shed, but obviously no one is going to offer me a 0% interest or repayment scheme due to my credit. Wish I could budget better. I think these dry spells make it worse though. You live with weeks with nothing and then my wages come in and I go a bit crazy. Another downside of being skint. Could ask father of children but I can't take the smugness. He took them out for pizza last night and they brought some home! Ravenously ate it in the kitchen whilst they weren't looking. It's mad that this is the reality. No one knows. I have a full time job, nice house, car in drive, dress well (charity shops), the kids look ok. How no one gets what it's like, waking up to nothing in the bank, dry cereal, panicking about if there's a non school uniform day. Please let me know what's going on for you so I don't feel so alone!

We live in the 6th richest country in the world and you are saying that shampoo and squash are luxuries? I am so sick of this absolute race to the bottom - maybe if we questioned where the wealth in the country is actually going instead of some competitive view of poverty we might be able to all enjoy a nice biscuit

We live in the 6th richest country in the world and you are saying that shampoo and squash are luxuries? I am so sick of this absolute race to the bottom - maybe if we questioned where the wealth in the country is actually going instead of some competitive view of poverty we might be able to all enjoy a nice biscuit

^^ indeed

I don’t disagree with this. My comment was more that I don’t think squash / juice etc as a main drink should be normalised for health reasons - squash can be very cheap but it’s so much better to drink water

Having grown up very poor and raising dc who are really pretty comfortable I think the element of choice is really important.
Growing up we had a strictly rationed amount of squash and it was very desirable.
My dc only have water in house but they can buy a Starbucks etc whenever the mood takes them outside of the house.
So they never complain about only having water because they can choose other high sugar things if they want and they understand it is a health issue.

If you left bikes under tarpaulins where I am, the scrap man would have taken it. Or someone else would have stolen them.
I live in a nice area too.
Also who wants to drink water all the time!
I would be in poverty if I couldn’t afford tea bags/shampoo.
I agree it’s shouldn’t be a race to the bottom.

They absolutely aren’t luxuries. Shampoo? Milk??

don’t punch down.

It absolutely shouldn't be a race to the bottom teabags, shampoo and milk are all very much basics in my eyes.
Squash and biscuits shouldn't be crazy luxuries either.

Raingo - So you're saying that the scrap man would come into your back garden via a locked gate and take bikes?

I think people who haven't been in the situation of an ongoing lack of money (careful phrasing here as "poverty" now seems to only mean "abject poverty/complete destitution" according to several posters) don't understand what it's like. It's MUCH, MUCH easier to set aside money for a rainy day or save up for big purchases when you know that you'll have a surplus every month. If you never have a surplus, and can only make savings by doing without and by scrimping and saving on every penny (and then getting those savings, which you managed to save up by living a boring, hard existence for months, wiped out by a single expense or, at the moment, by a couple of rapidly rising expensive food shops or energy bills), then it stops seeming like it's worth it. You buy the treats anyway, because otherwise your life is BLEAK. You buy the shed and go without other things until payday, because if you save up the money over months then something else will come along and use it up, and the bikes are still in the kitchen.

It is perfectly understandable that if people haven't been in this situation, then they might not get this, and will think "but why don't OP and people like her just make better choices with the money they have?" What is NOT understandable is coming here and posting all over the thread from your position of ignorance, haranguing her and telling her how much better you would manage in her position when you haven't been in it.

I'm sorry for your situation but 'poverty' is not the right word for it and it's insensitive to call it that. My dh grew up in poverty, there were never any purchases like sheds and no car ever.

How dare you tell OP what descriptions she should give of her situation, how she feels about it? Who the hell do you think you are?

Posters like you, smug and insufferable, piling on to threads to give the OP a kicking, are the absolute bane of this site.

this

Poverty is always relative.

Was your husband as poor as an Ethiopian child in the famine in the 80s? Or a Rohingyan refugee in Bangladesh today?

Totally. Nothing to do with the cost of living soaring, nothing to do with being a single parent. Only herself to blame!

It baffles me that in 2023, in the 6th richest nation in the world, people feel it acceptable to argue over whether a working mother should be able to afford a bike shed and milk and shampoo.

WTF is wrong with people? There is something very, very wrong if someone working full-time cannot afford to make a purchase of something like a shed and still manage basics for the month.

OP hasn't gone and bought a pony ffs. She bought a small shed. She should be able to buy a small shed without having to go without essentials.

What do you get out of piling on to the thread to tell the OP how feckless she is? What? Do say. I can then file that away and when I see you and your ilk frothing away and rubbing your thighs in delight, I can remember that there is actually a good reason...

It's amazing how many of you there are. You must have search-words for poverty and the like.

You have absolutely no right to tell the OP what words she can use. None.

Mindyourfingers - The OP chose to buy a shed. She could have saved up for it so that she wasn't struggling this month but she didn't. That is down to her.

Lyingwitch - She doesn't need to plead poverty then.

You can call it poor financial management and bad decisions. I think you’re a perfect candidate for programs like Dave Ransey baby steps which will help you understand where your money goes so you can track every single penny and close the wasteful gaps and then focus on building savings and wealth long term.

You already admit you don’t know how to budget so your priority should be to learn how to budget and also stick to the budget. You also need to work on delayed gratification, many people now can’t wait to get something; they have to get it now now now and that’s a very bad habit.

You also need to start thinking long term, many people have this grand image that they can spend all their money now and state pension will provide income for retirement, he’s it will but state pension is a small amount and many people are now aware of prepared we will be shocked when they retire.

I see this as rock bottom, you so hungry you have to eat ravenously eat left over pizza from your kids. That should be a wake up call for you to make changes.

My low moment was having to call in sick to work because I couldn’t afford to get there <tries to get thread back on track>

I was quite well paid at the time but living in a very expensive area and I just had too much month for my money.

How can someone without any surplus meaningfully budget if the cost of bills and food is going up month by month (or more quickly than that, in the case of food)? Why are people invested in the idea that a lack of money is down to personal failings rather than us being in a low-wage, high-inflation economic situation at the moment?

Something I forgot in my earlier post - another reason why it's very hard to save your way out of not having enough money is that once you get a bit of savings built up, you can buy the things that aren't absolute necessities but that would massively improve your day-to-day quality of life, like a hairdryer to replace the one that broke months ago, or some waterproof shoes that are actually waterproof, or an appointment with the dentist, or a decent coat.

For people who have been short of money for a prolonged period of time, there will likely be many of these things. They're not starting at zero - there's a hidden gap full of things which need replacing or repairing, so they're actually starting at below zero. In many cases the little amount of possible savings would be swallowed up before any wealth-building can occur.

I knew this thread would end in kicking someone when they are down already. One would think the OP had bought a Chanel handbag.