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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you allow a relative to stay if their dog wasn't house trained?

124 replies

Myotherusernameisshy · 16/05/2023 00:13

Just that really.
I had invited a relative to stay with us for a family wedding. He accepted but then told me his dog isn't housetrained. To be clear, we have dogs and are normally happy to have family bring their pets too but our dogs are all fully trained.
All our carpets are new - less than a month old - and the house is open plan so it's impossible to contain his dog while he is here. I've said he can't bring the dog but it looks like that will mean he misses the wedding so I feel guilty.

OP posts:
Redebs · 16/05/2023 00:15

No

ashitghost · 16/05/2023 00:15

Not a chance.

cheeseandketchupsandwich · 16/05/2023 00:15

I wouldn't allow the dog to come, housetrained or not.

Your relative needs to make other arrangements or miss the wedding - maybe they could use the time to actually train the dog

iamjustwinginglife · 16/05/2023 00:16

Nope-I'm a dog owner and definitely not!!

AnotherDelphinium · 16/05/2023 00:18

Nope! I’d never accept an invite if my dog wasn’t housetrained either, he’s a CF.

Beeswood · 16/05/2023 00:18

No

Shauna27 · 16/05/2023 00:18

I have 3 dogs - I absolutely love dogs - but no way would I want a dog who isn't house trained staying at my house. What a total nightmare that would be. Can't he just get a dog sitter and then stay at yours without his dog so that he can attend the wedding?

ChiefPearlClutcher · 16/05/2023 00:18

Not a chance.

StrawBeretMoose · 16/05/2023 00:19

No chance, he chose/chooses not to train the dog, not doing the dog or himself any favours.
He could possibly get a dog sitter to stay in his home but I can only imagine how it smells.

SirenSays · 16/05/2023 00:25

No, not in that situation. If there was no way to keep the dog off the carpets then they'd have to figure something else out.

CheeseTouch · 16/05/2023 00:27

No way, can’t he pay a dog sitter or put it in kennels if he wants to go?

SheilaFentiman · 16/05/2023 00:29

no. Amazed he would even think this was ok.

greenspaces4peace · 16/05/2023 00:30

i've been in this situation with family and once in an emergency i took in 4 puppies for a kennel (12 week old golden labs).
we used a crate and the dog/pups were in the crate or immediately outside.
zero time on the floor. it was tricky but we made it work.

IWantRebeccasConfidence · 16/05/2023 00:31

Fuck no

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 16/05/2023 00:35

What??? Not a fucking chance. Carpets or no carpets.

Whiteroomjoy · 16/05/2023 00:47

I’m an “ aunty” to a new pup, and great auntie to another. They do come over since 8 weeks. But they can be contained within a restricted area with hard floors and close to exit. They are pretty good but a few whoops moments when concentration goes or overexcited. I’m not a fan of dogs, but love their owners, so on hard floors I’ll handle itand owners good at cleaning and come with all emergency kit.

but they are banned from carpetted rooms. They don’t stay more than a few hours and come after a walk and loo break. No way would I have them staying over, and no way where carpets they couldn’t be kept off of.

im a bit ocd, I always clean up immediately after, even where just adult dogs, and it’s pretty disgusting how much hair there is in vacuum. But I handle it as it’s confined to one room.

it’s a no, not until they’re house trained..can he do that before wedding? How old are pups? If it’s a dog not house trained, no way - he’s a lazy git and careless to not have dealt with it.

bridgetreilly · 16/05/2023 00:54

It doesn’t mean he has to miss the wedding. It means he has to take responsibility for his dog and pay for appropriate care while he is away. If the dog isn’t house trained the options will be more limited.

But this is not your fault, why hasn’t he trained the dog?

Floralnomad · 16/05/2023 01:12

I find it odd that anyone thinks it’s acceptable to take an unhousetrained dog to someone else’s house . YANBU

Blondewithredlips · 16/05/2023 01:21

No and your relative is unreasonable to even think of bringing his dog.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 16/05/2023 01:24

No... and I'm a dog owner
Don't feel guilty about saying no
He's being unreasonable thinking it's acceptable

DarkDarkNight · 16/05/2023 01:43

No. Very cheeky to accept that invitation and then say ‘by the way the dog isn’t housetrained’ as if that wouldn’t have influenced your invite.

Why does it mean the relative will miss the wedding? Can he not use a kennel where he lives or even travel with the dog to where you live and use a kennel local to you. It’s not your problem he will miss the wedding otherwise. No way would I have an untrained dog in the house particularly with carpet and when you’ll be out of the house for a long period of time for a wedding.

ejbaxa · 16/05/2023 01:47

Outrageous.

I have a dog and wouldn't allow this. I did allow my SIL to bring her dog when she was young and still training, but we both watched her like hawks - she was nearly trained and no accidents actually happened.

suburbophobe · 16/05/2023 01:52

All our carpets are new - less than a month old - and the house is open plan so it's impossible to contain his dog while he is here. I've said he can't bring the dog but it looks like that will mean he misses the wedding so I feel guilty.

Why are you feeling guilty?? Who did a number on you, or you have been trained to accommodate everyone else's feelings...

He's the selfish one not bothering to train his dog not to shit in other people's houses.

Fuck him off, let him sort it out and enjoy the wedding!

TheCatterall · 16/05/2023 01:53

There are plenty of options for him to arrange alternative dog care. Kennels, dog sitters (paid or friends, at theirs or his etc)….

no. No untrained dogs staying in unfamiliar homes that they may have more accidents than normal in.

DogsInPyjamas · 16/05/2023 01:59

Yes, but we have a large house which isn’t open plan and no carpets. With carpets and no area where the dog can be, I don’t really think it’s possible.

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