Would you allow a relative to stay if their dog wasn't house trained?

[Myotherusernameisshy]

Just that really.
I had invited a relative to stay with us for a family wedding. He accepted but then told me his dog isn't housetrained. To be clear, we have dogs and are normally happy to have family bring their pets too but our dogs are all fully trained.
All our carpets are new - less than a month old - and the house is open plan so it's impossible to contain his dog while he is here. I've said he can't bring the dog but it looks like that will mean he misses the wedding so I feel guilty.

Nope. Don't feel guilty. I presume he has said something along the lines of 'Oh , that'd a shame, I won't be able to come now' to try and guilt you into changing your mind. I'm bollocks, he has other options, he can find a friend to dog sit in his own home or pay a professional to dog sit. This is not your fault op, don't give it a moment's thought!

Ew, imagine changing that?!!! (Can't find the vom emoji)

I'm wondering if, for whatever reason, he doesn't want to come to the wedding and is using this as his excuse as it's pretty obvious anyone would say no to him staying with his untrained dog...
Maybe he can't afford the wedding/doesn't like your fiancé etc etc

Entirely this. It’s not your fault if he misses the wedding.

I mean, he's basically saying "can my dog come and pee multiple times in your house?"

No, he bloody well can't!

@Myotherusernameisshy Myotherusernameisshy

This person is taking HIS problem - an incontinent dog and making it your problem!! (wee/poo in your house...)

Is the person putting pressure on you?? "But I muuuust bring Rover, otherwise I can't go to the wedding!" (it's all your fault if you say no!)

Nope i would be deeply unhappy with this...

I'd push back...

Yes, dog owner we'd love to see you - but our house/family can't accommodate an untrained dog currently. If you can arrange doggy care elsewhere - we'd love to have you as guest for weekend of the x... Let us know by x, "

Nope.

For me it would depend a little bit on why the dog wasn't house trained (although I realise the consequences/ outcome the same).

Yes, I probably would but as a canine foster home, my house is set up for it! Plus I have a kennel block.

i Absolutely would NOT in your position, and crucially as a dog owner I would never expect to take my dogs anywhere if they weren’t house trained.

I can’t believe you’re feeling guilty- don’t!

just remember he isn’t missing the wedding because you won’t let his dog stay, he’s missing the wedding because he hasn’t trained his dog and won’t pay for alternative care for it. massive difference. this isn’t on you or your problem to solve so don’t feel guilty.

It’s easy enough if you pay attention! Unless it’s a French bulldog, who are notoriously awful to house train.

I never have a problem, the occasional accident, but never a regular issue. We have had many many dogs and puppies because of our volunteering etc.

outside after food, outside after waking up, outside when they fidget, and outside at regular intervals. Lots of praise when they go, find a word that you can use as an association (“be busy” in this house) and ignore any indoor accidents- just put dog straight out and clear up. No yelling etc.

Why isn't the dog house trained? If it's a young puppy then it shouldn't be being left for long enough for him to attend a wedding anyway (assuming you'd be at the wedding as well?)

I wouldn’t let a relative stay with a dog period.

Are you going to the wedding too? Even more definite No if the dog is going to be left unsupervised in your house. Does it even get on with your dogs?

No. And if I were the relative I wouldn't ask to bring the non-housetrained dog. It is very unreasonable expectation.

It isn't really very fair on the dog, either, who is likely to get confused and perhaps a bit stressed by it.

Not a chance in Hell. He needs to 1) train his dog. And 2) in this instance find care for his dog if he wants to attend the wedding.

In a word, no.

in two words, fuck no!

this is dog ownership for many people now. Get a fog regardless of whether it fits your lifestyle and with no thought of the training required.

get a dog as well 😬

Who would even think this was a reasonable thing to do?

You're not stopping him coming, just the dog.

He can put him in dog care and still come.
(You would need to have someone look after the dogs anyway for the wedding).

Nope. I love dogs and would normally be fine ith people bringing them & would deal with any accidents etc

however, not for someone who just hadn't bothered to house train their dog.

the wedding is his choice, he can get a sitter or put the dog in kennels.

(if it's complicated, like a rescue that hadn't been trained & he's not long had it & it can't be left, I'd consider it IF the wedding is really important to him or his presence is really important to the B&G but it would need to be a very special situation).

I'm wondering if the dog isn't really the issue and he doesn't say to go to the wedding but feels obliged to and is using The OP as a way of getting out of it and shifting the blame. I wanted to come but OP wouldn't let me bring the dog and I couldn't leave her.

No way. Massively unreasonable of him to even ask/suggest it.

Nope.

Neither the dog nor the relative would cross my threshold.

Get them to train their dog! If it means that they miss out on a family wedding because they haven't, then those are the consequences.

Absolutely not