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Original poster

Would you allow a relative to stay if their dog wasn't house trained?

124 replies

Myotherusernameisshy · 16/05/2023 00:13

Just that really.
I had invited a relative to stay with us for a family wedding. He accepted but then told me his dog isn't housetrained. To be clear, we have dogs and are normally happy to have family bring their pets too but our dogs are all fully trained.
All our carpets are new - less than a month old - and the house is open plan so it's impossible to contain his dog while he is here. I've said he can't bring the dog but it looks like that will mean he misses the wedding so I feel guilty.

OP posts:
lanthanum · 16/05/2023 21:40

Can you point him at kennels local to you? That way he has to leave the dog in kennels for a shorter period than in his home area, and could probably visit it on the morning of the wedding as well.

ClairDeLaLune · 17/05/2023 00:34

No way!

TimeToBreakFree · 17/05/2023 00:48

Your flooring is not a toilet, not for man nor beast.

And that's from someone who has had dogs for the majority of their life, than not.

JudgeRudy · 17/05/2023 00:51

Myotherusernameisshy · 16/05/2023 00:13

Just that really.
I had invited a relative to stay with us for a family wedding. He accepted but then told me his dog isn't housetrained. To be clear, we have dogs and are normally happy to have family bring their pets too but our dogs are all fully trained.
All our carpets are new - less than a month old - and the house is open plan so it's impossible to contain his dog while he is here. I've said he can't bring the dog but it looks like that will mean he misses the wedding so I feel guilty.

He won't miss the wedding because of you. He'll miss it because he hasnt trained his dog and he won't pay out for a sitter.

Playingchesswithpigeons · 17/05/2023 00:52

Myotherusernameisshy · Yesterday 19:27
The dogs wouldn't have been left together - my dogs will go to a friend for the day anyway.
Apparently the dog was a rescue and untrained when he got it but he has had it for years. I don't think it's likely he can train it by the end of the month.
I haven't heard from him today but I'm just going to leave it to him to decide.

After OP's last message ^ I was assuming her reply meant " will leave it up to the relative" ^ because she has said NO, but feels guilty.

Therefore, leaving it up to him to come alone without dog, or won't be able to attend the wedding?

It's a cheeky ask OP. Don't feel guilty, don't do it. x

AutumnCrow · 17/05/2023 00:57

Yes I think OP is saying that her relative has to decide whether to come without his dog, or stay at home with said dog and miss the wedding.

Somehow I imagine this dog might not be accepted for kennels as they require up to date documentation from a vet about vaccinations etc.

But a dog sitter might be an option if it's non-aggressive. And small.

wildinthecountry · 17/05/2023 01:03

I'm with everyone else just say no , I'm right in the eye of the storm training a twelve week old puppy and I would never bring that to someone else's house , it's really intense .

InSpainTheRain · 17/05/2023 01:57

100% no! I would not allow an untrained dog anywhere is my house. Nevermind if the carpets were new or 20 years old.

Florin · 17/05/2023 05:26

No chance, not only because you risk all your new carpets but you risk the house training of your own dog who may wee over everywhere his dog has weed.
How does he cope in his own home with an untrained dog?
I can’t believe he even asked it’s very rare we take our dog to anybodies home and he is house trained, I can’t get my head around someone asking to bring an untrained dog into someone’s home.

mainsfed · 17/05/2023 07:07

If he can afford a dog, he can afford a hotel for a night.

Don’t sacrifice new carpets for female guilt.

Bogofftosomewherehot · 17/05/2023 07:25

Why hasn't he trained the dog?

His fault if he misses the wedding, if he wanted to go enough he'd train the dog (which incidentally is the right thing to d regardless).

So, no, and I'm a dog owner.

lordloveadog · 17/05/2023 08:46

Of course not.

Beadyeyes91 · 17/05/2023 10:00

"All our carpets are new - less than a month old"

There is your answer. NO.

Wishawisha · 17/05/2023 10:53

You’ve left it up to him whether he brings the dog? Without any objection?

This is crazy. It’s perfectly possible that he’s a reasonable person who KNOWS that his untrained dog is a problem and expected you to say no and would have been ok with it.. but now you’ve had another conversation with him and not brought it up and just said something like “let me know if you’re coming?” - and he thinks now that you’re completely ok with it? This makes it into such a bigger thing than it needs to be.

piedbeauty · 17/05/2023 10:59

cheeseandketchupsandwich · 16/05/2023 00:15

I wouldn't allow the dog to come, housetrained or not.

Your relative needs to make other arrangements or miss the wedding - maybe they could use the time to actually train the dog

This. Or he could put the dog in kennels.

Why should you take responsibility for something that is completely his fault??

Just no.

AutumnCrow · 17/05/2023 11:14

Not much of a 'rescue' really, is it, if he can't be arsed to train the dog. Has it even seen a vet or vet nurse since it left the rescue place?

LumpySpaceGoddess · 17/05/2023 11:21

I’m a dog owner and it would be a big no from me!

PinkyFlamingo · 17/05/2023 11:26

I would be wondering why on earth you feel guilty? Thats not normal!

Lolalady · 17/05/2023 22:06

Why has the dog never been housetrained ? Only thing I would suggest is he buys a crate for the dog ensuring he takes it out regularly. Of course the dog might not be happy being in a crate in which case I’d definitely say no ( and I’m dog crazy!)

Original poster
Myotherusernameisshy · 17/05/2023 23:26

Sorry I wasn't clear on here. I have told him he has the choice of not coming or coming without the dog. He tried to push back which I have completely ignored but that prompted me to check what people on here. I do feel guilty but I'm not a pushover, we've waited a long time and worked really hard to make the house nice (and also to train our dogs).

OP posts:
PotatoScollop · 18/05/2023 01:29

No.

Riverlee · 18/05/2023 04:19

Well done on standing firm.

He does have a third option - find alternative doggy care, whether that’s having someone look after the dog at his home, or kennels.

northernbeee · 18/05/2023 10:08

Definitely not! I have dogs and wouldn't let an untrained dog stop in my house, depending on the dog I maybe wouldn't let someone elses dog in my house with new carpets at all! A relatives male dog cocks his leg everywhere, that isn't happening on my new carpets!

AutumnCrow · 18/05/2023 10:15

Myotherusernameisshy · 17/05/2023 23:26

Sorry I wasn't clear on here. I have told him he has the choice of not coming or coming without the dog. He tried to push back which I have completely ignored but that prompted me to check what people on here. I do feel guilty but I'm not a pushover, we've waited a long time and worked really hard to make the house nice (and also to train our dogs).

I think that's very clear and completely fair - as pp have said, he does have the option of finding 'doggy day care' in some form, as you yourself are doing.

And it's a problem of his own creation. It's not your problem to solve.

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