To want my son to go to a higher achieving Uni?

[Namingchangeagain]

My son now has A star AA at A-level and is on his year out. He has four unconditional offers from universities (going this September) and three of those unis are considered ‘top’ - Bristol, Durham and Leeds. However, he wants to go Aberystwyth - who have also offered him a place. We think he is aiming too low (most students on the course will have BBB whereas our son has A star AA). AIBU?

Op dd3 is currently at Aberystwyth doing a foundation year. Her intention was to move to a different uni after. She is staying loves it. Loves the life style loves the course (STEM) has tutor's who has time to explain extra if she needs. Tutors who support her dyslexia. And accidentally climbed a mountain one weekend.

Says she wants to do her Masters there.
She is the youngest of my 4 and Compares to the other 3 has by far the best experience of university (though shall be noted is also the one least affected by covid)

Her friend from primary went to a RG as her mother insisted. She hates her course feels isolated. Loathes her Tutors and is studying something she won't use. Whe she met up with another friend she expresses she wished she had been able to go against her mothers wishes.

Mum will wrinkle her nose on hearing dd3 is at Aberystwyth however my dd will look back on her uni days with good memories. She will likely use her degree or at least intends to. And is enjoying learning. To me this is far more important than a RG uni.

On a side note she is also managing just on her student loan. None of her siblings managed that. As more expensive universities.

Aberystwyth is a wonderful university for many reasons. It is also a very old university The required grades may be lower than some because it is so remote and they want to encourage students to apply They also offer valuable scholarships

Just seen he’s doing basic Welsh - the university offered a free course when I was there ten years ago and I recommend it.

@Namingchangeagain Such a nice outcome-you must feel pretty proud of your son!
On your visits, take a little trip to Aberaeron and treat him to a meal at The Harbourmaster. Beautiful coastal town and lovely hotel/restaurant.

Sorry, went to bed! I saw you found the synopsis - and your other posts. Looks like your son has his head screwed on very well indeed! Hope he has a ball there and enjoy the book 😄

You’re not at work now and you’re the one who’s being unnecessarily aggressive.

Who on earth told you that?

A mumsnetter on a university thread.

Jesus, what is your problem with Swansea and Aber? I grew up near Aber in mid wales & it’s a fab Uni, fab place to live. Very outdoorsy, surf etc. Swansea city isn’t so nice but close to Mumbles, Gower- lovely beaches etc. This Russell group snobbery does my head in- as someone said- Bristol has had terrible issues and Durham is full of public schools kids.

I went to a Welsh Uni and loved it (as I am Welsh) - get over yourself! Small communities with highly regarded teaching are great.

🤣🤣🤣

Oh, honestly, give over. Because only the best of the best choose...Leeds? I mean, no criticism of Leeds whatsoever - it's a great university - but I'm not aware of its propensity to turn out Masters of the Universe.

And yy to the poster who is baffled by the 'well Aber is a bad choice for City careers' bullshit that abounds on this thread. So what? Newsflash - many, many intelligent, capable, motivated people couldn't imagine anything worse than 'working in the City'.

Newsflash - many, many intelligent, capable, motivated people couldn't imagine anything worse than 'working in the City'.

That's pretty much what DD said. She would hate a boring office job.

If I had my time again and the choice between an elite university and Aberystwyth I would give Aberystwyth a go. I have experience of the top tier and they just felt far too pleased with themselves.

It's such a weirdly blinkered view of the world. Every time one of these threads comes up there's an influx of posters saying 'Well if your dc wants a job with a Magic Circle / big 4 firm they'll need a first from blahblahblah and anywhere else means their life is OVER'. As if these are the only possible options for smart kids.

It's just a treadmill of 'best school, best grades, best uni, best course, first, grad scheme, six-figure salary In The City'. I mean, fine if that's genuinely what they want but god forbid any deviation from the well-trodden path. Its so depressing to read this stuff over and over again.

It's just a treadmill of 'best school, best grades, best uni, best course, first, grad scheme, six-figure salary In The City'. I mean, fine if that's genuinely what they want but god forbid any deviation from the well-trodden path. Its so depressing to read this stuff over and over again

Yes well said. I work in a university careers service and honestly, we see more students rejecting that path these days than want to tread it!

@Namingchangeagain

Get him to try SaySomethinginWelsh - it's a fantastic app and will get him speaking conversational Welsh in no time. Pob lwc!

Well said @MidlifeWhatNow. It is usually said by very privileged privately educated posters who have had their DC privately educated and who have very little idea about the world outside their exclusive bubbles.

Some young people go to their nearest university because they can't afford to go away or they have caring commitments. Some stay near home for health reasons, some aren't ready to leave home or have other reasons to stay. Yet these same posters write them off for not being aspirational.

I often read threads on here and other forums from parents who are struggling financially, and who are asking which are the expensive university cities to avoid. Whereupon they get told that cost shouldn't put them off. How tone deaf is that?

Exactly Misslife I think those pushy mothers will get a shock - gen z are turning away from that path - a family member retiring as a partner couldn’t get any of the young lawyers to step up they didn’t want to be tied down /work that hard or have the responsibility. Such a narrow view - the world has moved on anyway

Not really. Schools have sets for different abilities and different papers in some cases like foundation vs higher or BTEC vs A levels.

@MidlifeWhatNow What do you think they aspire to instead? My students all seem very set on the top uni, top internship, top grad programme, then city etc. In fact, they seem more determined than ever. But I appreciate that I work in a top London uni so might be different elsewhere

So nice to hear, thank you. DD1 is certainly clever enough for Oxbridge but will likely go to Cardiff - it's really good for her course, which Oxford don't even do and Cambridge wanted A Level Maths. I am so happy for her to go there but it's still reassuring to read this.

I commented to one of my DC yesterday on the incredibly eclectic set of friends she had from Oxford - an extraordinarily diverse range of careers. Oxford (and Cambridge, and other top unis) is pretty good for creating a range of choices, even if year after year the second years feel peer pressured into applying for the rite of passage vac schemes. Some end up in those firms, plenty find the experience not at all what they are looking for. I've always championed choice for my DC and it's arguable that the better the university the greater the choice. Probably not to be sniffed at. There's a lot of life after those three or fours years still to go.

A friends son did this.Not Aberystwyth but chose a less prestigious uni over a RG city one for the course it offered. He had coasted a bit at school but still got good grades and offers.Turned out to be the best thing.He got really engaged.Came out with a first and has a great job.Plus he's a lovely, articulate and confident young man.He barely spoke as a teenager!

DS got a 1st in maths from a “former polytechnic”. It included a sandwich year so on graduation he was able to apply for jobs requiring experience. His first job broke their habit of employing RG grads. Early on, they were explaining something technical to him, he said “sorry, I’m not trying to be funny, I already know how to do that”, they probed, found he did indeed know, and said they’d never had a starter before that they hadn’t had to explain it to. Then he found himself explaining to a RG maths graduate why you might want to use a median and not a mean - a totally new concept to them - they’d been taught how to calculate it but not why.

So for someone not wanting to follow the production line to a City job, certainly look wider than RG, and look for things like good links to industry and sandwich opportunities. (There’s nothing like a good sandwich placement for helping you understand why you’re learning all this seemingly abstract stuff)

Well, for a start not everyone wants to live and work in London.
What about all the STEM graduates?
Loads of young people want careers in engineering, the sciences or allied to health care. What about teaching or the arts?
It's a very narrow view to assume that everyone wants to just have a city job. Without doctors, scientists, architects, engineers and a whole load of other careers where would we be?

@RampantIvy I was not being critical. Was just relaying my experience of talking to our undergrads. However, I teach social sciences in London so it might makes sense about them aiming for the city. Am assuming that in other dept a lot more people are aiming for tech companies/biotech stuff.....But yes, am rather biased when it comes to London because thats where I teach

I've been here from the start and actually those views are a minority.
There has, however been a balanced discussion on the impact university choices have on future prospects.
The 'university standing doesn't matter at all' posters are just bad as the 'ranking or die' that you've described.