What is everyone doing on their phones in restaurants, that can possibly be more important than speaking to the person they have made a dinner date with??

[BeachBlondey]

I am getting irrationally annoyed by this. I see it all the time. For eg. Me and DH were at a big restaurant the other day. I could see about 16 other tables from where we were sitting. Apart for us, and two other tables, everyone was scrolling through their phones and not talking to the other people they were out to dinner with. It makes me so sad. On one table, a couple spent the whole meal on their phones, whilst their daughter, aged about 8, simply had her head face down on the table. No interaction with the child at any time. The table right next to ours had 3 people seated at it, 2 of whom scrolled continually, whilst the 3rd person stared into the distance. It's like people are physically there, but not really present. What on earth are we doing to ourselves?

i have books on my phone, I read 2-3 books a week, much more than when I had to deal with the physical nature of it. I still read books in print, I just enjoy it more on my phone.

Ive met a few younger folks where the parents had strict limits on technology. It hasn’t really helped them with study or with work if I’m honest, they aren’t any more well rounded, they are just behind.

I tried to do this (books) but the constant scrolling annoyed me. It takes seconds to read a page. I would do it more if I could get round that.

Lots of us have to for work, or we are obligated to attend things that make us uncomfortable, or there’s just no food in the house. Eating out is not something everyone enjoys or something that people can avoid

So when you go out for a works dinner you would happily stare at your phone all evening?

I don’t use scrolling, I set it to pages. I’ve also got eye conditions and I love being able to change the settings. I also like being able to go from one book in a series to another without stopping and have audible when driving.

Agree with you OP. And the fact is many people are addicted to their phones and cannot put them down. It’s not good for them or society and is adding terribly to the mental health crisis. I worry especially about teenagers and thank god my kids didn’t have access to the internet when they were teenagers, other than on the one family computer.

It’s worse than smoking imo and the government should be stopping young teenagers from having access to smart phones, as every single study shows it’s hugely detrimental to their mental health.

A couple of years ago, I took my oldest DD to afternoon tea at a lovely seafront hotel in a special area. It was expensive obviously, BUT the biggest thing was, she was texting/replying
One point, I said "you aren't listening are you", she said 'i won't be a minute ", she complained the hot water wasn't!! I was extremely close to walking off, leaving her to it,and 70 miles from home!!

I prefer my kindle for this. Seriously if I set nice big print on my phone I'd get about 12 words a page! I agree about audible when driving but that's not what this thread is about

I have a lovely kindle and yet it is another device that needs charging and remembering, and carrying and is still a digital device.

im severely disabled and use crutches to walk, when I travel everything for work clothes to laptop etc has to go in a small back pack, I take what I have to and the phone is a multi functional devices

Yes I agree the kindle is a pain. Maybe I need a bigger phone!!

I hate that done still have the qr codes for the menus so instantly phones are out

This isn't quite the context, but the principle is valid.

For a start, the millennial generation starts in 81….. I’m an older millennial and I’m in my early 40s. Someone born in 94 is right at the end of that generation and he’s saying starts 94. He’s talking really about Gen Z not millennial .

the term millennial is normally used by older people complaining to mean anything younger than them.

to have the actual audacity to complain about dopamine causing devices from generations that created a hole culture out of taking drugs is amusing. Complaining younger people have lower self esteem when they are bombarded on the daily by people telling them they are lazy and useless is a self fulfilling prophecy.

or to have these same people tutting and shaking their heads when they were the ones raising the younger Gen, mainly in a mixture of crappy food and tv babysitter. Then whine as the “kids” have zero interest in interacting with a generation that ignored them and pursued their own happiness instead. Nice

The fact that I noticed that almost the whole restaurant were glued to phones, doesn't mean I ignored my husband. What a strange thing to say. We chatted all night, no phones at the table for us. It's impossible to never glance at another table, or to not see any tables when you pop to the loo. And the little girl with her forehead on the table, really caught our attention. It was very sad to observe. Perhaps we observe a lot of what's going on around us, because we don't have our faces stuck in our phones.

I was thinking the other day, about how people must have felt in the 1930's when television was invented. Before this families would sit and chat in the evening, sing, play games etc. I imagine that when TV's started being brought into homes, that some people would have been against this, and aghast that families started to stare at a screen all night instead of conversing.

I did say it was out of context here, and he's American (apologies to Americans who do know the difference between generations), and he is also talking from the perspective of people who have to manage, shall we call them the "social media" generation? I am one of these and some of the points he raises are valid.

I think the comparison to drugs is tenuous though as most people don't sit in restaurants snorting a line in the way they prod buttons on phones for a quick hit.

I completely agree with the comment on parenting though. I'll get lambasted I'm sure, but a good proportion (not all) of today's issues are a result of that. Only a day ago there was a thread about a 10 year old having broken their phone. What is a ten year old doing with a phone in the first place? I guess peer pressure as every other 10 year old has one. I could get all tin foil hat and mention the effect of microwaves on the developing body, but I really would need a flame proof suit then 🤣

Not sure why you're getting so much hate, OP.

I absolutely hate seeing this in restaurants, I just find it so sad and depressing. Yes, they might be doing something important, but the zombified looks on their faces says otherwise - they have checked out.

It's addiction, pure and simple.

Yeh I think it depends on the restaurant whether drugs are involved or not 😂 and generally it’s the toilet rather than the table.

it is perfectly natural for older people to complain about younger ones, if you read any historical papers from the 1800s they complain about the youth of the day reading too much. It just seems whatever the distraction or pass-time is, it upsets the old ones.

today it’s phones, my day it was TV, before that it was rock music. Personally I don’t think people today are being rude, I think people today are choosing to act in accordance to their own wishes rather than being forced to comply with social situations which would always have made them uncomfortable. Enforced fun. If invites to dinner for younger people were honest….

“would you like to go out for dinner in a noisy place where you will be uncomfortable and have to interact with people you either don’t know or who make you uncomfortable and guaranteed some older person will find something to moan about with your behaviour or the way you look or behave?”
I would be taking my phone too lol 😂

@Antisocialfluffmonster I think you make a good point here in that society is changing. While I think social media has all sorts of pitfalls in that people present the best versions of their lives rather than the real version, it is just a new thing exactly as you say.

In my view music is a much more positive thing. My mum still thinks it's a phase I'm going through (after 40 years 🤣🤣🤣).

For the record OP, I think it's better when people talk to each other as opposed to being on their phones. But it does seem to be a societal shift whether we like it or not.

That dismisses the fact that we are supposed to be able to access the internet for banking, appointments, parent pay (school), seesaw (school), sales receipts, returns for online shopping etc etc. It's a lack of recognition that for some they can only access the internet on their phones, they don't have other devices. My 80 year old neighbour loves my phone, he prides himself on his memory and likes me to confirm, the death dates of popular actors of his day, battle details etc. I have been to lunch with him and it could have looked like I was being rude, but using the phone added to our conversation.

I agree. It's terrible manners imo to sit on your phone on a meal out with others unless it's been expressly discussed beforehand.

There are of course occasions when people are flexi working and need to respond to an email or something urgent comes through that has to be handled but it's really not gonna be the case for everyone sat around a table.

We have a general rule: no phones at the table. So if I'm having coffee or dinner with my family or my friend/s I have it in my bag. If I might be expecting a call I'll leave it in my bag but on loud. I don't mind when others have theirs sat on the table as long as it's face down. It's rude as hell to sit there with someone and be constantly glancing at your phone every time it buzzes or beeps, just sends a strong message that the person you're with's time isn't important to you.

It has definitely become the norm though, but that doesn't mean you have to go along with it unless it matches with your values. I just see tables where the family is sat on their phones or kids are hooked up to an ipad and think you do you, I'll do me.

The overall livestyle is changing and role of different events as well.

With my partner we do this - we check out and just have a break at the bus or while waiting for the meal. We spend together a lot of great time, talk for hours, we especially love talking outside when walking.
Dinner isn't a special highlight for us, it is just another part of the plan.
We would try not to pick the fine dining places for that, but otherwise it is our common decision and we don't harm anyone.

Would you have the same rage if I was reading a book or newspaper, or writing in a note book whilst in a restaurant?

Sometimes eating in a restaurant is no more than getting food… a basic thing, not a social occasion

Two adults (both) choosing to spend some time on their phones relaxing over dinner - no big deal. Maybe they are doing admin or sharing stories or checking facts - phones have so much on them now that it's not necessarily rude to have them out during a casual meal. But i hate to see parents ignoring their kids whilst on phones for long periods of time. We once went to a restaurant next to a table of mum dad and two young primary aged kids. The kids were literally staring into space whilst their parents spent the whole time on their phones, only stopping to chastise the kids if they started to make noise or do anything to alleviate their boredom. There's always one to come along and say maybe it was this or that, but it never is, its just lazy parenting and people who can't be bothered to have a conversation with their own kids. And yep like others it isn't my problem but i do find it really sad - a form of neglect.

I agree with being annoyed by people on your own table but unless the phones are bright in a very dark restaurant or the sound is up then I don't care what others do on their table if they are not with me

It's just habit. A bad habit. And people can't kick it. DH and I were out for a very formal, very expensive (we weren't paying) lunch for his brothers birthday at the weekend. He took his phone out to take a family picture then started scrolling through bloody linked in. I dont think he'd even realised he was doing it til he felt me glaring at him and put it down. He's in the bloody phone all the time and it does my head in but this was the first time he did it at a dining table. And it was literally just out of habit.

I hate it. So rude. And so sad!