What is everyone doing on their phones in restaurants, that can possibly be more important than speaking to the person they have made a dinner date with??

[BeachBlondey]

I am getting irrationally annoyed by this. I see it all the time. For eg. Me and DH were at a big restaurant the other day. I could see about 16 other tables from where we were sitting. Apart for us, and two other tables, everyone was scrolling through their phones and not talking to the other people they were out to dinner with. It makes me so sad. On one table, a couple spent the whole meal on their phones, whilst their daughter, aged about 8, simply had her head face down on the table. No interaction with the child at any time. The table right next to ours had 3 people seated at it, 2 of whom scrolled continually, whilst the 3rd person stared into the distance. It's like people are physically there, but not really present. What on earth are we doing to ourselves?

'we' are minding our own business. You should try it sometime.

Completely agree OP. Was out with DH the other night and we commented on it too, though actually in this instance it wasn't the majority of tables. I was sad for the young couple who came to the next table. The girl sat reading the menu, or staring around, and the lad was scrolling social media (I could see). Came home and checked with my teens that they know better than to do that. I hope so, we are a no phones at the table household.

As long as they aren’t bothering me, I really don’t care how random strangers fill their time. I’ve been out at pubs and restaurants with my husband and we’ve been on our phones before. We both work from home and spend almost all day together, and for a casual meal and drink out, sometimes it’s nice to unwind on our phone as we see quite a lot of each other anyway.

Sometimes we’ll each have a book or newspaper and will be reading that instead of talking. Is that more acceptable to you? If so, why is reading a physical newspaper more acceptable than reading gymnastics news on Reddit?

@ZforZebra exactly!!

I was out for a meal.with my wife at lunchtime today. I checked my phone and said to her that 69 people had liked my Facebook post and 43 had commented. My post was that today is our 19th wedding anniversary. I thought it was good to check my phone in the restaurant as I can't outside as I need both hands to push her wheelchair

I do it because I find it helps me regulate.

I'm autistic and find the hustle and bustle of restaurants quite stressful sometimes - lots of noise, lots of smells, lots of people talking - it can get quite overwhelming.

If I can use my phone while waiting for my meal, I find that I can focus on the meal much easier.

You have no idea what people are doing. My two kids are quite often reading a book in restaurants. Is that to be judged too? Both neurodiverse, both find the noise of restaurants difficult and one of the ways they cope is having something as a distraction. Might be a book, might be a phone. But they'll be quiet and not disturbing anyone so who cares?

Perhaps they all enjoy it?

Perhaps they've all had a busy day and are enjoying a few moments peace?

Perhaps they're playing scrabble online together?

Perhaps the person who was walking in the countryside has walked it thousands of times?

Who knows. Who cares. As long as they're happy.

@NotTooOldPaul & your wife.

Congratulations! 🥂🍾. Here's to the next 19 years!!

Because they are addicted to their phones and probably don't even realise they are doing it. I always turn mine off. It's a big treat for us to have a meal out together.

I think I'd far rather be absorbed in something online that interests me rather than listening to the company I'm with judge everyone else, based on absolutely zero knowledge of their life.

Sometimes I chat and chat with friends in restaurants, other times we've spent all day together and want to mutually enjoy a meal in peace.

I think I'd far rather be absorbed in something online that interests me rather than listening to the company I'm with judge everyone else, based on absolutely zero knowledge of their life.

Why would you go out to dinner with someone if you'd rather be on mumsnet than in their company?

Pmsl, of course they realise they are doing it. What they probably don't realise is that there is a beady-eyed MN busybody watching from a neighbouring table, fuming silently because strangers aren't conforming to her idea of perfect family conduct. But that's OK, because they probably wouldn't give much of a shit if they did know.

Well, mine pretty much is.
As a T1 diabetic, I use it to monitor my glucose levels via my CGM.

Pretty important in a restaurant, when I'm likely to be eating and needing to do insulin doses. Every time I go to a restaurant, I can guarantee that my phone will be placed on the table, and I will check it a few times.

Absolutely me & DH were checking details on his phone for our forthcoming trip. It's a chance to talk uninterrupted and concentrate

Were you eating at McDonalds? Because quite honestly, I just don't see this that often anymore. Sure, you might see someone whip out a phone for a bit - I would imagine it's for the same reason I might get mine out eg to keep an eye out for messages from the babysitter or if DH and I are using our dinner to at least partially cover off life admin and need reminding of school holidays or work schedules (in the same way my mum and dad might well have got their diaries out in a similar situation). Or yes, we might be having an argument about who won the last World Cup....

But these days, it's quite rare in a "nice" restaurant/evening to see people on their phone the whole time. Possibly different in a Costa or while grabbing a quick lunch - but then I'm usually by myself in those situations so am always on my Kindle or phone so not sure about other people.

@Cazelet like I said, maybe we'd spent all day together and were knackered.

DH and I often meet up for a meal in between work meetings, and we do spend time on our phones preparing for the afternoon/evening. Still beats both of us sitting in our separate offices with a lunchbox and not eating together at all.

In this tragic case, the student was looking at her phone when she got hit by a car. I was on a bus which had stopped at the bus stop right where she was crossing.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-43823769.amp

Quite often either DH or I will have our phone out as part of the conversation eg looking at places to take the DC next weekend.

Also we both have allergies and most places seem to require you to look at the allergy menu on line now, so we need to look at that.

It doesn't make me angry. I just think it is sad. Couples, often quite young, just staring at their phones and literally not talking at all.

What does make me angry is so many people using their phones walking along the street. Sorry but there is no way they all absolutely have to use their phones at the moment because of an emergency.

At least if they were talking on their phone they might actually watch where they are walking but when they are reading messages/facebook or whatever they don't have a clue where they are walking. Idiots

I am sick of dodging out of their way and sometimes having them walk into me. Such sad people.

People with children ignoring their children because they are glued to their phone. People walking their dogs so busy staring at their phone they don't notice their dog has pooed.

I do have a mobile phone although often don't even take it with me if me and DH go out. I think they are actually one of the worst inventions ever

I was going to say the same thing.

I can't imagine (to quote you) being so irrationally annoyed by what other people are doing in a restaurant that in no way impacts on me, that I spend the whole time watching them, rather than engaging with the person or people I am with.

Like others, I consider it to be useful to have a miniature computer in my hand when sitting with dh - or sometimes friends or other family, to be able to check details of things we might be trying to arrange - calendars, sporting fixtures, family meal, holidays, arrangements with the dc, routes, weather checks, etc etc etc. All that stuff needs to be done, and, sitting over a pub meal is quite a good time to do it.

Funny how some people accused me of not minding my own business, or being a busy body.....like I actually told someone off for being on their phone, lol. I am allowed to have my own thoughts inside my own head. I'm not sat there with horse blinkers on. If most of the restaurant are sat like zombies staring at a screen, I am going to notice that. And I find it SAD. Especially when children are being totally ignored by their parents, who should be showing them how to behave in a restaurant. No, it wasn't McDonalds, it was a nice mid priced restaurant in a large city (the time I was referring to), but I see this ALL the time. People together, on trains, buses, at restaurants, in airports, in bars......all staring at screens and ignoring the person they are with. Medical conditions excepted, is this how we really want to live? Children being ignored in favour of social media (when you only vaguely know the people you ae "friends" with on there anyway!!

This is partly why I got a smart watch, can get alerts/calls and just glance at wrist if needed and phone stays in bag.

If I don't have to worry about anyone,can turn alerts off