What is everyone doing on their phones in restaurants, that can possibly be more important than speaking to the person they have made a dinner date with??

[BeachBlondey]

I am getting irrationally annoyed by this. I see it all the time. For eg. Me and DH were at a big restaurant the other day. I could see about 16 other tables from where we were sitting. Apart for us, and two other tables, everyone was scrolling through their phones and not talking to the other people they were out to dinner with. It makes me so sad. On one table, a couple spent the whole meal on their phones, whilst their daughter, aged about 8, simply had her head face down on the table. No interaction with the child at any time. The table right next to ours had 3 people seated at it, 2 of whom scrolled continually, whilst the 3rd person stared into the distance. It's like people are physically there, but not really present. What on earth are we doing to ourselves?

Why would it need to wait until they get to work/on the bus/ home though?
You’ve just made up an arbitrary rule that most people don’t subscribe to.
Why is it wrong to text or browse something on your phone while walking but you deem it acceptable on the bus?

Now calm down...I haven't made up a rule or said it's wrong.

This is a forum for discussion....I just contributed with an observation which puzzles me. Blimey!

Jacksfesteringresentment · Today 15:34
What has it got to do with you what strangers are doing on their phones?
I can't imagine being angered about something that is absolutely nothing to do with me.

Another one.

I don't think anyone's angry, are they? Just commenting on social habits/changing ways/ the modern world? It's interesting, amusing, enlightening...nothing to get angry about. I think you are projecting!

Phones seem to be a very sensitive subject.

Phones for adults are like dummies for babies. Grown adults that can't go half an hour without a screen. Pretty sad really.

I'm not sat there with horse blinkers on. If most of the restaurant are sat like zombies staring at a screen, I am going to notice that

You were there with your DH though. Of course you'll notice other people but judging by your detailed descriptions of the others in the restaurant, you were paying more attention to them than to your husband.

But it's true. To know that these people did this so much you basically spent the entire meal staring around and talking about other people. Why weren't you staring into his eyes and talking about your lives?

menu and ordering from the app is an easy way to use discount codes.

Well OP many years ago I took my autistic child out for lunch, just the 2 of us. The only way he got through it and managed to stay settled and regulated was by playing a game in his phone, with his ear defenders on. So, I picked up my phone and browsed the internet because you know, why the fuck not. I also cried because I knew someone in that restaurant was making that judgement about me, when the truth is as that actually I was taking my disabled child out for lunch for the second time ever and that was how he managed it. It broke my heart tbh because it's so very hard to know people are looking thinking I just picked up my phone and made a conscious choice to ignore my son.

I would have given anything in that moment to be able to sit and talk to him.

As things turned out he wasn't too harmed by the lack of communication back then, he is now at university and while he still lives at home he is a long way away from that little boy who couldn't talk to me that day.

When I see other people i try not to make snap judgments, my whole life I have been the misunderstood result of them.

So you spent the night observing and discussing other people over your dinner? Yeah sounds so much more connected than they were. 🙄

We went out for dinner the other week and were planning stuff for the next couple of months, it did involve looking stuff up on our phones from time to time in between courses. I'd not thought that someone might think we weren't enjoying being out together because we had our phones out. Helpful to have an alternative perspective.

'It just makes me so sad' to things like this, has to be the most peculiar statement ever.

Sadness means unhappiness.

So, it makes you unhappy that someone else has made a different choice to you. Why?

They have made their choice because it makes them happy. The opposite of sad.

They're not choosing to be sad about it. So why are you?

Wow loads of people here being snobby about phone use.

I often sit in a cafe and read a book on my Kindle on my phone (currently Dan Jones' book on the Peasants Revolt of 1381 - highly recommend).

I didn't realise it bothered random people at other tables.

I absolutely agree with you, OP. It is an addiction. I'm trying to reduce time on my phone (typing this on a PC) and have installed time limits for various apps (although the option to override the limit doesn't help). I'd be very tempted to get a brick phone, but then all my life's management is on my smartphone (bills, energy usage, photos, day to day banking and credit cards etc) and it'd be much harder without the apps (though not impossible).

I've instigated a rule at home where we don't have our phones out at all around DD (15 months) as she deserves our attention, not us staring at a screen. DD is allowed limited TV time (Duggee is a favourite) but no screens other than that (thankfully we don't own a tablet so that's a start).

But I honestly feel like the addiction to smartphones is some kind of insidious take-over of the human race (not sure by whom). Everyone is glued to a screen. I used to read a book a week before smartphones were invented; now I dick around on my stupid phone and feel my brain shrivelling up.

I wish they'd never been invented.

Would you do that if you were having lunch with someone though?

Perhaps they’re all sexting each other.

Remember it might be a dinner date to you, for others it is just sustenance because too lazy to cook/oven on blink/didn't get round to going shopping/really fancied steak (delete as applicable, which shall I use tonight?) I'm fortunate that it's not a special thing to eat out a local places here

OP, why are you and your husband not paying attention to each other instead of noseying at what other diners are doing? In case you didn't know, that's rude.

And your 'Jeez, there's always one' is also rude. Why have you posted this thread since only your view matters?

As it is, I don't disagree that it's odd for people dining to be on separate conversations/interactions on their phones but I wouldn't dream of observing them to the point that it warrants a forum call to arms.

Phones should never be out/on the table, either in a restaurant or at home. It's just basic manners.

And QR codes are annoying too, because sometimes I don't have or want to take my phone out with me. I like both the service and "theatre" of a proper printed menu.

The only basic thing here is your opinion.

They were filming you getting irrationally annoyed at other people's business to have a good laugh at later.

Quite often I'm looking up something we were talking about or planning a trip somewhere with the people I'm eating with.

I know someone with children in their teens. They apparently are very good at regulating their use of devices and seem to have an etiquette that if they are in a group of their mates, none of them use their phones, it's just very uncool. I doubt it's limited to them. I imagine it's a developing etiquette, with people at various different stages. A bit, perhaps, like alcohol use, not as common with younger people as compared to older ones.

I think they need to be on their phones at all times. Probably because they’re all on mumsnet getting angry with people who go out and observe the rest of the world and form opinions on things and then share those opinions on mumsnet.

I was upset that when my niece & her friends were on a school or college trip to The Berlin Wall, they were taking pouty selfies. Mobiles do tend to suck us in to an online world & then we don’t always appreciate the real one. It’s very sad.