Do people not make the effort with appearance anymore

[Scarletthoo2]

The last couple of months, I've noticed in restaurants, bars and social places that majority of women/young adults have replaced heels for trainers and dresses for jeans and dress pretty much causal when out socialising in bars or eating out. Is this the new norm? Why don't people make an effort anymore? Especially the younger generation. AIBU or is this a minority?

It's been a while since I saw an OP pile-on of quite this magnitude

I'm very much enjoying my new life of trainers and no heels. My feet are very happy.

Oh and I have never worn heels in my life due to my disability.. even if I could I wouldn't

YANBU to complain about the quality of clothes. There has definitely been a decline with fast fashion in styles and quality. Fashion today is a bit depressing

YABU to suggest we need to wear heels everyday to care about our appearance. When in history have people just worn heels about on a normal day? You can look nice in some sandals even with a nice outfit. You will never see me wear heels

trainers and jeans save money. may be they cannot afford drinks if keep buying new dresses in order to go for a pint

Over 300 posts.
Well baited, scarlet. 👏👏👏

I said YABU but come on, she’s entitled to her view. It’s hardly ‘baiting’ we’re just discussing whether people make an effort with their appearance anymore. It’s only controversial to the very thin skinned and easily offended.

And yet the OP hasn't thought to come back and debate it - at all.

YABVVVVVVVVU

OP may be genuinely stunned at the replies.

I gave away everything resembling a smart shoe recently - I don't want to wear any non trainers now. I would like a smart leather boot with trainer comfort though but it's not essential.

TBH I do miss dressing up now and again. I'm going to a gala dinner next week and don't have anything posh to wear to it. I don't want to buy anything I won't wear again.

Wow - so bitchy!

If you dress up 'you might look as though you don't eat out very often' OK...

I'm a casual dresser myself but level of nastiness here is depressing - have a saucer of milk, fgs.

I miss wearing my heels! I have well over 100 pairs. I am still trying to reconcile myself with not wearing some of them again because I can't walk in heels since lockdown!!

I never wore uncomfortable shoes though - have always bought good-quality, soft Italian or Spanish leather. I loved heels because I'm short, and because my feet/legs are my best feature and they made the most of them - not for men either ffs, for me! I wouldn't care if they were 'in' or not and I would still be wearing them if I didn't feel like I might fall!

I'm not a trainers woman either but I discovered lovely, 'dressy' trainers with platform soles, as well as biker boots with high soles.

As for not making an effort with appearance - there are far more dresses out there than there used to be. I'm a convert; I never used to wear dresses as I thought I didn't suit them.

Styles evolve and change, and everything comes back into fashion again at some point!

As for not making an effort with appearance - there are far more dresses out there than there used to be. I'm a convert; I never used to wear dresses as I thought I didn't suit them.

I agree, Vipers. If you can find a dress which is casual and relaxed it's a much easier option sometimes than finding tops and bottoms which go together, and it can be more comfortable.

I'm a fan of relaxed dresses (not the prairie ones, but that's just a personal preference) with trainers/plimsolls/sandals/boots. This look gives you the best of both worlds and is very comfortable.

I used to do Meals on Wheels when it was still going and we always used to notice how much effort the residents (men and women)of some of the retirement flats we visited made with their appearance - it might be outmoded, but it's nothing to sneer at.

Yes, I’ve been made aware your post was meant be ironically amusing, by a poster who kindly explained your nom de plume. Forgive me for not being a Downton Abbey fan, because your attempt at humour by-passed me entirely.

However - I opened my heart up and confessed things I try to keep hidden and you seem to think my mistake and confession about always feeling inadequate is amusing in some way.

Heels are incredibly bad for you. Did you not know that?

Aside from that the 1950s called, they say you're past your curfew and your husband want his dishes doing.

Women rarely wear high heels for the same reasons that men rarely wear high heels-they don't want their feet to hurt and they want to be able to run if they need to.

That’s a bit of a generalisation.

I am scruffy and overweight. I do have respect for myself. I just love to cook and eat and don’t give much of a thought to my outward appearance.

There’s a great Tiktok of a middle aged woman out in heels surrounded by younger people in trainers, Im envious, I can’t count the amount of nights out I walked home with feet aching or bare foot because I had blisters or didn’t really get involved because the heels hurt! And you’d be surprised how much actual effort went into those casual looks, from what I see online youngers today make a hell of a lot more effort to get the right look then I ever did, and they get to do it feeling comfortable. Totes jel!

It's not really about effort, though, is it? Heels don't take more effort than trainers; arguably it's more effort to lace up a pair of trainers than it is to slip on a pair of heels. Jeans aren't easier to manage than a dress. Lipstick takes seconds.

It's the level of discomfort involved in actually wearing the stuff that is reduced. Heels are generally very uncomfortable to wear for any length of time, and they are terrible for your feet. What you are very pejoratively calling a lack of effort is actually a lack of willingness to tolerate low-level harm for the sake of looking feminine to others. You should probably ask yourself why you see that as a negative development.

Exactly women should harm their feet which have to last them for the rest of their lives to please others? Fuck that. Wearing high heels all the time completely fucks the posture and feet. The human body isn't supposed to wear them, I would rather get to 80 without fucked feet thank you very much.
Men aren't expected to cripple themselves for fashion. I will only wear them at weddings.

I’m in Geneva today for a conference - a room full of international bankers, lawyers and financiers. I’m wearing a dress and white trainers - as are the majority of women here

I am unable to wear CFMN heels 👠 these days and certainly wouldn't rush back to wearing them 🤨 comfort and making an effort can still go hand in hand

You sound exactly, to the word almost, like my neighbour, Gordon.
Are you my neighbour, Gordon?

YABU, and frankly ableist. There are some people, such as myself, are UTTERLY INCAPABLE of walking safely in high heels, and if a job or social event requires it, I simply cannot apply or attend. There are others, who might not be in the same danger of falling, but who have foot conditions that make high heels incredibly painful.

One can dress smartly without high heels, and this is appropriate for special occasions and events. But honestly, if people are socializing in bars or eating out, often the whole purpose is to relax, and having to 'make an effort' rather defeats the purpose.

And I notice that you speak of the 'majority of women'. Is it that you think that all men dress smartly, or that they don't need to?

My mum wore heels most of her adult life and has severe arthritis in her feet and has had the middle toe on each amputated.

Ok that may not be related to heels though I’m sure it hasn’t helped but I’d rather wear nice comfortable flats than end up with 4 toed claws for feet in a few years