Do people not make the effort with appearance anymore

[Scarletthoo2]

The last couple of months, I've noticed in restaurants, bars and social places that majority of women/young adults have replaced heels for trainers and dresses for jeans and dress pretty much causal when out socialising in bars or eating out. Is this the new norm? Why don't people make an effort anymore? Especially the younger generation. AIBU or is this a minority?

God yes, the thong fashion was a curse! Suddenly around 2001 you couldn’t buy a normal pair of pants anymore! I tried it once and said No Thank You, but for ages every nice lingerie set only came with a thong. Took f-ing ages for proper underwear to replace thrush-inducing buttfloss again 😂 Please, let the thong never come back into fashion. 🙏🏽

It’s definitely that way in London and everything seems to be more relaxed post Covid but tbh I’m here for it!!

I have tried many times to wear heels but I seem to have no natural padding in my feet. Tried all those gel cushions etc and my feet were usually screaming after about 25 minutes. I remember wearing heeled boots to meet a friend and I actually walked into a trainer shop and got trainers and bought a pair of jeans. In the restaurant I changed out of my skirt and heels into jeans and trainers. I’m 5’9” so feel overly tall in heels in general. I went out for a meal on Saturday and wore a black and white dress and white converse style trainers. I had a great time without worrying that my feet were being minced. Husband said I looked great and must have still found me shaggable minus the heels (I’ll let your imagination work on why I know that).

I saw young girls out and some looked really uncomfortable in tiny dresses etc, one girl had a tiny skit that she kept pulling down . The two girls I saw who looked the best and most confident were wearing shorts, converse and vintage band t shirts (shorts that actually covered what they should as well).

Comfort is king in my world. I make an effort to look clean and appropriate for the occasion, but I have bigger, more pressing concerns in my day-to-day life that take precedence over looking 'put-together' in some endless chase after fickle fashion. If others have more interest and mental bandwidth, that's good for them, but it's not for me.

You speak for yourself.

You don't speak for me.

There are some days where I struggle to leave the house due to depression and anxiety.

if I honestly thought people like you would be judging my make-up free, clean and tidy but not “put together” look, then I’d probably stay inside all the time.

self respect is not something I have, regardless of the clothes I wear, because I basically think I’m worthless.

Making an effort with your appearance takes too long.

if I were to shower, dry and straighten hair, put make up on it would be a 2 hour job.

I would never have the time to go anywhere if I regularly made an effort with my appearance

It’s always been a London/Southern thing. On a residential course with some colleagues in Liverpool many years ago, us Southern slobs went to the pub.
A normal pub, on a winter weeknight, to find that in our jeans, boots and jumpers, we were distinctly under-dressed, as all the other girls in the pub were in what I can only describe as “Full-on Nightclub”, or, “out-on-the-pull-wear”!😂😂😂 It was expensive, designer stuff, too.
At a time when Liverpool was the most impoverished it has been, we couldn’t believe how they could be so glam, but they didn’t mind us spoiling their aesthetic and we got on really well with them - scousers are lovely!

But, compared to the rest of Europe, we Brits are real slobs when it comes to dressing.

Other than most of Italy, and Paris I would not agree with you. I went to university in a smaller town in France in the 1990s and the style seemed about 20 years behind London to me.

I’ve been to weddings in Belgium and the Netherlands where most of the guests were wearing jeans and trainers! It very much depends on the country.

This!!! I wish it had been the fashion then to wear a dress with trainers or jeans a nice top and trainers.

I'm in my 30s now and I've fully embraced the change. It's trainers, flats or flat boots for me all the way.

I remember one night 20 years or so ago, we turned up to a club and my boyfriend at the time got turned away for wearing smart leather lace up shoes as they "looked like trainers". The burger van across the road rented out shoes for this very reason. He had to spend the night in some manky public shoes that smelled of grease!

I would agree to a certain extent. Family member had a big birthday dinner recently in a nice fancy restaurant, everyone dressed up, men is shirts and trouser, women skirts dresses etc, most in flat shoes but dressy type and there was my cousin, in scruffy jeans and a big zip up hoody that was miles too big for him, he in his 50's and look terrible beside his wife who made in the effort in a nice trousers and top. Watched a big influencer go around lately on her book tour, there she was signing her books in a fab dress and shows, hair done and make up and her husband standing beside her in a tracksuit pants. I was like no, you can be comfortable dressy and smart at same time. I don't like the fact covid has made us more casual. I like to get dressed up when i go out now. It doesn't have to be full on glam, but a nice blazer smart trousers, little bit make up plus my hair blow dried ( full on frizz machine otherwise) makes me feel good about my self. I work from home now so often am in leggings and comfy clothes so make the effort more so when i do go out now.

Yes that is definitely the case. It is worse when they attend weddings/ Christenings dressed like that, which they often do.

Ignore Mrs Bucket. The idea that women only have self respect if they wear heels and have plastered themselves in makeup, is straight from an MRA handbook.

But what about the person who doesn't like getting dressed up? Who looking glam makes them feel sham ? There needs to be none judgemental space for everyone

I live in a town that used to get a lot of visitors from the North West when TOWIE was at its peak.

It was amusing to see these ladies absolutely dolled up to the nines on a Saturday afternoon wandering along the high street in tiny dresses and 5 inch heels,full face of slap looking bemused that the locals don’t actually all dress like they’re on a reality tv show and just wear jeans and trainers.

I love it!

im an oldie who loves to learn new things.

and was proud to copy my DD and buy DM Chelsea boots. So comfy. So practical for wet, icy and snowy weather.

I would assume they are wearing the clothes they like and want to wear, do the same and don't worry about what others wear it isn't really anyones business

I hate heels and uncomfy dresses. I think I would've gone out more often and had more fun had we been allowed to dress comfier.

Because women don't want to ruin their feet and backs by wearing heals.

wear it with heel though and your whole posture changes instantly

and not in a healthy way, as your body is having to compensate for the unnatural strain heels put on your spine.

😂 thank you for making my day.

I'm almost on the same page as you, OP.

But I find it's not young people - it's middle-aged people who go around with poorly-fitting clothing and scruffy fabrics. The school up the road from me has a huge crowd of parents in their pyjamas and dressing gown slobbing around the gates every morning, for example. Not the "young" ones, either. It's disgusting.

On the other hand, it is a bit cringey and naff when people overdress too - like when people from Essex (don't come at me, I'm an ex-Essex girl) "dress up fancy" with full evening makeup and huge heels just to go shopping on Oxford street or go to dinner at a chain restaurant.

Understated and neat will usually win the day.

A "no trainers" sign in a club in the 1990s was always indicative of being the shit/dodgy/rip off/meat market/grab a granny ones. The good ones which played fantastic music so you could dance your arse off always allowed trainers.

YABU. I'm late forties and I've stopped wearing dresses and heals early 30s when I gained enough confidence to not conform. I hate heals and dressing up for the male gaze.